Myrisstycated

Jejak

2011-10-28T17:38:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt....

Pagi-pagi buta lagi (saat orang membuta!) abah mengajak pergi ke Kedah, menjemput ibu yang pulang dari Thailand, dan untuk menjejak sahabat-sahabat lama. Cuti yang cuma berbaki sehari, sayang jugak nak dihabiskan duduk di rumah sebab tak ada pulak kenderaan nak bergerak, Jadi... ikut sajalah!

Jadi pulanglah saya ke Jitra.
Ada peluang, menjenguk jejak-jejak yang ditinggalkan hari semalam. Ada yang hampir pudar, ada yang masih jelas tak berubah.

Kedai basikal yang kami selalu singgah untuk isi angin tayar sudah ditutup. Yang tertulis di depan kedai... untuk disewa.
Rumah kami membesar dulu, kini dipenuhi lalang tinggi.. Tapi ada yang datang menjenguk nampaknya tadi, nak dihuni orang baru mungkin.
Sekolah2 makin cantik bangunannya. Pejabat kerajaan pun tak kurang...
Pekan tempat kami berbasikal nak membeli utas tali untuk dijalin buat gelang persahabatan... dah turun pangkat jadi "kompleks", pekan-pekan baru dah naik. Dah hilang ladang2 tepi jalan dulu.
Lampu trafik makin banyak! Kata abah, dulu "pace" masyarakat disini rileks saja... dah masuk lampu hijau baru nak masuk gear. Mungkin sekarang tak lagi....

Walau ada yang masih sama...
Perpustakaan tempat kami lepak di hujung minggu kelihatan sama saja... dengan garaj yang sama kami meletak basikal.
Budak-budak masih naik basikal pergi pekan.
Mi Zul masih ada! Rugi tak dpt singgah.
Dan hati.... hati-hati yang masih sama seperti yang diingati sejak dulu.

Sekarang saya dalam perjalanan pulang....
Atau mungkin... boleh dikatakan... pulang dari kepulangan?
Lalu kutujukan lagu ini, buat tempat aku jatuh berkali2... tempat yang akan kukenang.

" Langkah demi langkah aku tinggalkan, desaku yang kusayangi.
Disana dulu aku dibesarkan, oleh ayah dan ibu.
Bayangmu terlihat semakin jauh, sejenak aku berpaling,
tak kurasakan titis air mata, membasahi pipiku...
Oh... selamat tinggal, desaku yang kusayangi...
pasti nanti aku kan kembali lagi ke sini..."

___________________
p/s: Sekarang hujan lebat. Tadi pakcik kata... tahun lalu bah naik waktu2 begini. Moga terjauh dari bencana...

Work, Life and Festival Buku Kanak-Kanak 2011

2011-10-25T13:55:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Hope today will be a good day to everyone. Mine is pretty good, as I'm having a good rest this morning, going to work night shift today. Hope the goodness will last the day, the night and as long as it can get!

Its been a while since I update. I believe I haven't done so since starting housemanship. All is well right now at work, don't worry. Its kinda tiring, a bit challenging and sometimes things get to my nerves and give me some mild shock.... but that the way work is for any field I think. I get ocassional burts of happiness seing cute face and discharging well babies home to welcoming family, or satisfaction that your little intervention is going to be working... or just happy getting to know new friends and colleagues. Hard part is sometimes the inner fight, the mixture of anxiety, fear, awkwardness, uncertainty, lack of confidence, a dash of ego and sometimes the desire to just to have some rest. I'm getting accustomed to things, learning, and making mistakes.... maybe tad bit slowly... but I really hope ill be good.

Starting on this job is one thing...
I also got this opportunity to help my mother when she write and illustrate a litte book.
Sneak peak....

The water-lily lake.

I messed with the paintings at night after work... and got real tired. But the book will be published (yay!!) and launched in ...

Do come and find our book within Artgenting/ IBBY (International Board on Books for Young People) exhibition. Title : Tuah Si Berudu. (haha... simple je kan?)

Oh, talking about life.... I'm getting married this November. You are invited! :)

Wassalamualaikum. :)

Wahai Tuanku (ver.1)

2011-07-19T20:18:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt.....
Moga sejahtera, ceria, berkat.

-----
Bila dia berseru merayu...

Wahai tuanku, yang diam aku dalam kamar rusukmu,
Ketahuilah olehmu akan rinduku;
pada ayat-ayat Sang Kekasih, Tuanku sebelum kamu,
Ayat yang mampu menghembus nyawa,
menggetar kewujudanku.
Membasuh, saki debu di mataku.
Rindu, sungguh aku rindu.

Namun, siksa ya tuanku,
Apa ini yang kau sajikan buatku,
bila diam aku dalam kamar rusukmu,
Hina dari mana yang kau palitkan ke wajahku.?
Dan kau biarkan...
lapisan atas lapisan...
keras membatu.
Padanlah indah suci dunia...
atau syahdunya panggilan kepangkuanNya...
tak bisa kufahami, kudengar, kulihat lagi.

Wahai tuanku,
Aku menunggu malam bicara denganmu,
menanti dari sudut terdalam kamar rusukmu,

Tuanku...
Aku terdengar desiran api dari kejauhan.
Lekas tuan...selamatkan!
Aku dan kamu...
kerna diamku dalam kamar rusukmu.

--drMyrisstyca 18.07.2011

NAQ (Not Asked Question with Answer Offered in Advance...)

NAQ: Kenapa pakai "tuanku"... macam raja pulak?
AOA: Sebab kamu yang seharusnya merajai hati kamu.

Wassalam.

PMC Pre-Farewell

2011-06-15T01:14:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt and hye!

Firstly, congratulations to all my PMC 2011 colleagues for passing through our final exams together. Alhamdulillah, all praise be to Allah for such wonderful gift.

A Place to remember

I hope everyone will be great doctors and continue to learn and grow. Maybe next time I see you all are mo's and specialist. Or future DG. hehe

"The practice of Medicine is an art, not a trade;a calling, not a business; a calling in which your heart will be exercised equally with your head. Often the best part of your work will have nothing to do with potions and powders, but with the exercise of an influence of the strong upon the weak, of the righteous against the wicked, of the wise upon the foolish".

~ Sir William Osler

What I like in PMC is after a windy day, you can see petals gathering on the parking lot like this.

I really hope to see you guys again and hope we will still be in touch. Remember me in your prayers.

"Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."

~Sir Winston Churchill, Nov 1942

Bubble tea madness is not the same without equally maniac colleagues.

I hope to remember all the wonderful memories we have together and cherish every moments. But sometimes we do forget.... If you see me on the streets sometimes in the future, and somehow I didn't recognize you guys/girls, do say hi to me (and treat me to a dinner).

Totally random: The day the big tree was going down.

See you all on graduation day.... and in the future, God willing. :)

Primum non nocere

2011-06-11T18:44:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt....

Primum non nocere , meaning First, do no harm.
Ever heard of this? Its the ethical conduct of nonmaleficence.
As doctors, not to harm the patient and be safe doctor is very important.
A promise not to do any harm is also stated in versions of Hippocratic Oath.

Do you know that there is a hadith about this?

On the authority of abu Sa'd Al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allah - peace be upon him - said: "The should be no harm nor should there be any harming (to the others)"
(Transmitted by Ibn Majah and Al-Darqutni as a good Hadith)

From the An-Nawawi Forty-Two Hadith moderated by Muhammad Higab, the importance of this hadith is due to the fact that it prohibit all kinds of harm, regardless of magnitude of harm. An example in Islamic law, like fasting, is legislated as long as a man is able to perform it. should he cant because of any sickness or travel in which the fasting may cause harm, then the shariah allow the worshiper to break the fast and perform restitution. So as tayammum is allowed when a person can't apply water to his body because of sickness.

Also is to be noted that Allah has forbidden all harmful substances, whether the harm be done to oneself, family, wealth or fame.

"Do not take them (divorced women) back merely to harrass them, and whoever does that harms his own soul."

(Quran 2:231)

"No soul is to be burdened with more than it can bear, no mother is to be harmed because of her child, nor father because of his child..."

( Quran 2:233)

*
*
*

So, instead of harming others... lets do the opposite. Lets heal!

[PMC / Penang] Pre-loved and still loved but need to let go...

2011-06-08T21:50:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt....

My initial evacuation plan from Penang by mid-June involved some yard sale but I decided to do some promotion for bigger stuff. (Just in case people does not want them... I don't know what to do with them, haha)

The bed frame.
The mattress.
The washing machine.
'The table fan.
The ironing board.
The curtain.
The vacuum cleaner.
+ - the study table.
The pails (got 4 good sized ones).

Details: For the big stuff, I will give super-cheap price (maybe 1/3 ori price) if you will be willing to pick them up yourself. I'll try to describe the defects honestly so you can make an informed decision.

The Bed Frame

This is one of the 2 items I wish I can bring home. This is the best bed frame I ever had. Seriously, I'm in love with it. Good heavy wooden, no creaking. In best condition, minus some moving scratches caused I moved 2 times.

The Mattress

Second thing I wish I can bring home. 7.5 inch thick Moon I Series - Golden Age - Goodnight Brand. Spring mattress with perfect balance between hard and soft that guarantees good quality sleep, the one that will cause you to be late for class cause bed is just so yummy. (upsie!)

The Washing Machine

Best thing brought from senior. So, time with us is 1 year but with senior... Im not sure. Good thing is the electronic part was newly changed exactly 1 year ago by the company (was still under warranty then) so until now, it still works like wonder. Fully automatic. Oh, and of course the piping system will be included.

The Table Fan

2 1/2 year old. Panasonic so best quality.

The Ironing Board

Tesco brand. Quite flimsy, few months old. Will just give for free to anyone who take any first 4 item.

The Curtain

The fabric is thick which is a good thing for me. Missing one of the "tarik-to-side-thingy". Will just give for free to anyone who take any first 4 item.

The Vacuum Cleaner

Tesco brand. Compact Bagless Vacuum Cleaner. Quite good, just few months old. Need no replacement vaccum bag.

The Study Table

Strong plywood. 46x22x26 inch. There's a lot of "beauty-marks" secondary to my "artistic" endevours. 1 flat drawer and 3 side drawers. I don't think I still keep the keys.

The Pails

Somehow I ended up with a lot of pails after the senior left 1 year ago. You can have them for free haha!

Okay, if interested, leave a comment/contact me.

Prisoner.

2011-06-07T16:00:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt....

I was looking up to my room ceiling in random contemplation. Somehow I ended up staring at the fluorescent lamp (which is not a good idea for your eyes!) and realised.... if I focus my view to the centre of my ceiling, I still can appreciate the four corners of room in my field of vision. ~~Meaning... my room is quite small.~~

Like this....

It made me think, how big a prison cell is so I stumbled on this...

Picture taken off google image.

..which is a prison cell (a comfy one nonetheless). That kind of resembled my room layout which is like this...

Room layout.

Pertaining to the picture above:
Yes, you need to have maximum dimension of 29 cm at 0-74cm from floor level to pass through that small gap. Thats why I should not gain weight.
Yes, I handmade a table out of duct tape, some metal skeleton of a worn out flail plastic "cupboard". (So comot and un-lady-like kan? Dont worry, after some homey table runner... it looks kinda okay.) If you need some space for your humongous collection of semi-junk craft and "art" paraphernalia, you will start keeping a another type of junk and make a table out of it. haha.. Okay, its only me.

It have extra storage room and a long rod to hang some random stuff.

Looks kinda sloppy but actually real strong.

The legs completely duct-taped (combination of 2 rods).

Honestly, if I know how to weld I will not use duct tape. But hey, duct tape binds anything! Hahaha...(eh... no it doesn't bind people. Eh... it does... but it doesn't bind people's heart.)

Okay, enough straying....
Thats what you get trying to squash all your belonging into a room so you can call it a home (or a cave). Haha... at least you have everything within you arm's reach! This little sweet prison of mine... which I will hopefully abandon and leave after 2 weeks from now. For now, I'll endure being its prisoner, semi-tortured by books and notes until my time is due. I will try to exhibit good conduct and behavior so I'll pass the trial and be free to face the real world. (not on patrol, but a fully free individual).

The room, during day 1 relocation to this room (no langsir yet).

p/s- Yes, Ill be leaving that hideous handmade table if anyone is wondering. :p

When I'm afraid...

2011-05-31T14:20:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt and good day to everyone...

I'm not a particularly strong or brave person. I'm not unafraid of the dark, the unknown and the dangerous. Being scared is sometimes the right feelings to have. Why? Because it makes you aware and cautious.

Like pain, its a sign. Pain tells you there is something wrong with the body so you will seek for help. Acute pain can also help your body knows when and to what direction to withdraw yourself to avoid further damage. (in case of "pain withdrawal reflex"). You can endure the pain when you need too (unless its too severe you will need help) .

