When I'm afraid...

Assalamualaikum wbt and good day to everyone...

I'm not a particularly strong or brave person. I'm not unafraid of the dark, the unknown and the dangerous. Being scared is sometimes the right feelings to have. Why? Because it makes you aware and cautious.

Like pain, its a sign. Pain tells you there is something wrong with the body so you will seek for help. Acute pain can also help your body knows when and to what direction to withdraw yourself to avoid further damage. (in case of "pain withdrawal reflex"). You can endure the pain when you need too (unless its too severe you will need help) .

Fear is something we can endure too.

“Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all. For now you are traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be.”, quote by Meg Cabot.

"Scared if what you are feeling, brave is what you are doing." , quote from The Room by Emma Donoghue.

I find that sometimes we have to be the brave one in the group. When everyone is afraid someone needs to put up a brave front (God knows how you feel inside) to function and lead the group. Some people prefer denial, to avoid "the elephant in the room". For example, you know it but you don't say it. (Ala "Jangan tegur..." hehe) Some people choose to deflect a little and distract themselves.

This is my little distraction aka (bad) coping mechanism.

Tada! Mr Felt Cat 

Rear-view.

"Blood-seep through bandage" broken heart 

[haha... beating around the bush to reach the point,kan?]

Anyway... tomorrow is scary but I just have to face it.

p/s- I fear God and Hellfire though.

How to Hand Sew Your Own Little Felt Coin Purse

Assalamualaikum wbt and good day everyone!

Fancy a little felt coin purse? Either you can choose one of the wonderful felt crafters from Malaysia's Craftzone to do the job (They are real good!) or satisfy those itchy little fingers and make one yourself! I made one recently because...

1. My wallet do not have coin working coin compartment....
2. Im tired of exploring my bag for coin.
3. I happened to have a felt sheet with nice design.
4. Im a bit stressed. Ha!
5. Itchy little fingers.

So, this was born...

Me being histrionic via photoshop.

As you can see, the sewing bit is a bit ...err... erroneous. That aside, I think I did a good job considering I conjure my own little pattern out of nowhere. Hey, its for personal use too. So, fair enough! Oh, I thought of sharing the steps with you. Just in case... but note nowhere in the tutorial I will specify any measurements. Im not a ruler person so its all approximation.

So, enough with the pleasantries... So you will need these...

A set of clip button (?), one normal button for decorative purpose, some  felt sheets.

...don't forget needle, thread and scissors of course. I used a patterned one and a solid coloured sheet. It's up to your taste, really. Do cut them to desired size.

1. Position the clip button (Im not sure of the appropriate term) at the centre and sew them.

2. Then flip to other side... you will see a bit of unsighty thread marks. So I sew a button over it. It makes the purse cuter too I suppose.

3. Locate the inner clip button position and cut rounded shape according to its size on the other sheet.

4. Align them.

5. Sew them together by blanket stitch / insang pari. Oh, not shown in picture, use thread with same colour as the inner felt (yellow in this case), and throw some reinforcing stitch around the clip button.

Getting more interesting, right?

At this point I stopped and thinkof how Im going to get a shape that will allow the purse to stand on its own. (and I forgot Mr Google...) so thats where this 2 little flaps come into picture.

This require a bit of adjustment. Thats the art of it. ;p
So the height of the rectangle will determine height of your purse.  And the length will determine the maximum breadth of the purse, at the bottom. The midlength will determine the bredth at the opening side. To approximate the height I suggest you read on through a few steps and this will give you some idea before you start.

6. Mark the horizontal midpoint of the rectangle using pen/ cloth marker.Then choose appropriate height... and make a horizontal line around 1.5-2 cm.  This part will be folded later. Also mark one oblique line each like in the picture.
7. Oblique line will be the guide. Put the rectangle in between 2 felt sheets.

Its taking shape!

8. Sew (using any technique you like...) the inner felt and the rectange. Do not sew in the outer felt too.
9. Fold as shown.

Reinforcing structure.

10. Sew the base (the folded rectangle with inner felt).

Almost!

11. Sew the side (rectangle + inner felt + outer felt). Sewing direction is just a suggestion.

There you go!

12. Sew to the end. :p

So, thats all folks. There are a lot of better tutorials in the net, just in case I confuse you. 

Happy trying!

Word salad for thought

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Someone told me something to this effect (paraphased):

"Buat sang katak di bawah tempurung, apakah bezanya kaca dan intan?"

Not that it matters much,kan? Tapi bila dia cuba keluar dari tempurungnya, ke sebuah kerajaan yg menggunakan intan untuk survive... then it matters. 

Tau tak cerita ugly duckling? Yang anak itik yang kononye tak hensem, tetiba bila besar jadi macho giler sbb rupanya dia tu swan. Krisis identiti betul kan? 

Masa darjah berapa ntah, sy kene tulis cerita autobiografi. I think its for an english essay. I wrote about this little fish making friends with some guppies. Then he developed some itchyness.... and legs! He thought he is a mutant  ... later he figured out he is a frog. It must be funniest autobiography the teacher ever read... Usually its about "Aku sebatang pen" that subsequently thrown out or something to that effect,kan?

