Wahai Tuanku

Assalamualaikum wbt.....
Moga sejahtera, ceria, berkat.

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Bila dia berseru merayu...


Wahai tuanku, yang diam aku dalam kamar rusukmu,
Ketahuilah olehmu akan rinduku;
pada ayat-ayat Sang Kekasih, Tuanku sebelum kamu,
Ayat yang mampu menghembus nyawa,
menggetar kewujudanku.
Membasuh, saki debu di mataku.
Rindu, sungguh aku rindu.


Namun, siksa ya tuanku,
Apa ini yang kau sajikan buatku,
bila diam aku dalam kamar rusukmu,
Hina dari mana yang kau palitkan ke wajahku.?
Dan kau biarkan...
lapisan atas lapisan...
keras membatu.
Padanlah indah suci dunia...
atau syahdunya panggilan kepangkuanNya...
tak bisa kufahami, kudengar, kulihat lagi.


Wahai tuanku,
Aku menunggu malam bicara denganmu,
menanti dari sudut terdalam kamar rusukmu,


Tuanku...
Aku terdengar desiran api dari kejauhan.
Lekas tuan...selamatkan!
Aku dan kamu...
kerna diamku dalam kamar rusukmu.


--drMyrisstyca 18.07.2011

Wassalam.

PMC Pre-Farewell

Assalamualaikum wbt and hye!

Firstly, congratulations to all my PMC 2011 colleagues for passing through our final exams together. Alhamdulillah, all praise be to Allah for such wonderful gift.

A Place to remember

I hope everyone will be great doctors and continue to learn and grow. Maybe next time I see you all are mo's and specialist. Or future DG. hehe

"The practice of Medicine is an art, not a trade;a calling, not a business;  a calling in which your heart will be exercised equally with your head. Often the best part of your work will have nothing to do with potions and powders, but with the exercise of an influence of the strong upon the weak, of the righteous against the wicked, of the wise upon the foolish".

~ Sir William Osler

What I like in PMC is after a windy day, you can see petals gathering on the parking lot like this.

I really hope to see you guys again and hope we will still be in touch. Remember me in your prayers.

"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."

~Sir Winston Churchill, Nov 1942

Bubble tea madness is not the same without equally maniac colleagues.

I hope to remember all the wonderful memories we have together and cherish every moments. But sometimes we do forget.... If you see me on the streets sometimes in the future, and somehow I didn't recognize you guys/girls, do say hi to me (and treat me to a dinner).

Totally random: The day the big tree was going down.

See you all on graduation day.... and in the future, God willing. :)

Primum non nocere

Assalamualaikum wbt....

Primum non nocere , meaning First, do no harm.
Ever heard of this? Its the ethical conduct of nonmaleficence.
As doctors, not to harm the patient and be safe doctor is very important.
A promise not to do any harm is also stated in versions of Hippocratic Oath.

Do you know that there is a hadith about this?

On the authority of abu Sa'd Al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allah - peace be upon him - said: "The should be no harm nor should there be any harming (to the others)"
(Transmitted by Ibn Majah and Al-Darqutni as a good Hadith)

From the An-Nawawi Forty-Two Hadith moderated by Muhammad Higab, the importance of this hadith is due to the fact that it prohibit all kinds of harm, regardless of magnitude of harm. An example in Islamic law, like fasting, is legislated as long as a man is able to perform it. should he cant because of any sickness or travel in which the fasting may cause harm, then the shariah allow the worshiper to break the fast and perform restitution. So as tayammum is allowed when a person can't apply water to his body because of sickness.

Also is to be noted that Allah has forbidden all harmful substances, whether the harm be done to oneself, family, wealth or fame.

"Do not take them (divorced women) back merely to harrass them, and whoever does that harms his own soul." 

(Quran 2:231)

"No soul is to be burdened with more than it can bear, no mother is to be harmed because of her child, nor father because of his child..."

( Quran 2:233)

*
*
*

So, instead of harming others... lets do the opposite. Lets heal!