Fear is something we can endure too.

“Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all. For now you are traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be.”, quote by Meg Cabot.

"Scared if what you are feeling, brave is what you are doing." , quote from The Room by Emma Donoghue.

I find that sometimes we have to be the brave one in the group. When everyone is afraid someone needs to put up a brave front (God knows how you feel inside) to function and lead the group. Some people prefer denial, to avoid "the elephant in the room". For example, you know it but you don't say it. (Ala "Jangan tegur..." hehe) Some people choose to deflect a little and distract themselves.

This is my little distraction aka (bad) coping mechanism.

Tada! Mr Felt Cat

Rear-view.

"Blood-seep through bandage" broken heart

[haha... beating around the bush to reach the point,kan?]

Anyway... tomorrow is scary but I just have to face it.

p/s- I fear God and Hellfire though.

How to Hand Sew Your Own Little Felt Coin Purse

2011-05-26T15:38:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt and good day everyone!

Fancy a little felt coin purse? Either you can choose one of the wonderful felt crafters from Malaysia's Craftzone to do the job (They are real good!) or satisfy those itchy little fingers and make one yourself! I made one recently because...

My wallet do not have coin working coin compartment....
Im tired of exploring my bag for coin.
I happened to have a felt sheet with nice design.
Im a bit stressed. Ha!
Itchy little fingers.

So, this was born...

Me being histrionic via photoshop.

As you can see, the sewing bit is a bit ...err... erroneous. That aside, I think I did a good job considering I conjure my own little pattern out of nowhere. Hey, its for personal use too. So, fair enough! Oh, I thought of sharing the steps with you. Just in case... but note nowhere in the tutorial I will specify any measurements. Im not a ruler person so its all approximation.

So, enough with the pleasantries... So you will need these...

A set of clip button (?), one normal button for decorative purpose, some felt sheets.

...don't forget needle, thread and scissors of course. I used a patterned one and a solid coloured sheet. It's up to your taste, really. Do cut them to desired size.

1. Position the clip button (Im not sure of the appropriate term) at the centre and sew them.

2. Then flip to other side... you will see a bit of unsighty thread marks. So I sew a button over it. It makes the purse cuter too I suppose.

3. Locate the inner clip button position and cut rounded shape according to its size on the other sheet.

4. Align them.

5. Sew them together by blanket stitch / insang pari. Oh, not shown in picture, use thread with same colour as the inner felt (yellow in this case), and throw some reinforcing stitch around the clip button.

Getting more interesting, right?

At this point I stopped and thinkof how Im going to get a shape that will allow the purse to stand on its own. (and I forgot Mr Google...) so thats where this 2 little flaps come into picture.

This require a bit of adjustment. Thats the art of it. ;p
So the height of the rectangle will determine height of your purse. And the length will determine the maximum breadth of the purse, at the bottom. The midlength will determine the bredth at the opening side. To approximate the height I suggest you read on through a few steps and this will give you some idea before you start.

6. Mark the horizontal midpoint of the rectangle using pen/ cloth marker.Then choose appropriate height... and make a horizontal line around 1.5-2 cm. This part will be folded later. Also mark one oblique line each like in the picture.
7. Oblique line will be the guide. Put the rectangle in between 2 felt sheets.

Its taking shape!

8. Sew (using any technique you like...) the inner felt and the rectange. Do not sew in the outer felt too.
9. Fold as shown.

Reinforcing structure.

10. Sew the base (the folded rectangle with inner felt).

Almost!

11. Sew the side (rectangle + inner felt + outer felt). Sewing direction is just a suggestion.

There you go!

12. Sew to the end. :p

So, thats all folks. There are a lot of better tutorials in the net, just in case I confuse you.

Happy trying!

Word salad for thought

2011-05-23T00:36:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Someone told me something to this effect (paraphased):

"Buat sang katak di bawah tempurung, apakah bezanya kaca dan intan?"

Not that it matters much,kan? Tapi bila dia cuba keluar dari tempurungnya, ke sebuah kerajaan yg menggunakan intan untuk survive... then it matters.

Tau tak cerita ugly duckling? Yang anak itik yang kononye tak hensem, tetiba bila besar jadi macho giler sbb rupanya dia tu swan. Krisis identiti betul kan?

Masa darjah berapa ntah, sy kene tulis cerita autobiografi. I think its for an english essay. I wrote about this little fish making friends with some guppies. Then he developed some itchyness.... and legs! He thought he is a mutant ... later he figured out he is a frog. It must be funniest autobiography the teacher ever read... Usually its about "Aku sebatang pen" that subsequently thrown out or something to that effect,kan?

Hehehe....

Kesian kan? He must have thought that he is one of those beautiful guppies but end up a frog, kalau toad lagi kesian haha... But that, judging from paras rupa. In the end, frogs leh tahan gak sbb boleh jadikan guppy2 tu santapan dia. Apa ngarut dah....

Tapi kan... kalau in real life...

I hope that like that tadpole who grew legs....

I will grow stronger, wiser, better... maybela tak physical nye changes kan, kang samada kene join Xmen, atau jadi bahan ujikaji....

And some people will grow spine (and responsibility). And be a useful person to society, family and themselves.

In the pouring rain...

2011-05-20T13:12:00.005+08:00

Assalamualaikum and good day to everyone...

It has been raining in the afternoon lately. Sometimes it pours, morning, noon and night too. Im not good in geography... is this monsoon season or something? Or its just the earth getting funny with all this tsunamis, earthquakes and hurricanes.

One day last few weeks, it was raining heavily as Im going to morning wardwork. There was a traffic jam along the way to hospital because a huge tree breaks at the trunk, fall on a concrete (i presume) electric pole and both fall over on a car parking by the roadside. Things... just happen like that. It can happen to anyone. If you lose your car only that thats lucky, you could be inside and bye bye life!

Things like this...

We had our last surgery rotation in Taiping early this week. Taiping means a hotel stay and with that comes aircond, nice beds and Astro. With Astro comes Discovery channel and as we were settling down cozy with our Oxford handbook in hands (for rapid revision), we came across the documentary about the recent tsunami in Japan.. In the documentary they showed how the initial earthquake comes about, and videos on how the initial wave come sweeping. There was a footage showing people running away from building during earthquake. One of them went to the open field...

Adah said something like, "Ha, that person will be safe (from object falling on him) as he is on open field..."

"But he cant run if the tsunami come and sweep him... or the earth on which he crouch, split open and engulf him whole." , I interjected.

Truly, if its Allah's will.... can you run away? This has really made me feel, oh how small we are, how tiny and weak we are....

But one thing that touched me, was when disaster happens, people will go out and look out for their family and loved ones. Okay, minus the panicky moments when we just think of saving ourselves. I told Adah, "In situation like this, we might not be able to look after our family, kan? Coz we are the frontliners.... we have to be in our doctor's cap in situation like this."

Like the firefighters and the paramedics and the police and the army.... and all those who have responsibilities. Like the people who are working hard in Fukushima Daiichii, putting life on line for others. If one day things happen, not that Im praying for disaster... but... just in case, we will be there for you. :)

We will be there for you... That also what I have been thinking as I drove to hospital one afternoon in a heavy rain. I started thinking what will happen if it floods heavily? (Few episodes of flash flooding has deterred my way to hospital few days earlier). I still have to go to work then. Cause people will need us then.

So I arrived in hospital 20 minutes early from an anaesthesia teaching, parked around 300 meters away from the nearest shelter. Can't get out of the car because its raining cats and dogs. And I do not have any umbrella... yes, I get it..."Sediakan payung sebelum hujan". I don't want to be drenched like the kitty I saw in the drain in Kuantan (it was saved by good samaritan). So I waited for the rain to stop or getting lighter.

For illustration purpose only.

5 mins to the class... no change. Remembering that I my resolution on the way.... "We are needed, rain or shine!" I stepped out into the rain and got my kitty look at the end of 300 meters. (and wierd looks from passerby(s). Sure it was not my paranoia.) Good thing we have to change before getting into the operation theatre. But I was late... so I got a little scolding. haha....

p/s- Yesterday I got a small blue umbrella from Daiso. Blue for the cooling effect under the sun.

My best beloved!

2011-05-08T21:25:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

This little note, is special, to the love of my life.

You are my pulse that beats throughout my whole life... and beyond, because you are my gate to heaven. You are to me, heaven sent. And the fact that I was sent to you, the most amazing person in the world, 25 years ago, is something that I will forever cherish, and the best thing that can happen to me.

You are the most special person to me, today, and any other day. Everyday is special to be because you are here with me. Because you, made me who I am. For that my sweet dear Ibu, I'm wholeheartedly thankful to you. You and Abah raised me a person that will love herself and this life so much, cause you made this world a wonderful place as soon as I know this world. I bet, Ibu... because the first thing I know about in this world is you.

My sweet lovely best beloved Ibu dear,
I can be doing all the things in the whole world but Allah knows I can never ever pay for all you have done for me. From my learning I saw how a lady go through giving birth, and God willing I will know how it feels, but I will never know how much pain and sacrifices exactly that you have gone through for me. For all those my sweet beloved Ibu, no matter what I do I will always be indebted in your love. And the only thing I can do is to pray and pray... Oh, Allah ... bless you with true happiness and Jannah.

~ To my dear Ibu, Naemah Ismail~

---

I include a super old video I edited long time ago.

Postcards are awesome!

2011-05-04T21:04:00.001+08:00

...and handwriting, and heartwriting (cardiogram!)
Just saying ;p

Wedding banner for my dear friend

2011-04-26T16:32:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt....

Because the bride-to-be has spilled the beans, its not going to be me letting the cat out of the bag with this post. (And I gained her permission to post this.) Its still few months to go but firstly, may everything be well.

It was me who did the banner and bunting design for the future ocassion. (wedding day,yay!) What do you think of them?

Banner

Bunting

It was made by combination of various stock photos from deviantart.com using photoshop. Ah... its been a while since my photoshopping days.

So, leh bukak kedai x? Or amik comission, haha.... (cam free je kan?)

Almost empty fridge mix and match.

2011-04-24T14:28:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Hungry but lazy to go out to grab something to eat? - checked!
Have hashbrown, eggs, cheese slices, sausages in the fridge? - checked!
[only have that...]

Then, lets try this, just for fun!

Thanks to Ms paint!

[Disclaimer: Im not responsible for any episode of diarrhoea or constipation secondary to trying this. This is only tested on human once. She is alive and well and able to update her blog.]

Maybe later can experiment with some vege and put in mushroom soup or something. :)

Happy day everyone!

Being a Big Sister :)

2011-04-22T12:58:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

This is just a story about my experience joining a private SNS (Social Networking Site) hosted by a beautiful Japanese lady who teaches English in some Japanese universities. I've been invited since June 2009 and has been intermittently active there. I think the host is FC2. I think its more Japanese style type of SNS like mixi, usually by invitation only. (Western SNS are like MySpace, FB and friendster, I suppose.)

The (obviously edited) screencap.

Its in Japanese! Haha... and I am not very good even after 3 semesters of basic Japanese. Lucky most of the conversations are in English! The concept that I grasped from this site is we can write our diary entry (not strictly diary but also our insights... like a blog post.) and people will read them and comments. There are also private message system and also groups (but I do not venture there much).

This site is created as a portal for her students to interact in English and some number of "foreigners" are invited to spice up the mixture and give more insight of outside culture. The students will write their assignments in their diary. Sometimes, daily anecdotes. For me, I love to write about daily living in Malaysian culture, as well as some insights into life of medical students. Sometimes, the admin will feature our entries. (which is a huge incentive!)

I feel that I also act like a tutor sometimes. Some students will write and we will comment to encourage them. Some need help so we give our suggestions. Reading a lot of diaries, and recently, about how the Japanese people's plight and struggle to build back the nation, directly from the source, is making me feel quite near to them. Its like another small family of us. Its been 2 years and 4 semesters? Right now, every time the admin announce that there will be another batch of students coming in, I feel very excited! Haha... I feel like a big sister for being there longer. (even though sometimes I am not active for being busy with school..)

I think there is small part of me that like to teach. Maybe later down the line. Right now, Im still a student! Haha... Munirah, thanks for reminding yourself of that!

Ceritera Kawen Mawen : Tangga Rumah Pengantin

2011-03-16T23:50:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt dan salam sejahtera semua....

Disclaimer: First half of the title itu sengaja digunakan sebagai tribute kepada sebuah post yang popular di sebuah blog yang popular. (hahaha!)

Setelah lama blog ni bersawang dgn jaringan sesawang maya, tetiba muncul pulak idea nak menulis. So, layan sajelah ye? hehe....

