Bookaholic Anonymous

Assalamualaikum wbt and hye....



Is there any Bookaholic Anonymous support group out there? I need to refer a patient for help somewhere. Here is her condensed history...

[WARNING: This history may not be reliable as patient is currently in active stage of her problem.]

Presenting Complaint & History:
Miss S, a 23+ year old, (cute) Malay female medical student, admitted herself voluntarily for interview with a chronic history of "excessive need to shop for books".

• Impulsive book buying since 5 years ago when she started getting pocket money from JPA. Started off buying bimonthly comic, graphic novels, novels, some self help and last year ventured to limited edition fan books / hardcover / first edition books (not hardbacks which cost less).
• One severe episode of shopping spree involving going to multiple charity shops and buying at least 30 books in a week.
• Even go to bookstores in foreign countries eg: Germany. And actually bought a german book.
  
• Cannot walk in front of bookstores without feeling compelled to go in.
  
• Once go in must walk trough all isles, check all bestseller and promotional books, buy at least one book or at least read through one whole book. If not done anxiety symptoms will emerge. Seeing new books from favorite authors will aggravate the symptoms.
  
• (Primacy of Books) If given RM 30, will actually ask for another RM 5 coz novels usually cost around RM35. Rather buy books than shop for dresses/shoes/makeups.
  
• Feels that the thought of buying book is so strong it takes a lot to resist it. However, it is ego-syntonic as buying books actually make her feel very happy, looking forward to reading it and not guilty. Do not feel annoyed when confronted about habit.
• Have bookstore club card so she can get discounts...
• Club card has increased the frequency of buying books.
• Feeling depressed when cannot go to Bookfairs...
  
• Preoccupied in thought of making money so can buy more books.
• Go to bookstores to "cool heads / calm nerves". Buying books give more potent effect. Writing her name in the book give intense satisfaction. Finishing a book induce cravings for more.
• Will try to read even in difficult light conditions eg: using handphone lights.
• Read the first thing in the morning for as eye-opener. Using every single free time to read.
• Reduce sensitivity to surroundings when reading. May forget to take meals. Can sit in one place for a long time and maintain reading posture. Residual neck pain after finish reading.
  
• Withdrawal symptoms: No symptoms because never ever tried to cut down the "consumptions".
• Intoxication: Dreams about book content, searching for fan-arts in deviantart, drawing fan-art, google author and new books.
  
• Functional impairment: Financial difficulty (however no problem with Ah Long), relationship problems (read books when she can talk to family and friends.), compromising college performance (urge to read even in exam week resulting in mediocre results).
• Loss of sleeping time at night as cannot sleep unless getting over a cliffhanger. Daytime somnolence and loss of energy the following day.
  
• Impaired judgement: Difficulty choosing between reading novels and lecture notes / textbooks.
• Insight: Fair. Know have problem but don't know what to do with it.
• Have bookstores related fantasies. eg: Wishing someone in the family to marry a bookstore owner. Bookstores sleepovers.
  

This is one sick patient....

Management: Trial of psychological treatments before biological regime. CBT, psychoeducation, addiction caunselling... Socially, Bookaholic Anonymous.

Patient's opinion, "I don't want any of that... can you just give me "Financial Support" (under social management...)??? And for group therapy, I want to join Book clubs...."

END of interview as patient becoming uncooperative and agitated as she feel the urge to read her new Neil Gaiman book.

Disorder of Prematurity

Assalamualaikum wbt n hye...

One not so fine day, my dad msg me on facebook chat, " Can I talk to you about something?"
Messages like that, makes my heart skipped a beat each time.
Then Ill get some anxiety symptoms like palpitations, sweating, increase heart rate, inicrease breathing rate, butterflies in my tummy.
Just anticipating what he's gonna say.
Then you realise, its nothing. Its not that bad.
People can have panic attack just because of the way they think.
Because your thinking effects how you feel, how you behave, and what you will feel, physically.
Try to relax...
Take a deep breath.