[PMC / Penang] Pre-loved and still loved but need to let go...

Assalamualaikum wbt....

My initial evacuation plan from Penang by mid-June involved some yard sale but I decided to do some promotion for bigger stuff. (Just in case people does not want them... I don't know what to do with them, haha)

1. The bed frame.
2. The mattress.
3. The washing machine.
4. 'The table fan.
5. The ironing board.
6. The curtain.
7. The vacuum cleaner.
8. + - the study table.
9. The pails (got 4 good sized ones).

Details: For the big stuff, I will give super-cheap price (maybe 1/3 ori price) if you will be willing to pick them up yourself. I'll try to describe the defects honestly so you can make an informed decision.

The Bed Frame

This is one of the 2 items I wish I can bring home. This is the best bed frame I ever had. Seriously, I'm in love with it. Good heavy wooden, no creaking. In best condition, minus some moving scratches caused I moved 2 times.

The Mattress

Second thing I wish I can bring home. 7.5 inch thick Moon I Series - Golden Age - Goodnight Brand. Spring mattress with perfect balance between hard and soft that guarantees good quality sleep, the one that will cause you to be late for class cause bed is just so yummy. (upsie!)

The Washing Machine

Best thing brought from senior. So, time with us is 1 year but with senior... Im not sure. Good thing is the electronic part was newly changed exactly 1 year ago by the company (was still under warranty then) so until now, it still works like wonder. Fully automatic. Oh, and of course the piping system will be included.

The Table Fan

2 1/2 year old. Panasonic so best quality.

The Ironing Board

Tesco brand. Quite flimsy, few months old. Will just give for free to anyone who take any first 4 item. 

The Curtain

The fabric is thick which is a good thing for me. Missing one of the "tarik-to-side-thingy". Will just give for free to anyone who take any first 4 item. 

The Vacuum Cleaner

Tesco brand. Compact Bagless Vacuum Cleaner. Quite good, just few months old. Need no replacement vaccum bag.

The Study Table

Strong plywood. 46x22x26 inch. There's a lot of "beauty-marks" secondary to my "artistic" endevours. 1 flat drawer and 3 side drawers. I don't think I still keep the keys. 

The Pails

Somehow I ended up with a lot of pails after the senior left 1 year ago. You can have them for free haha!

Okay, if interested, leave a comment/contact me.

Prisoner.

Assalamualaikum wbt....

I was looking up to my room ceiling in random contemplation. Somehow I ended up staring at the fluorescent lamp (which is not a good idea for your eyes!) and realised.... if I focus my view to the centre of my ceiling, I still can appreciate the four corners of room in my field of vision. Meaning... my room is quite small.

Like this....

It made me think, how big a prison cell is so I stumbled on this...

Picture taken off google image.

..which is a prison cell (a comfy one nonetheless). That kind of resembled my room layout which is like this...

Room layout.

Pertaining to the picture above:
Yes, you need to have maximum dimension of 29 cm at 0-74cm from floor level to pass through that small gap. Thats why I should not gain weight.
Yes, I handmade a table out of duct tape, some metal skeleton of a worn out flail plastic "cupboard".  (So comot and un-lady-like kan? Dont worry, after some homey table runner... it looks kinda okay.) If you need some space for your humongous collection of semi-junk craft and "art" paraphernalia, you will start keeping a another type of junk and make a table out of it. haha.. Okay, its only me.

It have extra storage room and a long rod to hang some random stuff.

Looks kinda sloppy but actually real strong.

The legs completely duct-taped (combination of 2 rods).

Honestly, if I know how to weld I will not use duct tape. But hey, duct tape binds anything! Hahaha...(eh... no it doesn't bind people. Eh... it does... but it doesn't bind people's heart.)

Okay, enough straying....
Thats what you get trying to squash all your belonging into a room so you can call it a home (or a cave). Haha... at least you have everything within you arm's reach! This little sweet prison of mine... which I will hopefully abandon and leave after 2 weeks from now. For now, I'll endure being its prisoner, semi-tortured by books and notes until my time is due. I will try to exhibit good conduct and behavior so I'll pass the trial and be free to face the real world. (not on patrol, but a fully free individual).