Disebabkan saya dan sahabat2 sebaya ni dah masuk zon-zon menjadi pinangan, isteri dan ibu orang, maka tiap kali cuti atau even weekend je, ade sajelah jemputan yang bertandang. Baru tadi dapat kad wangi merah-merah gitu dari Amira Anis <-- free promotion. . Lepas exam ni pulak, sy expect lagi banyak kad wangi masuk inbox, hehe. Keep it coming... selalu sy dpt sponsorship nasik minyak ni. Oh, tahniah juga kpd pengantin2 inai kat tangan pun x habis lagi kan. Love is in the air-lah.... (Love love pun exam lg 10 minggu ye? Ya Tuhan!)

Hehe... so, saje je nak kongsikan pengalaman perbidanan-terjun-ku (penerjunan bidan??!!) secara tetiba dilantik sebagai mak andam. Tapi bukan la pengantin yg diandamkan... daku mak andam tangga aje. Ibu ada janji dgn jiran nk buatkan bunga tangga setelah jiran tersebut terkenan dgn bunga tangga yang ibu buat dulu. So, dah ade kat umah masa tu... kenela jadi assistant. So, the pakar will do the florist-works, sy pulak terkapai-kapaila buatkan scallop yg x berapa scallop. Kiranya, just balut jela tangga tu....

Initial Look

Flowers added.

Bunga yang ada tak cukup and mcm2 jenis, so pakai mix sesedap rasa je.

Dari tengah tangga.

Detail sikit.

Pandangan ke bawah dgn scallop x jadinya.

House no.2. Lain sikit style sbb work with material yg ada. Tangga pon lain.

Roses!

Pandangan sisi...

Some detailing.

Jadi... inilah pengalaman 2 tangga yang dibuat dalam hujung minggu lalu. First time ni, seronokla jugak. Tapi yela, kita ni bukanlah berpengalaman so banyak lagi nak belajar. Walaupun sekadar tangga yang dihias dan mungkin orang x perasan pun... sebab kenduri ni ada banyak elemen, tapi puas hati dapat menolong (sebab x tolong dekat dapur pun ngehehe....

Tapi yg paling best bila ada tetamu lalu masa sy tgh bekerja dan tanya, " Ada bukak kedai ke?". Haha... mintak maafla ye akak.... Sy dah ade org book sebagai future employee iaitu KKM. X dapekla nak bukak kedai.

Okay itu saje buat masa ini.... sy sudahi dgn ...

"Dan diantara tanda-tanda kekuasan-Nya ialah diciptakan-Nya untukmu pasangan hidup dari jenismu sendiri supaya kamu mendapat ketenangan hati dan dijadikan-Nya kasih sayang diantara kamu. Sesungguhnya yang demikian menjadi tanda-tanda kebesaran-Nya bagi orang-orang yang berfikir” -Ar Rum 21

One Perfect Rose

2011-03-04T22:39:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

A dear friend asked me to paint a vase of roses. I promised her my free time. But in the meantime my dear, this is for you.

One Perfect Rose

A single flow'r he sent me, since we met.

All tenderly his messenger he chose;

Deep-hearted, pure, with scented dew still wet -

One perfect rose.

I knew the language of the floweret;

'My fragile leaves,' it said, 'his heart enclose.'

Love long has taken for his amulet

One perfect rose.

Why is it no one ever sent me yet

One perfect limousine, do you suppose?

Ah no, it's always just my luck to get

One perfect rose.

-Dorothy Parker

Konteks tak disertakan ...

2010-12-13T23:19:00.002+08:00

(Aku menggenggam benih yang elok!)

Pada celahan kelikir dan suburnya gambut, disitu akar yang kukuh bisa terpaut.
Lalu dahan melentur dek angin, teguhnya dengan lapisan masa dan usia berlalu.

Pernahkah kau melihat, si pohon bonsai, lentuk liuk dahannya, di tangan manusia?

Tapi dahan pohonku ini...
bercabangkan kemungkinan.
Segalanya mungkin.
Segalanya mungkin tidak.
Dan aku hanya serahkan, ditangan Sang Pencipta.

- Disember 2010

How To Spare Your Loved Ones Heartaches

2010-11-23T01:40:00.005+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt and hye :)

Its been a while, everyone. I am currently happily doing my elective posting in Hospital S. (anonymous :p ). Beneath layers of stubborn lazyness and procrastinations (in revising), its actually nice experience. But thats another story. Lets go to the "meat" of this post. I have been away from medicine posting for about a semester. In this elective posting, Im back doing medicine. I seen a lot of chronically ill patient, and their loved ones also ( or more accurately, ones who love them.) in these few days.

Such chronic (long term) and severe illnesses, are such a toll (physically and mentally) not just to the patient but to their relatives. Imagine being bed bound, with oxygen mask on... seeing your wife crying by the bedside, but you have no strength even to sip a few drops of drinks, no mention to pat her back and say its all right (sometimes, its really NOT ALLRIGHT). Its not only your heart that is broken (literally or figuratively), but their hearts too.

I saw briefly today a doctor telling a wife about her husband's bad prognosis (outlook). There is not much that can be done, because the husband's condition is so bad. I was standing so far away so I cannot really see her facial expression. But I tried to appreciate whats running through her heads and whats swelling in her heart. I don't suppose its a very pleasant feeling.

The thing about getting sick or ill is, its true that, when it comes, you have to face it. And it happens. It may happen to you or just anyone. It may just be your bad luck, its in your gene, you may get into an accident... or be a bit clumsy.... However, be reminded that a huge chunk of maladies actually is preventable by simple gestures of everyday life.

Remember the TV commercial about the hazards of smoking? (Brilliant!!!! I hope it touch some hearts...)

"Don't break my heart.", in the end...thats what Im talking about.

Change your lifestyle :) . Bit by bit each day. make it a habit. Do it for the one you love and loving you. (Sorry and beware, Im in my "kempen kesihatan preaching mode".) For Muslims, even in Islam, the concept of "Prevention is better than cure" is evident, eg. Not doing things that predispose to adultery... (just see how messy the social problem it cause...)

How To Spare Your Loved Ones Heartaches (Health Edition)

Quit, reduce or never start smoking. Yes, it may lead to future heartaches... if the heartaches has not started yet; because yes... it might be annoying to family members/friends (maybe they don't say it or just keep it in..). Be kind. Be considerate.
Reduce sugar and salt in diet.
Exercise! Do small things first like parking a bit far and walk a lot, using stairs instead of elevators... then build things up. Remember to be istiqamah (to persevere). And keep in mind to have "Today better than yesterday, and tomorrow better than today." at the very least. :) Losing weight appropriately seriously can do wonders to reduce existing/future problems. (You look hotter too, haha... but please have healthy body image, ok. No need to be stick figure also.)
Eat good food. In Islam," Halalan Toyyiba" (Halal and Good for you)
Avoid accidents. This include having safe home/transport conditions, to drive safely, to wear protectives when necessary and stuff like that.
For Muslims please, no alcohol. But for those who take them, just remember that taking too much is not good. Love your liver!!!
Take good and enough rest. :)

So, thats all just for now. They are just the things that everyone knows but everyone don't do. There is a lot more, like please take care of yourself if you are ill/having conditions and follow the advices that were given for your wellbeing (eg: taking medications).

I have some personal view that, when I am not taking care of myself or inflict something harmful to self, eg: taking too much salt when I know it can give me hypertension or electrolyte imbalance (over2 plak) and further medical problems... its just like choosing a slow route to suicide. Slow... but still stupid and suicidal. And to do harm to self when you know it, I don't think is a virtue of a good Muslim.

So... remember that loving yourself is a part of loving the ones you love. Don't waste your years of affection and sacrifice, but still (in-a-way-uselessly-)sacrificing yourself in the end, when its preventable altogether.

Love,
Munirah

Post-exam = Post Ictal

2010-10-30T12:20:00.005+08:00

Its day 1 after POPPH (Psychiatry, Obs and Gynae, Paediatrics and Public Health) final exams a.k.a 2 weeks of horror with different discipline back to back everyday, the written, the OSCE and the clinical examination. It still feels surreal. I had like 101 plans for after exam, list of movies to watch, dramas to swoon, painting to finish and ATC (Artist Trading Card) to make, postcards and letters to write, places to go, cake to bake... haha... it might overshoot 101. But here I am blankly staring at the wall... oh I see a spider... lets add no 102. Cleaning my room.

For me, post-exam state is just like post-ictal state.
"Following a seizure it is common to experience feelings of exhaustion, both mental and physical, that can last for a day or two."
The symptoms are...

Depression (suddenly loss the "reason for living on" which is during exams, reading and practicing a lot.)
Loss of energy (energy supplies drained in 2 weeks of staying up and poor diet.)
Drowsiness ( "PILLOWS~~~")
Nausea
Confusion and inability to think clearly, specifically “poor attention and concentration, poor short term memory, decreased verbal and interactive skills, and a variety of cognitive defects specific to individuals. (what should I do???)
Hypertension and maybe migrain also, haha (coz thinking of your performance during exam and also the impending result).

Hurm, exam is also pretty much like an induced seizure ("abnormal excessive or synchronous neuronal activity in the brain" = READ READ READ READ READ...)... we know its coming but usually still manage to shake our nerves to the core. Lucky for me it only last 2 weeks, if not Im going to have "status epilepticus", which is life threatening!!!

Joking aside, Alhamdulillah Im glad its over. So, lets hope for the best my dear friends. I will definitely miss my POPPH group, and hopefully as Ayu suggest we can have some nice plans after the elective months. A reunion? Commemorating our entry into the last semester of our medical education? I do pray all of us will get the best result!

p/s- to non-medic friends, sorry for a slighly "medical" content.

Google it.

2010-10-04T13:52:00.002+08:00

Salam and hi,

I was messing around with youtube with my brother last night. See what we found! I know its an old video, but they are still good. :)

:) Have a nice day!

Good luck to all my friends studying for POPPH finals!

This is how it feels like...

2010-10-01T21:56:00.007+08:00

I was driving alone on a bridge across the sea. The destination unknown. Then I realized, the railings at the side of the road is gone, and the sea water has raise up to the point, it’s the same level as the tar on the bridge. I keep driving, afraid of falling into the sea. But the bridge had its own twist, it did a dip into the sea. In front of me I saw a massive pile-up from both directions. I can’t stop, I was going too fast. My car flew into the air, into the sea.

I opened my eyes, "I am drowning". I couldnt get off my seat, I was trapped in my seatbelt. I was just going to die.

I opened my eyes again, and sumhow I was free. I floated up to the surface. There are a lot of other cars, floating in the sea. Waves and tides came and crash, but I was saved. Somehow im flying up in the air. Perhaps there was a helicopter??? (deus ex machina much???)

But I was saved. Then somehow i ended up...in a different dream.

Secrets to Sweet-Talking

2010-09-14T22:23:00.006+08:00

Want to be a sweet-talker who can sweep anyone off their feet? Talk you way to success or achieving what you desire? It would be really convenient, isn’t it? I think it is an art that we can learn. (For some its natural???). However, sadly, in this post I cannot reveal the secrets because I actually don’t really know, hehe… Hey… do you think having sweet-tooth can help you better in sweet talking? Coz I have not-a-secret to sooth you aching sweet-tooth, dear chocolate lover friends!!!!

So, how about some Chocolate Chip Meringue Cookies, whipped cream and some chocolate syrup combo. SINFUL! So, off to the recipe which I alter a bit from “The Chocolate Deck” (for the recipe of meringue).

---
Part 1: Choco-chip Meringue Cookies

3 A grade egg whites (cool to saperate easily/ room temperature before whisk)
1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
Pinch salt
1/2 cup castor (or fine) sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
3/4 cup bittersweet/semisweet chocolate chips
1 tablespoon cocoa powder (I added for colour and taste)

So, first position 2 racks in ur oven. One at upper third and one at lower third. Preheat to 275 F or around 125 C. Line with parchment.

Beat the egg whites, cream of tartar, cocoa powder and salt. (Electric mixer at medium hi. However, I actually don't have it so i used whisk just now. Highly not recommended coz i think right now i get biceps hypertrophy of my right arm, ngeee...) The bowl u use is better be copper/stainless steel and very clean. Coz fat (even yolk residue) will cause it not to form peaks. Don't use plastic one coz fat can stick there. Continue till they form soft peaks. Then add sugar 1 tbs at a time and continue till you get stiff peaks. The mixture should looks glossy. If u take mixture in spoon and turn it upside down then it wont fall off. Then beat in vanilla. After that, fold in the chips.

Later using 2 spoons, heap 1 spoonfuls on the sheet. Bake for 30 mins, then switch the position of the rack and continue for 1 hour, or til light golden brown. Cool on wire rack for 10 mins, peel of from parchments and cool on racks. Later, keep in airtight container. Simpan for 1 week.