Hehehe....

Kesian kan? He must have thought that he is one of those beautiful guppies but end up a frog, kalau toad lagi kesian haha... But that, judging from paras rupa. In the end, frogs leh tahan gak sbb boleh jadikan guppy2 tu santapan dia. Apa ngarut dah....

Tapi kan... kalau in real life... 

I hope that like that tadpole who grew legs.... 

I will grow stronger, wiser, better... maybela tak physical nye changes kan, kang samada kene join Xmen, atau jadi bahan ujikaji....

And some people will grow spine (and responsibility). And be a useful person to society, family and themselves.

In the pouring rain...

Assalamualaikum and good day to everyone...

It has been raining in the afternoon lately. Sometimes it pours, morning, noon and night too. Im not good in geography... is this monsoon season or something? Or its just the earth getting funny with all this tsunamis, earthquakes and hurricanes.

One day last few weeks, it was raining heavily as Im going to morning wardwork. There was a traffic jam along the way to hospital because a huge tree breaks at the trunk, fall on a concrete (i presume) electric pole and both fall over on a car parking by the roadside. Things... just happen like that. It can happen to anyone. If you lose your car only that thats lucky, you could be inside and bye bye life!

Things like this...

We had our last surgery rotation in Taiping early this week. Taiping means a hotel stay and with that comes aircond, nice beds and Astro. With Astro comes Discovery channel and as we were settling down cozy with our Oxford handbook in hands (for rapid revision), we came across the documentary about the recent tsunami in Japan.. In the documentary they showed how the initial earthquake comes about, and videos on how the initial wave come sweeping. There was a footage showing people running away from building during earthquake. One of them went to the open field...

Adah said something like, "Ha, that person will be safe (from object falling on him) as he is on open field..."

"But he cant run if the tsunami come and sweep him... or the earth on which he crouch, split open and engulf him whole." , I interjected.

Truly, if its Allah's will.... can you run away? This has really made me feel, oh how small we are, how tiny and weak we are....

But one thing that touched me, was when disaster happens, people will go out and look out for their family and loved ones. Okay, minus the panicky moments when we just think of saving ourselves. I told Adah, "In situation like this, we might not be able to look after our family, kan? Coz we are the frontliners.... we have to be in our doctor's cap in situation like this."

Like the firefighters and the paramedics and the police and the army.... and all those who have responsibilities. Like the people who are working hard in Fukushima Daiichii, putting life on line for others. If one day things happen, not that Im praying for disaster... but... just in case, we will be there for you. :)

We will be there for you... That also what I have been thinking as I drove to hospital one afternoon in a heavy rain. I started thinking what will happen if it floods heavily? (Few episodes of flash flooding has deterred my way to hospital few days earlier). I still have to go to work then. Cause people will need us then.

So I arrived in hospital 20 minutes early from an anaesthesia teaching, parked around 300 meters away from the nearest shelter. Can't get out of the car because its raining cats and dogs. And I do not have any umbrella... yes, I get it..."Sediakan payung sebelum hujan". I don't want to be drenched like the kitty I saw in the drain in Kuantan (it was saved by good samaritan). So I waited for the rain to stop or getting lighter.

For illustration purpose only.

5 mins to the class... no change. Remembering that I my resolution on the way.... "We are needed, rain or shine!" I stepped out into the rain and got my kitty look at the end of 300 meters. (and wierd looks from passerby(s). Sure it was not my paranoia.) Good thing we have to change before getting into the operation theatre. But I was late... so I got a little scolding. haha....

p/s- Yesterday I got a small blue umbrella from Daiso. Blue for the cooling effect under the sun.

My best beloved!

Assalamualaikum wbt...

This little note, is special, to the love of my life.

You are my pulse that beats throughout my whole life... and beyond, because you are my gate to heaven. You are to me, heaven sent. And the fact that I was sent to you, the most amazing person in the world, 25 years ago, is something that I will forever cherish, and the best thing that can happen to me.

You are the most special person to me, today, and any other day. Everyday is special to be because you are here with me. Because you, made me who I am. For that my sweet dear Ibu, I'm wholeheartedly thankful to you. You and Abah raised me a person that will love herself and this life so much, cause you made this world a wonderful place as soon as I know this world. I bet, Ibu... because the first thing I know about in this world is you.

My sweet lovely best beloved Ibu dear,
I can be doing all the things in the whole world but Allah knows I can never ever pay for all you have done for me. From my learning I saw how a lady go through giving birth, and God willing I will know how it feels, but I will never know how much pain and sacrifices exactly that you have gone through for me. For all those my sweet beloved Ibu, no matter what I do I will always be indebted in your love. And the only thing I can do is to pray and pray... Oh, Allah ... bless you with true happiness and Jannah.

~ To my dear Ibu, Naemah Ismail~

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I include a super old video I edited long time ago.

Postcards are awesome!

...and handwriting, and heartwriting (cardiogram!)
Just saying ;p