Facing reality is always hard.
But most of the time you will be stuck in one place and not moving.
Like entapped in time, but time is wasting away.
And you feel hopeless, worthless, helpless, just because you are unable to face that one thing.
Just one thing and you are denying the prospect of wonderful future in front of you.
Pro and cons...
In the end, the answer is...
GET OVER IT!

~*~*~

He said, its all right to show to others, that you have managed things in a mature way.
I hope I did.
(The managing part, not the showing part.)
I made my choices, based on what I believe.
After a lot of thinking, that is... and hope for divine intervention.
For a sinful heart, is it able to make a choice without Your guidance?
Show us the rightful path, Oh Allah...

But what is mature, mind you?
Wiser than yesterday???
Wiser than them?
Wise enough to act upon ur wisdom???
To do the right thing, when it is the "rightest" choice available.

We make mistakes...
And one mistake can effect not only us.
but without it we never learns, even though it is possible..
but its not whats feasible for mediocre human.
So mistakes I make, to be wiser, to be more matured...
BEAR WITH ME.

~*~*~

Maturity is relative of the past...
Relative between 2 people...
As all the things in life, we just can strive to near perfection...
forever diagnosed with "Disorder" of Prematurity...
but its not that bad.

:)

Unless you regress!

Exam Nite Curry-in-a-Hurry

Assalamualaikum wbt n hye...

[WARNING: Don't cook this if you want to impress your future-mother-in-law. This recipe is not even approved by my mother...]

3 cloves garlic crushed (just whack em with ur kitchen knife)
1 red onion (cut anyhow u want, omit also can)
2 birds eyes chillies (cut... put more if you are a fan of minesweeper)

a pinch salt
1/4 pinch sugar (omit if u dont like)
about 1/2 packet dried coconut milk
about 1/3 packet curry powder
1/2 cup h20
(in practice, no need to measure them, just throw in)

A small can of Sardine (Ciken Brand or any brand u like)
random foodstuff in ur fridge (baby corn is perfect coz just need to cut few times...)
Rice cooked already (can do both at same time)

Put oil --> hot --> put onion-chily-garlic combo --> nice smell --> put curry powder --> put randomies --> curry powder looks ok --> put in sardine + the sauce and coconut powder n some h20 (no need to use hot water..)

Put salt n sugar.. Kacau a bit.... make sure api not to big... close the lid...

Go and read 1/4 of ur lecture notes... then check... if still x okay, read another 1/8 maybe... (if u are the kind that constantly refer to textbook... make it 1/6 lecture notes...)... if you have Checking-type OCD... i can't help you then.

Suppose to siap then... eat while ur lecture notes flashing at you using power point.

--------------------
All the best for exams!

No pet allowed~

Assalamualaikum wbt n hye all...

I think i want a pet.
I missed putting my cheeks onto warm, breathing, fluffy, purring beings...
Listening to tiny heartbeat and let my hand ride the tide and trough of respiration...
Just being there in the same room and feel contented with the silence, the lack of movement, but the little signs of life...
Life...
...shared...
It has been a while.

In this apartment you can't have a pet.
But then, going out in the morning, coming back late, keeping one home might make one depressed...

So I got myself a potted plant...
Lets take care of each other, okay?


-----------------------------

I think there was a brawl in front of the lobby of our apartment. There was shouting, then the police came, then the ambulance, much later...
A lot of passersby was watching. i wonder what has happened.
Maybe if i go to Psychiatric ward a new patient is admitted tonight... or maybe other ward..
What am i thinking...

-----------------------------


Me and my mom haven't get time to proceed with the story book for deaf kids project yet. But I manage to borrow her huge dictionary... hohoho! So I can just browse when I have time. My tablet at home has been having connection wire problem so I can't directly draw the signs into computer... which is more convenient and neat. I'll see if I can get a new one. My bro said after graduating and get job he will buy us the computer that u can directly draw on it. Forget the name. A lot in market already... My current dream is Wacom Cintiq. Okay, I know I don't have a lot of skills, so maybe a high end tool (high end ke???) is not worth it in my hands... i mean, i not worth it to handle such tools, hoho. But its good to dream, right?