(Meringue can be eaten just like that. Its crunchy on outside and chewy at middle like marshmallow~~~)

Part 2: Whipped cream

Whipping cream in a box??? Then whisk (yeah kekuatan tangan lagi!!!) or just beat till just nice.
Or whipped cream in a can. Senang!

Part 3: Chocolate syrup

Go and buy. hehe... or if rajin, melt some chocolate over hot water.

----

Put in The cream in dessert bowl. Crumble the merigue on top of that. Then just put some chocolate syrup. If u fancy, snow some cocoa powder on top. Tada..... Cavity-inducing happiness!!!!

You can make ur own personal combo by putting brownies??? and fruits??? anything u want kan??? owh... the possibilities. Haish... why am I advocating something that will increase the workload of all doctors and future doctors... Hurm, so, don't eat this too much k?

Random Funny Stories

2010-09-02T17:12:00.005+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt....
I kinda translated it loosely from a japanese site. (using google translate)

---
Story 1:
My mom always put ice on her forehead if she have headache or fever. One night the feeling is unbearable, she walk into the dimlit kitchen and pull out a pack of ice. She opened the plastic and wrap it in a towel. The next morning she woke up next to some squids.
---
Story 2:
My brother was in junior high school baseball team. His coach once tell him, " You are our secret weapon." He is their best kept secret... kept for 3 years (till end of junior high).
---
Story 3:
I was trying to buy some cakes over the window of a cake shop. I was pointing, "I want this one, this one and this one." "Say the names", said the seller. "Yamada Hana", I said.
---
Story 4:
My maternal grandmother goes to the doctor and get a medication to put per rectal. Then she become puzzled. "Should I put juice in too?"
---

Happy fasting!

Mind Your Silly Little Tongue

2010-07-28T23:58:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt to all!

To my beloved OnG groupmates, all the best for tomorrow, May Allah make it easy for us, may our thoughts are well formed and flows perfectly. Take a deep breath and formulate your thought for a few second, and sail away!

Just to share a hadeeth that is actually connected to ayat 58 and 59 surah An Nahl... the ayat is basicly about old jahiliyyah people who feel so ashamed and grievious because they was bestowed with daughter and not a son, they feel so ashamed and and contemplate burying her.... What a thing to do to ur child... Being in OnG posting for 2 months (oh, how fast the time flew....), I appreciate that there are ppl who are praying day and night to get children because of infertility, and there are a lot of people grieving their miscarriages.. and there are 1001 things that can happen to a pregnancy. But these people from history practice such barbaric thing..... sad really...

But the hadeeth, it touch some other things as well...

(V.16:59) narrated Al-Mughirah: The Prophet salallahu alaihi wassalam used to forbid...

Qil and Qal (sinful and useless talk like backbiting, or that you talk too much about others);
asking too many questions (in disputed religious matters);
and wasting one's wealth (by extravagance);
and to be undutiful to one's mother
and to bury the daughters alive
and to prevent your favours (benevolence) to others (i.e. not to pay the rights of others: Zakat, charity)
and to beg of men or to ask others for something (except when its unavoidable)

(Sahih Bukhari, Vol 9, hadith No. 395)

Okay, just a simple random exam nite reminder. :)

The Lift...

2010-07-28T03:53:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Old song, old heart, new sentiment.

Hey...thanks.

A Baking Virgin... no more

2010-07-26T17:46:00.008+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt n hye....

The debut of my baking career is thoroughly pleasing me as my encouraging groupmates tasted the blackish "DARK" chocolate brownies. I'm lucky no one seemed septic looking after that. Still have to wait 1 day to count the incident of diarrhoea. But judging from the second round swarming mouths that waited while I was cutting the remaining of the pieces... I'm not picking up any enemy by making them taste this. I shouldn't, unless I was terribly bad. Conceived from Miss Adah's secret's fool-proof recipe, I have ensured that at least... it will be edible.

So Adah... great things are for sharing, right????

Let us rub off the secret in the name, and let the whole world try the goodness!

Ingredients
250g butter
1.5 cup of sugar (can reduce to 1 coz the choc is sweet)
3/4 cup cocoa powder
1/3 cup plain flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
4 eggs
chopped hazelnuts
chopped choc / choc chips

How to???
1. Melt butter and sugar in a saucepan over low heat. Stir until sugar dissolved.
2. Remove from heat
3. Sieve cocoa, flour, baking powder in a bowl. Add a pinch of salt.
4. Add melted butter and sugar and eggs and hazelnut and choc
5. Stir happily and pour into greated tin.
6. Bake for 25-30 mins or less, don't let it burn!
7. SHARE!

I hope Miss Adah won't saman me for this.

Last nite I've forgotten the baking powder. It was agonising!!!! Because after 2 years of knowing about this secret recipi I felt like trying and bought all the ingredients (out of memory.... which is obviously dwinding..coz ...) I forgotten to buy the baking powder!!! So after interrogating my front door neighbour and found out they don't have baking powder, and going down to my local sundry shop to find out they also don't stock baking powder... it started raining cats and dogs outside and I started to wish that it rains baking powder.

So I go back to my readings and case write up... until 11 at night a lightbulb flickered at the periphery of my dim brain. Amy got self raising flour = plain flour + baking powder....

There you go... operation started. I actually tweaked a bit and put some almond powder in the mixture. (First time baking and already into tweaking...) I used Tudor Gold cocoa powder... the taste is real deep. I put a cut bar of milk chocolate that actually melted... note to self, don't use that anymore.... Next time should add choc chips! And maybe white chocs and milky bar or sumthing... Wonderlicious!

Im sorry to those who fast tadi... Im planning second round in near future. Now I understand Amy's feeling when she just can't stop trying to make eclairs. Maybe Ill learn cupcakes next. Yoohoo!

This baton is my keepsake...

2010-07-26T01:55:00.005+08:00

If we are in a heartbreak relay, I would like to pass on the baton. I really would like to pass it… but why I keep holding on to it is beyond me. If I can hold to it long enough until the cycle breaks then perhaps this curse will be broken too. Then everyone will have their time to heal, and everyone wins.

Perhaps not everyone will win... that's just too optimistic of me. But I will have the keepsake, and that is the biggest win of all. Even for the price of being broken to smithereens.

Don't you think that a glass broken to smithereens, can still be broken again and again, to be crushed into dust, ground into powdery wisp....Don't you think that it will be more lethal that way? The way it can infiltrate the air you are breathing and cut you deeper and deeper...Oh yes, it can still be broken quite a number of time until you reach the core of its existence.

And the only way for that dust to become whole again is to find a point in space where it can gather and recollect every pieces... to welcome the warmth and the heat from the outside world that it never allow in before... to melt and to hold fast, one piece to another... Then perhaps the glass will become whole again.

Because there is so much warm and shining things in this world.... I won't frown or weep. And I have this baton for my keepsake, and that is the biggest win of all.

Kudoakan Syurga Buatmu....

2010-06-21T00:37:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim....

Untuk abah, yg budi didikan kasih dan harapanmu membesar dan menyuburkan kami...kudoakan syurga buatmu.

For you who are insisting to drive me 5 hours only to go home back by bus because im alone and so tired .... on ur birthday, and on this special day, and as I will always do, I pray that the heaven is for you.

Untuk ibu, yg budi didikan kasih dan harapanmu membesar dan menyuburkan kami...kudoakan syurga buatmu.

For you who showed us that age, time and family is nothing against passion of learning, striving and doing your best, on this day of ur graduation, and on all the days left in my life, I pray that the heaven is for you.

Looking for Cinderella...

2010-06-20T23:39:00.007+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt n hye...

I was burrowing my way into my closet, looking for my old jackets and muffler to hand them down to one of my cousin going to the UK soon ... when i found these ....

Hihihi...
They are not Cinderella's shoes or anything of sort... They are a just a pair of shoes and suprisingly matching handbag I got for my prom (bought saperately :p )

So i thought, since they are still kind of in a good condition, I only wore them within the count of my fingers, lets find a new owner for them. And as we were having a huge family event in my house (the house was filled with all my cousins, uncles, aunts and both my grannies) I might as well use this chance. (Oh... there's no ballroom dancing in the event...sadly?) So I took out the box and made an announcement...

"Hear here... For whoever can fit this shoe... you can marry... eh... silap... u can keep this shoes and the handbag."

And the shoe fitting session begin!!!!
Too big, too small.Some almost fit, but still, its a miss... [Even my larger-than-life younger brother also tried but he only managed to fit one of his toe.] Not of of the cousins can fit???? I guess, cinderella story is kinda plausible, haha....

So right now, I have the shoes in Penang, so anyone thinks she can fit the shoe, just come knocking to my door,kay?

-----------

This has made me thinking about the cinderella story too... what if...the story have some underlying meaning. (Some KBKK in progress.....) Like Little Red Riding Hood's story is actually to warn innocent but oblivious girls about the danger of strangers, who act nice and "familiar". Wolf = ppl who thinks not with their brain but their persistent Wolffian duct (which later developed) ... hehe.

Its a story of a guy who is searching for a girl who can fit a certain shoe! Did u fell in love with the feet??? (sumhow this remind me of Sheila's profile pic...) Kidding...

What I want to go into is... what if the shoe is not a physical shoe, its a certain characteristic that the girl has... like, ur shoe is different than other's shoe. Its like, A's shoe is.... she's kind, she's competent and dependable, she have a beautiful smile and she listen well.... And u may have same size of shoes but different style... like other ppl may have the same traits, but the individuality is still there...

And ur shoe changes with ur events, and increasing in size as ur feet size increases... this is just like how dynamic the personality is.

(actually the phrase, "try walking in someone else's shoes." is interesting jugak kn? In this one "shoes" = "condition/circumstances" the someone is in.)

So one day this guy meet this girl... and he kinda like that characteristics (the shoe), but he doesn't really get the girl's identity... and so, he go and look for someone with that's characteristics. dadadada~~~

okay, so back to cinderella's story... What if, the prince goes around his kingdom, and then found someone who can fit the shoe but its not the same girl (Cinderella)... will he marry her??? Haha...

Ill just leave this nonsensical post here.

Home built around you...

2010-05-23T21:30:00.005+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Today I was presented with the honour of spending some time with this good friend of mine. She's a wonderful person, and its been a while since I seen her I actually forgotten how good I will feel being in her presence. And today reminded me of why I like her so much at the first place.

They say that home is where your heart is. Its one of the best place in this whole world, where you belong.... where your heart will feel at ease, with Allah's mercy. If its a blessed home, God willing.

Well, I think being with certain people in this world also, will make ur heart feels like that... Like all the rotten and bad fluid in your heart seems to flow away in a stream....and the holes in your heart is filled with something really good. Your heart feel whole, and its as if a home is built right there where you stand. It doesnt matter where you really are then. Its a comfortable feeling.

(",)v ~~~

Why things happen to them?

2010-05-16T23:07:00.013+08:00

Assalamualaikum and hye...

Things happen to us for a reason. And thing happen to them for a reason too.

Some time ago, a grievous circumstances has befallen B. B was soo sad. B reached a dead end. But this dead end only exist in B's mind because that is the only road B knows. The map of B world has suddenly changes and the roads and turns B had familiarised before has seemingly disappear. B was stuck in the cul-the-sac ... it hurts too much to turn back and face the monstrous reality but there is no escape.

B can stay there, frozen in time and call the game quit.

But B decided to call for C. A friend...

C may not do anything much. C was just happen to walk within the vicinity. C haven't even been in that situation. But at least there is 2 of them... (and 2 is better than 1~~~~ lalala) So in the end, C managed to tell B what C knew... C's personal map! There was this narrow path that they can try! Or there is this bush you can cut down to make way. And B... you can always pray to be shown the way, or pray to be stronger! Perhaps... this is just the challenge for B to level up!

The 2 of them might not be able to cull the monster or tame it down.... but in the end... they did find some way around it...

So somehow... B managed to proceed with the journey....

Time passed... Now, character D comes into the picture. Along D's happy journey, D stumbled. Its D's personal dead end! Lucky for D.... B is within the vicinity! And B is more than ready to share the tips to escape the dead end...

And they journeyed happily ever after.~~~~

----------------------

Perhaps something happen to you, just so you learn so much to help someone else in the future. Maybe ur experience can be something inspiring...

And perhaps, your little help and contribution (as C have done) ... will go a long way rather than to touch a single soul ... but go on to benefit other in the future. Who knows! God knows!
A little act of kindness does goes a long way.

With a shared wisdom and truth ...
With the time spend to just being with someone ...
With some money you have given to buy a book a build a shelter, a lot of ppl can benefit!

Its not our job to see how far it will go, but to look for such opportunity. With sincerity, of course.

Lets make this world a better place!