The room, during day 1 relocation to this room (no langsir yet).

p/s- Yes, Ill be leaving that hideous handmade table if anyone is wondering. :p

Catch, Hold, Release.

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Last night I allowed myself to catch up with an old friend.I was considerably busy, but I did not feel of letting go of the conversation. I didn't remember the last time we had a good chat. Though I could only appreciate her in words without visual or auditory stimuli, there was still the same heart I knew behind those words. The one capable of making the counterpart inside me did a little back-flip out of excitement. She reminded me, why I keep her dear.

Time does funny things to us. It make the meeting long ago a distant memory. With memory comes sentimental values. I think thats what making the past seems so cinematic. Its something you conjure out of your brain, then somehow you end up adding your own feelings to it, which form and reform the image. Can they really be that reliable? Bits and pieces I can recall, but perhaps not the whole picture. But that little pieces forms a string that ties our hearts together, albeit being loosened  by time. Its up to us to tug it up and strenghten back the bond.

We dont talk to each other daily or even weekly or monthly like the old times. Back then we will gossip, share our little secrets and fear and troubles,laugh and cry together. How lonely one's heart without another. Now we have our own persons, and life and responsibility. Now we start talking about life,  old times and old friends... we may not go back to where we were, but savouring the fact that with years we grow and our penumbra grows, I think its fine if we can still shine in each other's sky, even as a little star. We were each other's sunshine.

Congratulations on your coming little one,dear.

When I'm afraid...

Assalamualaikum wbt and good day to everyone...

I'm not a particularly strong or brave person. I'm not unafraid of the dark, the unknown and the dangerous. Being scared is sometimes the right feelings to have. Why? Because it makes you aware and cautious.

Like pain, its a sign. Pain tells you there is something wrong with the body so you will seek for help. Acute pain can also help your body knows when and to what direction to withdraw yourself to avoid further damage. (in case of "pain withdrawal reflex"). You can endure the pain when you need too (unless its too severe you will need help) .

Fear is something we can endure too.

“Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all. For now you are traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be.”, quote by Meg Cabot.

"Scared if what you are feeling, brave is what you are doing." , quote from The Room by Emma Donoghue.

I find that sometimes we have to be the brave one in the group. When everyone is afraid someone needs to put up a brave front (God knows how you feel inside) to function and lead the group. Some people prefer denial, to avoid "the elephant in the room". For example, you know it but you don't say it. (Ala "Jangan tegur..." hehe) Some people choose to deflect a little and distract themselves.

This is my little distraction aka (bad) coping mechanism.

Tada! Mr Felt Cat 

Rear-view.

"Blood-seep through bandage" broken heart 

[haha... beating around the bush to reach the point,kan?]

Anyway... tomorrow is scary but I just have to face it.

p/s- I fear God and Hellfire though.

How to Hand Sew Your Own Little Felt Coin Purse

Assalamualaikum wbt and good day everyone!

Fancy a little felt coin purse? Either you can choose one of the wonderful felt crafters from Malaysia's Craftzone to do the job (They are real good!) or satisfy those itchy little fingers and make one yourself! I made one recently because...

1. My wallet do not have coin working coin compartment....
2. Im tired of exploring my bag for coin.
3. I happened to have a felt sheet with nice design.
4. Im a bit stressed. Ha!
5. Itchy little fingers.

So, this was born...

Me being histrionic via photoshop.

As you can see, the sewing bit is a bit ...err... erroneous. That aside, I think I did a good job considering I conjure my own little pattern out of nowhere. Hey, its for personal use too. So, fair enough! Oh, I thought of sharing the steps with you. Just in case... but note nowhere in the tutorial I will specify any measurements. Im not a ruler person so its all approximation.

So, enough with the pleasantries... So you will need these...

A set of clip button (?), one normal button for decorative purpose, some  felt sheets.