----------------------

There are things making me thinks a lot about death lately. No, not suicidal ideation... I mean, death can come to us anytime, rite? The natural and the sudden ones. no one know when he or she will die... If I die typing this, you guys won't even have the chance to read it then. If I die rite now, there are a lot of people I want to apologize to and probably won't have a chance. If I die rite now, there are still a lot of things I want to say but I never do. Secrets may be buried with me, memories and feelings will linger. But what is the importance of that when you die... life of others will still go on. In sadness or happiness, you need to go on.

Of course, what u need to worry about is what you will bring to the hereafter....

Please forgive me if I its not fated for me to say it directly to you then. I'm sorry.

--------------------

Psychiatry rotation is coming to an end. I feel sad coz I truly enjoyed it. maybe its the lecturers effect, hehehe... I think I might consider going down this road... child psychiatry is just fascinating. But then again, I fall in love ever so easily... perhaps this is just a superficial kinda thing. There are a lot more cakes to taste, and I hope to be shown the perfect one to dive in for life... the path is still unwinding... there is still a long way to go (if God permits!)...

-------------------

Goodnite everyone! God bless u.

Pusat Serenti2

 Assalamualaikum wbt and hye...

Thinking back, I don't have much more to say about the topic, I'll just throw some bits and pieces of thought.

• Out of 300+ penghuni, 200+ are Malays. 30 Indian and 40 Chinese and 2 lain-lain... haih...
• I particularly like how they tried not to allow them to be physically agressive to each other, to train them to control their feelings and anger so when they go out, they will less likely resort to aggression when dealing with things.
  
• For eg: If you are angry or not satisfied with someone or want to report unacceptable behavior.... you have to write on a paper, just write anything...if you want to curse or what not, just write it all on the paper and put in designated box. Then it will either be resolved in meeting or personal issues will be dealt between both party in a session with therapist/staff present and the person with anger/dissatisfaction is allowed to let go verbally to the intended party in controlled environment. he is allowed to fume and speak till he is satisfied and the person in the receiving end just listen...coz the target is the angry one (teach not to be physical...). But the receiving person can say if he can't take it anymore, and maybe the staff will facilitate any discussion. in the end, they will resolve the prob, and life goes back to normal. (ideally)
• Other interesting thing they do is the "punishment" if you do something major, called learning experience, you have to wear blue t-shirt that is different than others, and asked to do stuff like cleaning a huge pasu (kat air pancut) with toothbrush and everyone passing along have to stop and "advise" you about the mistake you made. This is like and effort to make u remember and ponder on ur mistake...and is carried out by ur peers.... ala2 raging tapi still kalau x dpt pengajaran gak... bolehla kene LE banyak2 kali lagik, hehe...
• Other one is while waiting for hearing, if you did something wrong, you have to sit in a chair, facing the wall, outside the room so ppl can see you....does it make u ponder on ur mistakes? Im not sure, never get that kind of punishment before, selalunye tgk anak org putih je kene sit on the corner... dulu kat skolah kene berdiri luar kelas. And kat skolah menengah pun biase kene duduk kat luar kelas sebab x hafal similarities and differences time kene tasmi' kelas ustazah bahasa arab, hehe....
• FIN-
  

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Don't believe it because I said it, believe it because its true.
Believe that I believe in you.
You can do it!!! ~(",)v

Layang-layang 2

Dia selalu terbuai semacam layang-layang bertali longgar,
kelam-kelibut dipukul ribut,
meluru kemana angin menderu,
menjunam bila angin hilang????

Tak tak....

Sebab ada yang menarik talinya...
membawanya pulang??
Atau meneguhkannya supaya boleh memanjat tinggi ...
lagi lagi dan lagi!