Jigsaw Puzzle of Life

2010-05-14T01:22:00.006+08:00

Assalamualaikum and hye....

Sometimes something really bad and sad happened to you eg: Losing something or someone you really hold dear in ur life. Your life may change forever... You might think its the end, coz it shattered to pieces, beyond recognition...

"When your life shattered to pieces, its the time to play jigsaw puzzle...."

Really... you need to paste it together again. But its hard... coz you are missing pieces, and things are all over the place... and some things may not fit the way they used to be.

You may need your time, you might need help...

You might not get your old picture back... But life's jigsaw puzzle has a lot more dimensions to it compared to the one on cardboard... the one on cardboard only have one solution. Has someone already give you the answer to life's jigsaw puzzle? What is the end? We are given examples of ideal end... but as normal human we can only search for the best fit as we can... and i believe there are a lot of way to reach it, its a dynamic process, powered by the way you look at the pieces, and the pieces that you actually collected along the way...

So, frown not. The best answer is in you!

----------------------

Abah used to tell me to take things slowly, to pick the right pieces, one at a time....

"If we start it right,though we may not know how it ends,the jigsaw will fit in one by one.And at the end,walla!! u got this nice picture that can be framed to be shown to others as an achievement."

-------------FIN

Paths.

2010-05-05T21:55:00.016+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt and salam sejahtera~

Paths.

They say, in some point in life, you will come to a crossroad, and you will need to choose your path.

What if all ur life, there's only one "right path" in ur vision, a path well trodden but spiked with thorns and bushes, a path so dangerous you may fall anytime... but that is the only path you ever see...is it cause you would want to sit on that throne that lies in the end of it after seeing the waving regal kings and queens? Or because you think its an honourable paths for heroes or saints and you have what it takes? You feel you are lucky because everything seems to work out even though it is supposed to prick and tear you, but sometimes you survive as if the path is laid below your feet as you walk.... until you reach the steepest point of the climb you have ever been, looking back down the mountains...... into the plains and then realised how vast the world is and how many paths there is in the world, and you can at last see what is on top of other mountains and there's something that you would like more than the ways of your fantasy kings and heroes and saints?

Do you regret because you never consider to take the other path?
Or did you feel lonely because the clouds is too thick and you cant even see others walking by ur side?
Or are you too tired of climbing? Is it too much?
Or are you just losing ur faith as you see how slow you are progressing?

Will you go down and take that other path????
Will you be happy there? Is what you feel is just transient desire or your deepest dreams unearthed?

What will happen to the prayers that put the paths under your feet?
How will you pay for the lifts and rides....the ones you promised you will pay when you reached the top?
All the climb.

If you believe the journey is as important as the destination...will it still bother you? Does the spatial end matter? Or the sum of it all?

Maybe you can just bridge the two mountains... maybe it will lead to a different peak, like a never-ending pyramid, one block on top of another. The world is not only in 3d or 4d after all. Only He knows.

Between Today and Tomorrow~

2010-04-20T00:39:00.004+08:00

In the pocket between today and tomorrow...
I hope there may exist a day or a half or a quarter,
When everyone in the world will wake up and find everyone in their own world is themselves....
just for a day or a half or a quarter,
For I think it will change tomorrow... perhaps for a little bit.

[A Stem and 5 Leaves]: Hearties

2010-04-19T00:37:00.011+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt n hye all...

[Stem and Leaf 1]

Someone took me to dinner this nite...
That person said, "Remind me to give you something later."
"Okay"...

So we finished our dinner, laughing away over funny Mentor audition...walking to the car...
That person gave me this....

It was a pleasant surprise.... there were no ocassions. And it was a well thought gift.

"I saw U watch quite a while at the beads last time ...'nk beli ke x?' plus, U like anything green"
"Hey, You gave me all the plant or some je?"
"Haha... all ler."

I just feel like someone give me their heart. "Take care of it..." a meaning I attached to it.

People gave me their hearts before, they gave me their hope, and their trust.
As much that I said Im thankful... sumetimes I wonder if I really did appreciate them fully,
like they should be appreciated.
To this point of time, I still cannot say that I took care of them properly.
To this point of time, I still cannot say, "hey, rest assured, I won't let you down."
For that I am sorry.
Its frustrating.

Fundamentally I SHOULD be capable of all that.
Coz other people can.
Maybe because, I never reciprocate them fully.
I gave my heart, I laid my hope, i built my trust.
but I always keep a portion to myself....
a stupid blanked around to protect/defend the stupid ego?
Keep a bit so its okay if you lose it later... if you messed up...
Maybe thats why... you always lose it.
Coz you are EXPECTING it.