...don't forget needle, thread and scissors of course. I used a patterned one and a solid coloured sheet. It's up to your taste, really. Do cut them to desired size.

1. Position the clip button (Im not sure of the appropriate term) at the centre and sew them.

2. Then flip to other side... you will see a bit of unsighty thread marks. So I sew a button over it. It makes the purse cuter too I suppose.

3. Locate the inner clip button position and cut rounded shape according to its size on the other sheet.

4. Align them.

5. Sew them together by blanket stitch / insang pari. Oh, not shown in picture, use thread with same colour as the inner felt (yellow in this case), and throw some reinforcing stitch around the clip button.

Getting more interesting, right?

At this point I stopped and thinkof how Im going to get a shape that will allow the purse to stand on its own. (and I forgot Mr Google...) so thats where this 2 little flaps come into picture.

This require a bit of adjustment. Thats the art of it. ;p
So the height of the rectangle will determine height of your purse.  And the length will determine the maximum breadth of the purse, at the bottom. The midlength will determine the bredth at the opening side. To approximate the height I suggest you read on through a few steps and this will give you some idea before you start.

6. Mark the horizontal midpoint of the rectangle using pen/ cloth marker.Then choose appropriate height... and make a horizontal line around 1.5-2 cm.  This part will be folded later. Also mark one oblique line each like in the picture.
7. Oblique line will be the guide. Put the rectangle in between 2 felt sheets.

Its taking shape!

8. Sew (using any technique you like...) the inner felt and the rectange. Do not sew in the outer felt too.
9. Fold as shown.

Reinforcing structure.

10. Sew the base (the folded rectangle with inner felt).

Almost!

11. Sew the side (rectangle + inner felt + outer felt). Sewing direction is just a suggestion.

There you go!

12. Sew to the end. :p

So, thats all folks. There are a lot of better tutorials in the net, just in case I confuse you. 

Happy trying!

Word salad for thought

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Someone told me something to this effect (paraphased):

"Buat sang katak di bawah tempurung, apakah bezanya kaca dan intan?"

Not that it matters much,kan? Tapi bila dia cuba keluar dari tempurungnya, ke sebuah kerajaan yg menggunakan intan untuk survive... then it matters. 

Tau tak cerita ugly duckling? Yang anak itik yang kononye tak hensem, tetiba bila besar jadi macho giler sbb rupanya dia tu swan. Krisis identiti betul kan? 

Masa darjah berapa ntah, sy kene tulis cerita autobiografi. I think its for an english essay. I wrote about this little fish making friends with some guppies. Then he developed some itchyness.... and legs! He thought he is a mutant  ... later he figured out he is a frog. It must be funniest autobiography the teacher ever read... Usually its about "Aku sebatang pen" that subsequently thrown out or something to that effect,kan?

Hehehe....

Kesian kan? He must have thought that he is one of those beautiful guppies but end up a frog, kalau toad lagi kesian haha... But that, judging from paras rupa. In the end, frogs leh tahan gak sbb boleh jadikan guppy2 tu santapan dia. Apa ngarut dah....

Tapi kan... kalau in real life... 

I hope that like that tadpole who grew legs.... 

I will grow stronger, wiser, better... maybela tak physical nye changes kan, kang samada kene join Xmen, atau jadi bahan ujikaji....

And some people will grow spine (and responsibility). And be a useful person to society, family and themselves.

In the pouring rain...

Assalamualaikum and good day to everyone...

It has been raining in the afternoon lately. Sometimes it pours, morning, noon and night too. Im not good in geography... is this monsoon season or something? Or its just the earth getting funny with all this tsunamis, earthquakes and hurricanes.

One day last few weeks, it was raining heavily as Im going to morning wardwork. There was a traffic jam along the way to hospital because a huge tree breaks at the trunk, fall on a concrete (i presume) electric pole and both fall over on a car parking by the roadside. Things... just happen like that. It can happen to anyone. If you lose your car only that thats lucky, you could be inside and bye bye life!

Things like this...