Have you ever loved, hoped and trusted fully?
Have you ever been truly thankful?
I should learn to do that STAT!

~~~~~~~~~~~
[Leaf 2]

The saddest thing to lose is not the heart of the one you love the most, or the heart of a friend you wish will never forsaken you, or the heart that you hope will shelter you.

Yes...the saddest thing to lose is not the heart of the one you love the most, but to lose YOUR OWN HEART.

Well, in case the person that you love the most is yourself, which is true most of the time... it is more tragic.

If you lose it dear, I hope you will find it soon. (",)v

~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Leaf 3]

Siblings fight. Jealousy. Rivalry. Misunderstanding.
Drifting apart...
In the end of the day, they may not realise there is a bond greater than the fact that they are always together...
but they always come together again.
At least 95% of the normal population. I think (hehe).

Who are the one who will stand for you when the world collapse against you?
Your "real" brothers and sisters!

~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Leaf 4]

Rasulllah s.a.w pernah bersabda bermaksud, " Seseorang itu akan mengikuti agama sahabatnya, oleh kerana itu, setiap orang dari kamu sekalian hendaklah memerhatikan siapa yang ia jadikan sebagai teman."
(hadith riwayat At-Tirmidzi, Abu Daud dan Ahmad.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Leaf 5]

Disebutkan Habib Abdullah bin Alwi al Haddad: Sabdaan Rasulullah s.a.w yang bererti: "Permisalan teman duduk yang baik adalah seperti penjual haruman misk (wangian yang paling mahal dan harum). Boleh jadi dia memberimu, atau engkau membeli wangiannya atau engkau mencium keharuman wangiannya. Sedangkan misalan teman duduk yang buruk adalah seperti tukang besi. Boleh jadi dia membakar pakaianmu, atau engkau akan mencium aroma busuk darinya."
(Hadith riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim dengan matan sedikit berbeza)

Bookaholic Anonymous

2010-03-31T23:23:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt and hye....

Is there any Bookaholic Anonymous support group out there? I need to refer a patient for help somewhere. Here is her condensed history...

[WARNING: This history may not be reliable as patient is currently in active stage of her problem.]

Presenting Complaint & History:
Miss S, a 23+ year old, (cute) Malay female medical student, admitted herself voluntarily for interview with a chronic history of "excessive need to shop for books".

Impulsive book buying since 5 years ago when she started getting pocket money from JPA. Started off buying bimonthly comic, graphic novels, novels, some self help and last year ventured to limited edition fan books / hardcover / first edition books (not hardbacks which cost less).
One severe episode of shopping spree involving going to multiple charity shops and buying at least 30 books in a week.
Even go to bookstores in foreign countries eg: Germany. And actually bought a german book.
Cannot walk in front of bookstores without feeling compelled to go in.
Once go in must walk trough all isles, check all bestseller and promotional books, buy at least one book or at least read through one whole book. If not done anxiety symptoms will emerge. Seeing new books from favorite authors will aggravate the symptoms.
(Primacy of Books) If given RM 30, will actually ask for another RM 5 coz novels usually cost around RM35. Rather buy books than shop for dresses/shoes/makeups.
Feels that the thought of buying book is so strong it takes a lot to resist it. However, it is ego-syntonic as buying books actually make her feel very happy, looking forward to reading it and not guilty. Do not feel annoyed when confronted about habit.
Have bookstore club card so she can get discounts...
Club card has increased the frequency of buying books.
Feeling depressed when cannot go to Bookfairs...
Preoccupied in thought of making money so can buy more books.
Go to bookstores to "cool heads / calm nerves". Buying books give more potent effect. Writing her name in the book give intense satisfaction. Finishing a book induce cravings for more.
Will try to read even in difficult light conditions eg: using handphone lights.
Read the first thing in the morning for as eye-opener. Using every single free time to read.
Reduce sensitivity to surroundings when reading. May forget to take meals. Can sit in one place for a long time and maintain reading posture. Residual neck pain after finish reading.
Withdrawal symptoms: No symptoms because never ever tried to cut down the "consumptions".
Intoxication: Dreams about book content, searching for fan-arts in deviantart, drawing fan-art, google author and new books.
Functional impairment: Financial difficulty (however no problem with Ah Long), relationship problems (read books when she can talk to family and friends.), compromising college performance (urge to read even in exam week resulting in mediocre results).
Loss of sleeping time at night as cannot sleep unless getting over a cliffhanger. Daytime somnolence and loss of energy the following day.
Impaired judgement: Difficulty choosing between reading novels and lecture notes / textbooks.
Insight: Fair. Know have problem but don't know what to do with it.
Have bookstores related fantasies. eg: Wishing someone in the family to marry a bookstore owner. Bookstores sleepovers.

This is one sick patient....

Management: Trial of psychological treatments before biological regime. CBT, psychoeducation, addiction caunselling... Socially, Bookaholic Anonymous.

Patient's opinion, "I don't want any of that... can you just give me "Financial Support" (under social management...)??? And for group therapy, I want to join Book clubs...."

END of interview as patient becoming uncooperative and agitated as she feel the urge to read her new Neil Gaiman book.

Disorder of Prematurity

2010-03-30T00:28:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt n hye...

One not so fine day, my dad msg me on facebook chat, " Can I talk to you about something?"
Messages like that, makes my heart skipped a beat each time.
Then Ill get some anxiety symptoms like palpitations, sweating, increase heart rate, inicrease breathing rate, butterflies in my tummy.
Just anticipating what he's gonna say.
Then you realise, its nothing. Its not that bad.
People can have panic attack just because of the way they think.
Because your thinking effects how you feel, how you behave, and what you will feel, physically.
Try to relax...
Take a deep breath.

Facing reality is always hard.
But most of the time you will be stuck in one place and not moving.
Like entapped in time, but time is wasting away.
And you feel hopeless, worthless, helpless, just because you are unable to face that one thing.
Just one thing and you are denying the prospect of wonderful future in front of you.
Pro and cons...
In the end, the answer is...
GET OVER IT!

~*~*~

He said, its all right to show to others, that you have managed things in a mature way.
I hope I did.
(The managing part, not the showing part.)
I made my choices, based on what I believe.
After a lot of thinking, that is... and hope for divine intervention.
For a sinful heart, is it able to make a choice without Your guidance?
Show us the rightful path, Oh Allah...

But what is mature, mind you?
Wiser than yesterday???
Wiser than them?
Wise enough to act upon ur wisdom???
To do the right thing, when it is the "rightest" choice available.

We make mistakes...
And one mistake can effect not only us.
but without it we never learns, even though it is possible..
but its not whats feasible for mediocre human.
So mistakes I make, to be wiser, to be more matured...
BEAR WITH ME.

~*~*~

Maturity is relative of the past...
Relative between 2 people...
As all the things in life, we just can strive to near perfection...
forever diagnosed with "Disorder" of Prematurity...
but its not that bad.

:)

Unless you regress!

Exam Nite Curry-in-a-Hurry

2010-03-28T23:04:00.005+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt n hye...

[WARNING: Don't cook this if you want to impress your future-mother-in-law. This recipe is not even approved by my mother...]

3 cloves garlic crushed (just whack em with ur kitchen knife)
1 red onion (cut anyhow u want, omit also can)
2 birds eyes chillies (cut... put more if you are a fan of minesweeper)

a pinch salt
1/4 pinch sugar (omit if u dont like)
about 1/2 packet dried coconut milk
about 1/3 packet curry powder
1/2 cup h20
(in practice, no need to measure them, just throw in)

A small can of Sardine (Ciken Brand or any brand u like)
random foodstuff in ur fridge (baby corn is perfect coz just need to cut few times...)
Rice cooked already (can do both at same time)

Put oil --> hot --> put onion-chily-garlic combo --> nice smell --> put curry powder --> put randomies --> curry powder looks ok --> put in sardine + the sauce and coconut powder n some h20 (no need to use hot water..)

Put salt n sugar.. Kacau a bit.... make sure api not to big... close the lid...

Go and read 1/4 of ur lecture notes... then check... if still x okay, read another 1/8 maybe... (if u are the kind that constantly refer to textbook... make it 1/6 lecture notes...)... if you have Checking-type OCD... i can't help you then.

Suppose to siap then... eat while ur lecture notes flashing at you using power point.

--------------------
All the best for exams!

No pet allowed~

2010-03-27T22:58:00.007+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt n hye all...

I think i want a pet.
I missed putting my cheeks onto warm, breathing, fluffy, purring beings...
Listening to tiny heartbeat and let my hand ride the tide and trough of respiration...
Just being there in the same room and feel contented with the silence, the lack of movement, but the little signs of life...
Life...
...shared...
It has been a while.

In this apartment you can't have a pet.
But then, going out in the morning, coming back late, keeping one home might make one depressed...

So I got myself a potted plant...
Lets take care of each other, okay?

-----------------------------

I think there was a brawl in front of the lobby of our apartment. There was shouting, then the police came, then the ambulance, much later...
A lot of passersby was watching. i wonder what has happened.
Maybe if i go to Psychiatric ward a new patient is admitted tonight... or maybe other ward..
What am i thinking...

-----------------------------

Me and my mom haven't get time to proceed with the story book for deaf kids project yet. But I manage to borrow her huge dictionary... hohoho! So I can just browse when I have time. My tablet at home has been having connection wire problem so I can't directly draw the signs into computer... which is more convenient and neat. I'll see if I can get a new one. My bro said after graduating and get job he will buy us the computer that u can directly draw on it. Forget the name. A lot in market already... My current dream is Wacom Cintiq. Okay, I know I don't have a lot of skills, so maybe a high end tool (high end ke???) is not worth it in my hands... i mean, i not worth it to handle such tools, hoho. But its good to dream, right?

----------------------

There are things making me thinks a lot about death lately. No, not suicidal ideation... I mean, death can come to us anytime, rite? The natural and the sudden ones. no one know when he or she will die... If I die typing this, you guys won't even have the chance to read it then. If I die rite now, there are a lot of people I want to apologize to and probably won't have a chance. If I die rite now, there are still a lot of things I want to say but I never do. Secrets may be buried with me, memories and feelings will linger. But what is the importance of that when you die... life of others will still go on. In sadness or happiness, you need to go on.

Of course, what u need to worry about is what you will bring to the hereafter....

Please forgive me if I its not fated for me to say it directly to you then. I'm sorry.

--------------------

Psychiatry rotation is coming to an end. I feel sad coz I truly enjoyed it. maybe its the lecturers effect, hehehe... I think I might consider going down this road... child psychiatry is just fascinating. But then again, I fall in love ever so easily... perhaps this is just a superficial kinda thing. There are a lot more cakes to taste, and I hope to be shown the perfect one to dive in for life... the path is still unwinding... there is still a long way to go (if God permits!)...

-------------------

Goodnite everyone! God bless u.

Pusat Serenti2

2010-03-05T02:56:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt and hye...

Thinking back, I don't have much more to say about the topic, I'll just throw some bits and pieces of thought.

Out of 300+ penghuni, 200+ are Malays. 30 Indian and 40 Chinese and 2 lain-lain... haih...
I particularly like how they tried not to allow them to be physically agressive to each other, to train them to control their feelings and anger so when they go out, they will less likely resort to aggression when dealing with things.
For eg: If you are angry or not satisfied with someone or want to report unacceptable behavior.... you have to write on a paper, just write anything...if you want to curse or what not, just write it all on the paper and put in designated box. Then it will either be resolved in meeting or personal issues will be dealt between both party in a session with therapist/staff present and the person with anger/dissatisfaction is allowed to let go verbally to the intended party in controlled environment. he is allowed to fume and speak till he is satisfied and the person in the receiving end just listen...coz the target is the angry one (teach not to be physical...). But the receiving person can say if he can't take it anymore, and maybe the staff will facilitate any discussion. in the end, they will resolve the prob, and life goes back to normal. (ideally)
Other interesting thing they do is the "punishment" if you do something major, called learning experience, you have to wear blue t-shirt that is different than others, and asked to do stuff like cleaning a huge pasu (kat air pancut) with toothbrush and everyone passing along have to stop and "advise" you about the mistake you made. This is like and effort to make u remember and ponder on ur mistake...and is carried out by ur peers.... ala2 raging tapi still kalau x dpt pengajaran gak... bolehla kene LE banyak2 kali lagik, hehe...
Other one is while waiting for hearing, if you did something wrong, you have to sit in a chair, facing the wall, outside the room so ppl can see you....does it make u ponder on ur mistakes? Im not sure, never get that kind of punishment before, selalunye tgk anak org putih je kene sit on the corner... dulu kat skolah kene berdiri luar kelas. And kat skolah menengah pun biase kene duduk kat luar kelas sebab x hafal similarities and differences time kene tasmi' kelas ustazah bahasa arab, hehe....
FIN-

----------------------

Don't believe it because I said it, believe it because its true.
Believe that I believe in you.
You can do it!!! ~(",)v

Layang-layang 2

2010-03-03T15:30:00.006+08:00

Dia selalu terbuai semacam layang-layang bertali longgar,
kelam-kelibut dipukul ribut,
meluru kemana angin menderu,
menjunam bila angin hilang????

Tak tak....

Sebab ada yang menarik talinya...
membawanya pulang??
Atau meneguhkannya supaya boleh memanjat tinggi ...
lagi lagi dan lagi!

Saving You (Pusat Serenti 1)

2010-02-26T01:23:00.006+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt..
----
Im not saving you, my dear. I want to, and I'm still trying but I can't; the only person who can save you is yourself, so I'm praying that you will be able to do it. I'll still be by your side all the time. Please save yourself.

---

Tolong org ni macam menarik kuda ke lopak air, kalau dia tanak minum nak buat camne kan???

Kita boleh baling pelampung kat org tu, tp kalau dia x dpt tangkap, atau berenang ke arahnya, x de guna jugak. Tapi then, external factor pun come into play, contohnya, kalau air tu sejukbeku macam tempat Titanic karam tu, atau org tu punye body pon cam dah nyawa2 ikan ke, ataupun jerung dah usha2... Ultimately, kalau Allah nak jadi, jadi jugak. Tapi kan result tu hak Allah nk kasi, yg jatuh atas kita tu usaha jugak kan?

Mcm org ckp, jangan kasi ikan, tp kasi joran n ajar dia camne nak guna. bagus la tu, si good samaritan tu dah fikir yang terbaik utk org yg dia nk tolong. Tapi kalau batang joran tu sendiri dia p buat perhiasan dinding jer, atau buang ke mana2 ntah... sedih aaa. Better dia wat jolok buah, walaupun salahguna sikit tapi adela usaha nak guna, mungkin dia agak degil tapi kreatif.

-----

Pagi tadi g Pusat Serenti Bukit Mertajam, bakal2 doktor yang tgh berusaha nak mendapat pentauliahan ni, tringin jugak nak jumpa "doktor2" yang x de tauliah, hehe. Bukan saje2, sebab professional jugak, nak blaja pasal masalah penagihan ni. Mase nak g, rasa happy, sbb excited, wat field trip, naik bas... cam back to school.

Sampainya di sana, pak polisi sambut, dah kene beratur bertiga2, chee, macam berdisiplin jer. X leh bwk kamera... (alooo....)

First impression, lawanye tempat ni. Walaupun dari luar nampak mcm penjara, tp bila dah masuk rasa mcm suasana penyayang jer. Ntahla, sebab pokok2 dia hijau and subur, banyak mural,pastu kat koridor dan titi gajah ada tulis nilai2 murni, rasa macam sekolah rendah yang bakal menang pertandingan 3K. Tapi takut gak nak menghadapi penghuni2, ya la, memang x boleh pre-judge atas stereotype, tapi sbb pakcik polis tu dah ckp suh hati2, caution kene ada di situ. Sebenarnya berdebar2 jugak, sebab tau kene clerk one to one harini utk practice amik drug history yg lengkap, elicit stressor yg menyebabkan dia nak amik dll.

Then, kami diajak join diorg nye Morning Meeting. Morning meeting ni sebahagian dari program Therapeutic Community yang diorg employ. Semua penghuni n staff dikira dan dipanggil "ahli keluarga". Kiranya konsepnya ialah mengamalkan kasih sayang and involvement of semua org, termasuk staff dan penghuni, untuk help diorg la, melalui amalan beberapa nilai2 yg diorg cuba impliment dan serapkan.

Contoh nilai:
"Seek to understand rather than be understood"
"Be careful what you wish for, you might get it"
"No free lunch."

Dari apa yg sy tgk, cara yg diorg pakai mcm cuba supaya nilai2 ni, ahli keluarga patutnya boleh ingat sampai bila2. serius, kalau sy kene cara tu confirm saya ingat, sbb mcm asik ulang2 tiap2 pagi. hehe... Tapi tu la, sedih jugak sbb success rate (kiranya, x balik semula kepada penagihan, cuma dalam 30-35%) ketegaq gak aaa...

Back to Morning Meeting, dia mcm perhimpunan pagi yang bermotivasi dan berdisiplin. Diorg boleh duduk, tapi x leh tunduk, or toleh kiri kanan. Duduk dlm sedia??? kot. Ada doa, then recite sumthing yg mcm ikrar, tapi touching la jugak. Then ada perkongsian falsafah/nilai harian oleh satu ahli keluarga. Ala2 tazkirah pagi la. Then, perkongsian masalah. Kat sini diorg x pakai nama, tapi dipanggil pakai "No badan". Contohnya (22/37) <--random je. So, ada ahli keluarga yg g depan and report contohnya, " saya ......, .... kasut saya digunakan oleh seseorang dari asrama ....". Then, org yg wat tu kene ngaku, bangun. Kalau x ngaku, satu asrama kene. Then bantuan akan diminta, semua angkat tgn, so 3 random ppl akan kene panggil ke depan, utk memberi bantuan aka menegur org yg wat salah tu depan2 sume org. First impression cam "ganas" gak aaa, ala2 kita kat asrama dulu kene torture ngan akak2 (uhuk uhuk...oh,kenangan itu), tapi agak positif, sebab diorg akan sebut kesalahan tu, then why its wrong, ape kesannya, reflect masa silam diorg, reflect falsafah/nilai/minda yg berkaitan. then diorg ckp, sikap ni ada gak pada saya, so kita ubah sama2. Kiranya ada format disitu, so, mcm ni la nilai tu patut masuk otak. dah ulang tiap2 hari, kalau x ingat, tataula. Kitorg sbgai pelawat pon cam dah ingat... Comel gak aaa masalah diorg, cam x tutup suis, pijak pokok, curi baju melayu, mcm kat asrama dulu, benda yg kita anggap kesalahan kecik, tapi impak besar, n menunjukkan masalah akhlak disitu....

(continue nnt ek???)

------
Assalamualaikum.

Aku Dalam Dingin Dalam Kelam

2010-02-10T02:49:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt dan salam sejahtera.....

Sedikit putaran kata, buat yang sudi merasa.

-------------------------------------------------------

Aku dalam dingin dalam kelam
Kala suria berlari tinggal langit hitam
Ternoda pada kata, terguris halus jiwa
Halus dari nyata persepsi sebelah mata

Aku dalam dingin dalam kelam
Bukan cuma gerhana menghijab mata malam
Dan kelip bertebar mencari putranya
Tidak tersedar terolah parasnya

Aku tetap dingin tetap kelam
Jika cahaya terbiar padam
Tapi sinar itu dari Tuhanku
Mencerah memancar memayungi aku.

---------------------------------------------------

Semoga suria dan purnama bisa mencari cahayanya semula...
Pada Allah terus terus teruslah kita berdoa.
Amin.

Food poisoning "song"

2010-02-08T19:41:00.004+08:00

Salam...
Just a feel an impulse to share this ridiculous "song" I stumbled upon in one manga,

"Its a cafe with a lovely tasting tea two of us (are) enjoying at the same time...
Enjoying the same sweet, two of us, together always,
But why am I the only one with food poisoning????"

Its supposed to be the "bittersweet feeling of love".

LOL~@

Story Books with Sign Languange "Translation"

2010-02-03T22:28:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt and good day everyone....

This means "Assalamualaikum" .

My mom has finished her Degree in Special Education and she had sign language course. As an assignment she had to make up a story as a schoolchild would, but she has to provide sign language translation of the story. I helped to illustrate the signs for that assignment. We included the full text of the story, and on the other page we arranged the signs and underneath the signs we indicate what individual signs means.

One day mom said that the might want to write children stories or adapt simple folk stories, translate them properly to proper sign languages like BIM (Bahasa Isyarat Malaysia)/ MSL (Malaysian Sign Language) or KTBM (Kod Tangan Bahasa Malaysia) and publish them as story books. I used to help her illustrate, so I was really excited to help with the signs, or perhaps we can include big colourful pictures illustrating the storyline too!

For my dear friends who have family members / friends who use sign language... (because they are deaf/mute/ just for fun)... do you think this will be helpful?

For the deaf/mute children, they can have fun reading stories with picture and still be encouraged to use proper language, increase their vocabularies and associate the words with the signs.
For educator, as a teaching tool.
For parents, can use to practice to sign, or can even assist in reading bedtime stories to child!
Friends and anyone interested also can benefit from the book....

(It all about education and improve signing skills but not just for the child.)

Or do you think, as a book is for reading, might as well let it contain just words... signing should be taught by action, not reading.......

Or do you have any suggestions? Or have you ever find books like this before???
Educators, any take on this?

Thanks for your support!!!! We are really looking forward to commence this project! (It will be in Bahasa Malaysia by the way.

________________________________
Some useful links:
Malaysian Federation of the Deaf

Lets learn a basic signs!
"Selamat Jalan" aka "bye bye"

Kebahagiaan~

2010-01-11T20:40:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Adela selak2 satu buku lama ni... adela sikit kata2 yang pernah tertulis pada satu penerimaan satu masa dulu.Dikongsikan.

---------------------------

Kebahagiaan tak hanya datang dari apa yang dimiliki,
atau dari nikmat yang jatuh ke atas diri,
tak juga hanya kerna kasih yang diberi,
atau ikatan yang dikongsi...

Tapi, baru saja kusedari,
Kebahagiaan jua dirasa,
dari ikhlasnya hati yang gembira,
atas kegembiraan orang lain...
Pada saat itu, kegembiraan dan kebahagiaan itu... milik aku juga.

-------- BD

Opthalmology Examination : Romanticised

2009-12-07T23:18:00.003+08:00

Girl: Look into my eyes, tell me what you see...
Boy: I see you, the whole of you... (general xm)
But can YOU see me? And all the beautiful little things around us? (Visual acuity)
Look here, look there, yeah, follow my finger... (Ocular movement)
You don't have to squint, do you dear? (squint)
For your eyes are lovely, the way they stare back at me. (exopthalmos/proptosis/sunken eyes)

She was shy, she lowered her eyelids. (ptosis/ectropion/entropion/swelling)
Then smiling faintly, battling her eyelashes. (eyelashes/ectropion/entropion)
One eyelash fell into her eyes,and it becomes watery and red. (conjunctiva/discharge)
So he came nearer, looking under her eyelids (foreign body, papillae dll)
And seen through her eyes like the glass on the window, so smooth, so clear. (cornea, no cloudyness, no ulcer)
Then deeper he went, like entering a new chamber, looking through a new angle. (Anterior chamber, depth, angle, clear, x blood/pus)
Where her blue iris greeted him (iris) into the blackish mystery of her pupils. (size, shape, PEARLA, RAPD)
She was staring sharp like lenses, focusing on him. (lense, phakic/aphakic,position,opacity)

Then he stopped, ,"Wait my dear."

He took out his opthalmoscope, and studied her vitreous humour and fundus. ( yeah, looking at her optic disc, retina, macula, vessels and all...)

He dumped her... too much pathology.

---------FIN--------

How do you like it?
Had fun making it, okay... back to reading for my OPTHAL final....
Wish me luck,kay? I mean, pray for me.

K.I.T.E : Strings attached.

2009-11-01T18:45:00.007+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt and hello to all...

[After few attempts to litter this site with scrambled words (yeah Im testing ur deciphering skills, my wise friends) , in both Malay and English alike, Im reverting to more easily understandable form. Hurrah!]

After we all have gone through our finals at the end of this term, Anne suggested that we all go for a kiting outing (not in financial term,ok?). To make our own kites. And fly them together. Maybe by the lovely Penang's beaches, where the wind is playful, or maybe on an open ground, where we can run without restrain. Without worries!

Kite...

Somehow it remids me of few scene in my childhood days. I was no taller than the windowsill, not even wiser than a cat. If I can show a playback from my cloudy and patchy memory, you will see Abah, Ibu, Ame, and maybe Iah (how old was her then??) in the large field in IPDA's grounds, where the grandstand stood, surrouded by 'saga' trees, across a river and a golf club. The sun must be bright then, but kind enough. How was the sky back then, was it clearer than it is today? I can't seem to recall. But what i remember was we played with plastic kites, they were white and there were picture of ultramanor spiderman or some mecha character in the middle. I think they were blue and grey and red in colour.

Abah taught us how to fly the kites, how to hold them during "take-off", when is the right time to release them, how fast to run, and how to tug the string slowly so they will rise gracefully,higher and higher, riding the wind. Back then, all we know was running around is fun, the kite in the sky looks magnificent and somewhat funny....

Little did we ponder, how many parameters needs to be right, for the kites to be able to fly perfectly, to go higher and stay longer in the sky. Its like a parent holding us, and nurturing us, tugging and letting lose, make us go against the wind and environment.... at the right time, and the right way. Its like the people in relationship, that needs to give and take, in order to advance and get to the higher level,somewhere more beautiful and wonderful, and all the time, holding tight on the string, not letting it go, or letting it snap.

It may snap sometimes, or maybe the wind blows in the wrong direction when we lest expect it, and the kite may plunge to to ground. Sometimes we have to repeatedly try to get the kite back in the air again, sometimes some repair is needed. Sometime the kite is stuck in the tree, and we need to fetch it back by all means. Some people just let it go... some people go and buy a new kite.Sometimes our kites collide and come down too.

Somehow its a lot like life, like how the kite flew in the sky and see so many things, oh, so vast the sky i want to fly to every ends of it, i want to greet every clouds, i want to know every birds. But we know they are certain limit to our life, the string, to guide us to fly safely. There's a limit. try to go beyond that and abandon your string... it will just lead you to your destruction.

Do you know when they fly kite like "wau bulan", in competition, sometimes people will glue grounded glass to the kite's string and if your string touch theirs, it will cut your string too. So, be careful! There's a lot of danger and not so nice people out there too!

Kite...

Its a simple creation, yet its ability to fly...I'm kinda jealous! I'm perhaps, still not wiser than a cat but Im flying my way now in my own sky, maybe not my own, Im sharing it with you guys...our playground. Only Allah knows for sure whether it will be cloudy or sunny or stormy tomorrow, but i hope we will all fly high together. And for the ones are guarding my strings, keep up your great work!!!! (^_^)v

Aku seorang stalker

2009-10-22T21:43:00.006+08:00

Mengintai mahkotamu...
kuselimuti, Seluas pandangan kau jelajahi...
duniamu, atapnya setinggi langit itu...
digapai...menggapai tercapai aku.

Terang pandang, tepi tak tercari,
Hilang siang, beradu jadi satu,
Rentas terus pantas jangan cari pentas...
Masih ada jajahan polan dan polan,
Ceritera dan berita, kata dan nada,
Rahasia, dusta, hikam dan cinta....

Antara langit dan bumi, di situ kamu,
Antara baldu dan biru, di sini aku,
mengintai pada mahkotamu.

(P/S- Ini bukan sajak sbb sy x reti tulis sajak. Ni kalau Saadah baca sure dia nak muntah. Oh, dan ade satu teka-teki.... siapa aku dan siapa kamu dlm mende ni? senang je..)

Happiness

2009-10-08T01:05:00.005+08:00

Happiness is not something you hold in your hands....

Its in everything you see, yet you couldn't really understand.
Its the air you breath, invigorating all the needs of you, yet you feel the chill, as death is dancing on you.
It the thing that runs in ur veins, infiltrating... it touches the whole existence of you, yet you dismiss it unless you bleed.

Its not something you need to search, to the end of the world....
Coz you world end when you end...
I pity you if it ends... before you realise, the happiness is in you.

Sole Night Eye

2009-09-04T22:25:00.003+08:00

Dead and reborn, oh my sole night eye,
again & again & again & again,
Shine bright, sleep dim, black on black.
The vain ones & the envies, they wish to be picked,
but blow in loneliness, disappear into nothingness.
Coz the only one that makes me want to fly,
is my faraway sole night eye.

~Unloved~

2009-07-15T02:08:00.003+08:00

Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not there...

Its just unseen,
unheard,
untouchable.

The moment it's seen it's polluted,
the moment it's heard it hurts,
the moment it's touched, it may shies away...

After all, you can't live without it.
The infiltrated you.

Its just destined, or hoping to be destined,
to be
Unloved.

A Very Special Day For My Very Special Abah

2009-06-21T00:21:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikumm wbt...