We had our last surgery rotation in Taiping early this week. Taiping means a hotel stay and with that comes aircond, nice beds and Astro. With Astro comes Discovery channel and as we were settling down cozy with our Oxford handbook in hands (for rapid revision), we came across the documentary about the recent tsunami in Japan.. In the documentary they showed how the initial earthquake comes about, and videos on how the initial wave come sweeping. There was a footage showing people running away from building during earthquake. One of them went to the open field...

Adah said something like, "Ha, that person will be safe (from object falling on him) as he is on open field..."

"But he cant run if the tsunami come and sweep him... or the earth on which he crouch, split open and engulf him whole." , I interjected.

Truly, if its Allah's will.... can you run away? This has really made me feel, oh how small we are, how tiny and weak we are....

But one thing that touched me, was when disaster happens, people will go out and look out for their family and loved ones. Okay, minus the panicky moments when we just think of saving ourselves. I told Adah, "In situation like this, we might not be able to look after our family, kan? Coz we are the frontliners.... we have to be in our doctor's cap in situation like this."

Like the firefighters and the paramedics and the police and the army.... and all those who have responsibilities. Like the people who are working hard in Fukushima Daiichii, putting life on line for others. If one day things happen, not that Im praying for disaster... but... just in case, we will be there for you. :)

We will be there for you... That also what I have been thinking as I drove to hospital one afternoon in a heavy rain. I started thinking what will happen if it floods heavily? (Few episodes of flash flooding has deterred my way to hospital few days earlier). I still have to go to work then. Cause people will need us then.

So I arrived in hospital 20 minutes early from an anaesthesia teaching, parked around 300 meters away from the nearest shelter. Can't get out of the car because its raining cats and dogs. And I do not have any umbrella... yes, I get it..."Sediakan payung sebelum hujan". I don't want to be drenched like the kitty I saw in the drain in Kuantan (it was saved by good samaritan). So I waited for the rain to stop or getting lighter.

For illustration purpose only.

5 mins to the class... no change. Remembering that I my resolution on the way.... "We are needed, rain or shine!" I stepped out into the rain and got my kitty look at the end of 300 meters. (and wierd looks from passerby(s). Sure it was not my paranoia.) Good thing we have to change before getting into the operation theatre. But I was late... so I got a little scolding. haha....

p/s- Yesterday I got a small blue umbrella from Daiso. Blue for the cooling effect under the sun.

My best beloved!

Assalamualaikum wbt...

This little note, is special, to the love of my life.

You are my pulse that beats throughout my whole life... and beyond, because you are my gate to heaven. You are to me, heaven sent. And the fact that I was sent to you, the most amazing person in the world, 25 years ago, is something that I will forever cherish, and the best thing that can happen to me.

You are the most special person to me, today, and any other day. Everyday is special to be because you are here with me. Because you, made me who I am. For that my sweet dear Ibu, I'm wholeheartedly thankful to you. You and Abah raised me a person that will love herself and this life so much, cause you made this world a wonderful place as soon as I know this world. I bet, Ibu... because the first thing I know about in this world is you.

My sweet lovely best beloved Ibu dear,
I can be doing all the things in the whole world but Allah knows I can never ever pay for all you have done for me. From my learning I saw how a lady go through giving birth, and God willing I will know how it feels, but I will never know how much pain and sacrifices exactly that you have gone through for me. For all those my sweet beloved Ibu, no matter what I do I will always be indebted in your love. And the only thing I can do is to pray and pray... Oh, Allah ... bless you with true happiness and Jannah.

~ To my dear Ibu, Naemah Ismail~

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I include a super old video I edited long time ago.

Postcards are awesome!

...and handwriting, and heartwriting (cardiogram!)
Just saying ;p

Wedding banner for my dear friend

Assalamualaikum wbt....

Because the bride-to-be has spilled the beans, its not going to be me letting the cat out of the bag with this post. (And I gained her permission to post this.) Its still few months to go but firstly, may everything be well. 

It was me who did the banner and bunting design for the future ocassion. (wedding day,yay!) What do you think of them?

Banner

Bunting

It was made by combination of various stock photos from deviantart.com using photoshop. Ah... its been a while since my photoshopping days.

So, leh bukak kedai x? Or amik comission, haha.... (cam free je kan?)

Almost empty fridge mix and match.

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Hungry but lazy to go out to grab something to eat? - checked!
Have hashbrown, eggs, cheese slices, sausages in the fridge? - checked!
[only have that...]

Then, lets try this, just for fun!

Thanks to Ms paint!

[Disclaimer: Im not responsible for any episode of diarrhoea or constipation secondary to trying this. This is only tested on human once. She is alive and well and able to update her blog.]

Maybe later can experiment with some vege and put in mushroom soup or something. :)

Happy day everyone!

Ceritera Kawen Mawen : Tangga Rumah Pengantin

Assalamualaikum wbt dan salam sejahtera semua....

Disclaimer: First half of the title itu sengaja digunakan sebagai tribute kepada sebuah post yang popular di sebuah blog yang popular. (hahaha!)

Setelah lama blog ni bersawang dgn jaringan sesawang maya, tetiba muncul pulak idea nak menulis. So, layan sajelah ye? hehe....

Disebabkan saya dan sahabat2 sebaya ni dah masuk zon-zon menjadi pinangan, isteri dan ibu orang, maka tiap kali cuti atau even weekend je, ade sajelah jemputan yang bertandang. Baru tadi dapat kad wangi merah-merah gitu dari Amira Anis <-- free promotion. . Lepas exam ni pulak, sy expect lagi banyak kad wangi masuk inbox, hehe. Keep it coming... selalu sy dpt sponsorship nasik minyak ni. Oh, tahniah juga kpd pengantin2 inai kat tangan pun x habis lagi kan. Love is in the air-lah.... (Love love pun exam lg 10 minggu ye? Ya Tuhan!)

Hehe... so, saje je nak kongsikan pengalaman perbidanan-terjun-ku (penerjunan bidan??!!) secara tetiba dilantik sebagai mak andam. Tapi bukan la pengantin yg diandamkan... daku mak andam tangga aje. Ibu ada janji dgn jiran nk buatkan bunga tangga setelah jiran tersebut terkenan dgn bunga tangga yang ibu buat dulu. So, dah ade kat umah masa tu... kenela jadi assistant. So, the pakar will do the florist-works, sy pulak terkapai-kapaila buatkan scallop yg x berapa scallop. Kiranya, just balut jela tangga tu....

Initial Look

Flowers added.

Bunga yang ada tak cukup and mcm2 jenis, so pakai mix sesedap rasa je.

Dari tengah tangga.

Detail sikit.

Pandangan ke bawah dgn scallop x jadinya.

House no.2. Lain sikit style sbb work with material yg ada. Tangga pon lain.

Roses!

Pandangan sisi...

Some detailing.

Jadi... inilah pengalaman 2 tangga yang dibuat dalam hujung minggu lalu. First time ni, seronokla jugak. Tapi yela, kita ni bukanlah berpengalaman so banyak lagi nak belajar. Walaupun sekadar tangga yang dihias dan mungkin orang x perasan pun... sebab kenduri ni ada banyak elemen, tapi puas hati dapat menolong (sebab x tolong dekat dapur pun ngehehe....

Tapi yg paling best bila ada tetamu lalu masa sy tgh bekerja dan tanya, " Ada bukak kedai ke?". Haha... mintak maafla ye akak.... Sy dah ade org book sebagai future employee iaitu KKM. X dapekla nak bukak kedai. 

Okay itu saje buat masa ini.... sy sudahi dgn ...

"Dan diantara tanda-tanda kekuasan-Nya ialah diciptakan-Nya untukmu pasangan hidup dari jenismu sendiri supaya kamu mendapat ketenangan hati dan dijadikan-Nya kasih sayang diantara kamu. Sesungguhnya yang demikian menjadi tanda-tanda kebesaran-Nya bagi orang-orang yang berfikir” -Ar Rum 21