Today is a special day. But more special that, is the one today celebrates. My one and only Abah. Selamat Hari Lahir, and Happy Father’s Day. I don’t remember your birthday every year, but certainly I will remember your words. In everything that I do, till now, you have always provided me,(and 5 of us) with valuable advices. Its funny,but I took all your word “to heart”. Usually they are deep, even though you seems just say it in the passing.

Your passion to educate us, is something I adore most. Now I see “lessons” in every aspect of my life. All hardship is a training ground, all the nice memories are the ones I must struggle to preserve. When Im at the verge of breaking up, you remind me that its just a metamorphosis, and I shall emerge as a stunning butterfly. Just do things, be confident, deal with is…. Learn to manage, learn to mold into surroundings… When Im lazy, you reminded me, of what I want to be, what I want to do most. I… may be nowhere right now without your education, without your words, without your faith in me.

Abah tanye lebih2 kat cikgu tu, Iah pandang kerisauan.

The best thing is that, right now, you succeeded to do that while being our friend, by jumping into our shoes. To do the things we do… watch cartoons (You really did enjoy Tom and Jerry, right?), chatting, video conferences… and treat us generously to many wonderful places, many wonderful experiences.

Growing up, and watching my siblings growing up, I began to understand your philosophy in education. You instill strong basics, and let life experiences mold us. You trust us to go away… to learn. You let the elders to guide the younger. I used to feel dissatisfied, coz I thought I had it harsher when I was young. But then I understand, I am also a tutor in the family. I began to understand, the things shared, and the things to be discovered. Why you allowed this, why you say no to that. And forgive us for being rebellious sometimes. It can’t be helped. Sometimes message is lost during translation. It teaches us about communication too.

And thank you very much, for giving us a happy, loving family, a gift not everyone have. Thanks for keeping our family together, our house is really a sanctuary. Seriously, Im truly thankful to Allah for that. I know, that behind us, there’s a lot of unspoken things, things that we wont understand before. You must have worked so hard. We are sorry if sometimes we take things for granted. We never truly experience hardship, in my opinion.

Abah n ibu dapat parenting tips dari pasangan swan ni ke?

I know we have loads of interesting future that will greet us, but Abah, so far, you are doing such a fine job. Thank you for bringing us to this wonderful world. Thank you for caring, for loving, for nurturing us. Someday when we have my own family, we wont forget your everything you told us, and we’ll make sure, the next generation wont forget too.

You are, by far and forever, the most amazing dad I ever know. People may boast about their dad… but hey, they don’t get you. And I don’t want anybody else for a change. I love you soo much. I may fall in love, I may dream of a future family of my own, but you will always always be my most special Abah and you will always be important in our life. I may not be doing a good job now, I may still depend too much on you. You may still have to hold my hands, and Im sure I want to hold your hand forever… but I pray to Allah, may I be able to love you, and to do as much as I can for you before our fate ends, coz Im more than sure, I wont be able to repay you at all. Im sorry if I am not the epitome of a good daughter (malas n always trouble you) , but just know that I love you very very much.

p/s: Thank you to Ibu too. I might downplay your role in this post, because its Abah’s birthday special, but ibu…. You are my everything too!

P/ss: Exam tomorrow!!! Pray for me!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND HAPPY FATHER"S DAY

-ibu-muni-ame-iah-ake-aiman-

(naun pon tumpang sekaki)

Lets walk hand in hand forever!

2009-05-14T22:41:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt and hello! :)

Stumbled upon this song while browsing youtube.
Suki desu!

Dedicated to ppl who walk beside me all this while, and for those who dedicated to walk hand in hand with me forever! ARIGATOU!!!!

----------------------------------
Sakura (Cherry Blossom) by Funky Monkey Babys
Lyrics: FUNKY MONKEY BABYS, Kawamura Yuka
Music: FUNKY MONKEY BABYS , Kawamura Yuka

*Tears of gratitude are overflowing in my heart now
I want to protect you forever, forever
Cherry blossoms fall, they fall on us as we feel brand new
Let’s walk hand in hand forever, forever
Until the end of time…
I’ll speak from my heart now and tell you how I truly feel for the first time
I have these emotions, without any lies, only for you
It was so hard for me but I never showed it to anyone else
With you, I felt like I could shed all the tears I kept deep in my heart
From here on out, this path we’re walking on together
Will be full of happiness, sadness and many other things
But you’re not alone anymore because I’ll protect you forever
You gave me all this strength that I have now
(Repeat*)
How many times have we watched these cherry blossoms?
I want to see them again next year and the year after that
I want to see the future we’ve been building up together all this time
The spring wind blew gently and softly caressed your hair
Your smile is precious to me, I want you by my side forever
At first I only had my own dreams, but now I share yours
So my dream now is to protect you until yours come true
I’m sure we’ll fight sometimes, but we’ll make it through each one
Just making you happy is everything to me
(Repeat*)
As the days roll by me it feels like I’ll lose sight of them
But when I look at you a smile suddenly appears on my face
I’ll never forget that small joy
We met, we laughed, and inside our clasped hands
We softly, softly warmed our love
After winter, we started walking together on this path
Where the cherry blossoms fall forever, forever
Tears of gratitude are overflowing in my heart now
I want to protect you forever, forever
Cherry blossoms fall, they fall as we feel brand new
Let’s walk hand in hand forever, forever
Until the end of time…
------------------------------
Romaji:

*arigatou no namida ga ima kono mune ni afureteru yo
zutto zutto kimi wo mamoritai
sakura ga furu sakura ga furu atarashii bokura no ue ni
zutto zutto te wo tsunaide aruite ikou
itsu made mo…

ima hajimete uchi akeru yo boku no hontou no kimochi wo
daisuki na kimi ni dake itsuwari no nai kono kimochi wo
zutto kurushikatta dare ni mo misenakatta
mune no oku no hou ni tamatta namida kimi to nara nagaseru ki ga shita
kore kara saki boku to kimi ga aruite iku kono michi ni wa
ureshii koto kanashii koto iro iro aru to omou
dakedo mou hitori ja nai boku ga zutto mamoru kara
sonna tsuyosa wo kureta no wa zenbu kimi nan da

(Repeat*)

futari de miru nankaime no sakura darou? mata rainen sarainen mo mitai yo
ima made kore kara mo ashita kara mo tomo ni kizuki agete iku mirai wo
yawarakaku fuita haru no kaze ga sotto kimi no kami wo nabikaseta
sono egao ga itoshii zutto boku no soba ni ite hoshii
moto moto hitori dake no yume datta hazu ga kimi no yume mo kasanatte
sore wo kanaeru tame ni kimi wo mamori nuku koto ga ima no yume ni natte
tama ni wa kenka wo suru koto mo aru darou
demo hitotsu hitotsu nori koete
tada kimi wo shiawase ni suru koto ga ima no boku mo subete

(Repeat*)

nagasareru hibi no naka mi ushinai sou dakedo
futo kimi wo mitara nanigenai egao de
sonna chiisa na shiawase zutto wasurenai kara

kimi to deai kimi to warai tsunaida te no hira no naka de
sotto sotto atatameta omoi ga
fuyu wo koete aruki dashita bokura no kono michi no ue ni
zutto zutto sakura ga furu

arigatou no namida ga ima kono mune ni afureteru yo
zutto zutto kimi wo mamoritai
sakura ga furu sakura ga furu atarashii bokura no ue
zutto zutto zutto te wo tsunaide aruite ikou
itsu made mo…

Ntah la....

2009-05-09T23:31:00.002+08:00

Salam.

Sebelum rest, ade satu citer sedih nk dikongsi.

Satu hari lepas balik kolej, sy pon berjalan naik tangga nk balik umah. Terserempak ngan sorng makcik dan anak lelaki kecik beliau. Tengah turun. Adela 3-4 tahun kot budak tu. Budak tu nk makan lepat pisang ke kue ape ntah. Makcik tu dgn motherly-nye, bukakkan kueh tu, dalam pembalut daun pisang.Happy gak aa tgk-kn? Sweet jer.

So sy pun naikla, balik umah dll...

Esoknya. Sy pun nk turun la, nk g kolej ni. Lalula kat tempat nampak makcik tu semalam. Heartbreak tol bile nampak pembalut pisang tu atas tangga. Sedih gak aa tgk-kn?

Sbb makcik tu lupe nk ajar anak dia, x leh buang sampah merate2.
Mungkin mak makcik tu jugak lupe nk ajar makcik tu pasal tu kot.
Tak pun nenek dia x ajar mak dia.
Kesian betul.

Masalahnye, yg kesian bukannye makcik tu n anak dia je. Anak2 n keturunan diorg jugak.
Pastu, menyusahkan org kene kemaskan. Sian jiran-jiran dia, termasukla sy.
Pastu, kalau kuman membiak kat sampah tu, kang org lain jugak sakit.
Pastu, kalau ade org terpijak jatuh tangge, ha, sape nk jawab.

Ntah la.

Org lain sume pk masalah global warming ke, swine flu ke, politik negare ke....
Napela aku nk serabai pasal ni kn?

Hahaha....

bende2 besar tu....dtg dr bende2 kecik aaa. kn kn kn?

Pastu bende kecik camtu, patutnye mak die ajar.
So, sempena dgn area2 org tgh rase lovey-dovey ngan para ibu sekalian...
disini diingatkan kepada para ibu...
ajar anak elok2!!!
ok?

And for those who has done wonderful job, tahniah!!!!
-------------------------

Ni bukan nk menyalahkan para ibu sekalian. Sy yakin banyak lg environmental factor yg len boleh mempengaruhi. Citer ni hanye diputarbelit untuk tujuan dramatik.

Anda suka tak berkawan dengan murid khas..?

2009-05-04T00:01:00.001+08:00

"Anda suka tak berkawan dengan murid khas..?"

"Suka, kerana murid khas sama macam kita bukan sesiapa."

Assalamualaikum wbt dan selamat sejahtera sahabat2...

Apa khabar ya kalian? Moga Allah sentiasa mempermudahkan perjalanan kalian menempuhi hidup, kerarah keredhaanNya jua.

Dulu, banyak saya paparkan cebisan2 kata-kata hikmah. Kali ini saya hadir untuk memaparkan beberapa untaian kata yg lahir dari hati-hati kecil yang belum dicemari. Aduhai... sungguh skema sekali, mengapakah?

Sengaja saya mahu kongsikan beberapa dapatan dari kajian bonda tersayang untuk projek universiti beliau. Beliau menjalankan cerapan terhadap keberkesanan program pendidikan inklusif terhadap kanak-kanak istimewa yang merupakan pelajar dari kelas Pendidikan Khas Bermasalah Pembelajaran. Kanak-kanak ini selalunya dimasukkan ke kelas PKBP kerana ada masalah seperti Schitzopherenia, autism, hyperactive, Down syndrome dan macam-macam lagi. Untuk memberi peluang pembelajaran yang sama-rata dengan sahabat-sahabat mereka yang ditakrifkan masyarakat seperti normal, kanak-kanak ini diasuh dan kemudian dinilai untuk ditempatkan di kelas aliran perdana (kelas biasa). Jadi, mereka pun boleh cuba belajar mata pelajaran KBSR dan diharapkan boleh mengikuti peperiksaan UPSR.

Salah satu tujuan lain juga untuk mendedahkan kanak-kanak ini kepada tatacara sosial kanak-kanak biasa di bilik darjah. Selepas ini saya akan kongsikan beberapa jawapan murid biasa (darjah 4 dan 5) terhadap soalan, "Anda suka tak berkawan dengan murid khas di kelas anda?"

TIDAK SUKA

"Kerana saya takut diganggu."
"Kerana dia suka membuat bising."
"Kerana dia nakal."
"Kerana selalu mengacau murid-murid lain membuat kerja."
"Kerana ia selalu mengganggu saya."
"Kerana dia sangat mengada-ngada."
"Kerana murid khas memang nakal."

"Kerana tak kenal sangat."

"Saya tak kawan dengan dia tapi saya akan membantunya."

"Kerana dia lelaki saya perempuan." <-- cute! SUKA

"Kerana dia pandai."
"Kerana dia pandai matematik."
"Kerana dia pandai cakap Inggeris."
"Kerana dia suka baca buku."

"Dia selalu buat lawak"

"Baik dan tak ganggu orang."
"Kerana ia selalu membantu saya."
"Kerana dia berbaik dengan kita apabila kita berbaik dengannya."

"Saya tak pasti tapi suka melihat mereka."

"Dia lebih istimewa daripada kita."
"Sebab dia murid yang istimewa."
"Kerana kita mesti berkawan dengan murid pendidikan khas."

"Sebab dia boleh belajar bersama-sama."

"Kerana saya simpati kepada mereka yang sederhana."
"Sebab ia murid memang istimewa. Dan ia seorang yang sederhana."

JAWAPAN PILIHAN (Sbb budak ni jawab dengan jujur, tapi kelakar.)

"Kerana murid kelas khas boleh menggembirakan kita. Saya rasa simpati pada mereka. TAPI saya suka berkawan dengan kawan-kawan saya."

"Ya, saya SUKA berkawan dengannya sebab dia degil, selalu tidak menyiapkan kerja sekolah dan sebagainya." <-- adik ni salah ckp ke?

"Kerana ia suka mengacau murid-murid untuk belajar, melastik kawan dan menjawab dan baling pemadan kena kawan dan baling batu sampai berdarah tangan kawan." <-- adik ni melepaskan geramnya setelah sekian lama terpendam.

"Saya tidak suka sebenarnya saya suka murid pendidikan khas tapi sikit-sikit." <-- cute!

"Saya tidak suka sebenarnya kalau murid khas masuk ke kelas kami. Jika masuk ke kelas asal saya suka."

"Saya tidak tahu yang cikgu suruh." <-- budak ni x paham soalan, hahaha

"Sebab dia baik dan suka berkawan tetapi degil dan nakal."

-----------------

Itu saja sebahagian jawapan yang ditulis oleh adik-adik kita. Banyak kesimpulan yang boleh diambil bagi tujuan kajian dan baik pulih program ini. Tapi yang ingin saya sampaikan ialah... ntah la... budak2 ni mmg cute.

kn kn kn???

Or was it you?

2009-04-22T17:12:00.000+08:00

Creaking rusty gears,
revolving pedals,
Tires cutting puddles into two,
Fallen leaves infusions,
Last night it poured,
That day was it sunny bright,
Or was it you?

Kejora Melambai Hatiku Pergi [Pantun]

2009-03-10T04:38:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt....

Its my second nite in Malaysia already... circadian rhythm still x ok.
So, I dig in my junk and found an old pantun. originally written in form 4, to remember a friend who moved away from our school (Afni from TAHAP)...I think it kinda suits the mood tonite. So, this is now dedicated to my friends back in Dublin...

Pantun 13 kerat, yang dikerat2 lagi menjadi ketulan kecil. (bite size)
(Warning, its a pantun from a pantun-dummy, so pardon any wierd verses)

---------------------------
Melata hujan semai bersemi,
Adat memburu rumpunan rumpai,
Merata hujan menyubur bumi,
Adat bersatu ada bercerai.

Adat memburu rumpunan rumpai,
Bila rumpai melitup paya,
Adat bersatu ada bercerai,
Bila sampai jua masanya.

Bila rumpai melitup paya,
Jauhlah ikan dara menangguk,
Bila sampai jua masanya,
Jauh rembulan dari si pungguk.

Jauhlah ikan dara menangguk,
Sayang tembakul tiada dimakan,
Jauh rembulan dari si pungguk,
Tetap bintang tiada di jalan.

Sayang tembakul tiada dimakan,
Sebab terasa sakit di gigi,
Tetap bintang tiada di jalan,
Sebab kejora di langit tinggi.

Sebab terasa sakit di gigi,
Ayam tersohor lupa disabung,
Sebab kejora di langit tinggi,
Sudah dilentur darinya rebung.

Ayam tersohor lupa disabung,
Terbit suria berkokok mati,
Sudah dilentur darinya rebung,
Terbitlah buluh cocok di hati.

Terbit suria berkokok mati,
Natijah tuan berhati alpa,
Terbit buluh cocok di hati,
Walau ke mana tetap serupa.

Natijah tuan berhati alpa,
Lupakan rumah hingga ke pagi,
Walau ke mana tetap serupa,
Kejora melambai hatiku pergi. (original verse... Kejora melambai Afni pergi.)

Lupakan rumah hingga ke pagi,
Fajar nelayan terbit di sampan,
Kejora melambai hatiku pergi,
Ada pilu ada harapan.

Fajar nelayan terbit di sampan,
Semoga nyiur melambai seri,
Ada pilu ada harapan,
Semoga sudi tinta menari.

Semoga nyiur melambai seri,
Puputan bayu darinya desa,
Semoga sudi tinta menari,
Puputan rindu anginan rasa.

----------------------------------

Have a good study years in Dublin my dear friends,
you will always be in my heart.
For my comrades...
selamat berjuang!!!
For my brothers n sisters in Islam,
May Allah Bless you journey...
And may our path in search of Allah's blessings,
intersect again one day...
InsyaAllah.
Amin.

~25 Randomised Thingies~

2009-02-10T04:36:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Im not very good at this, but I decide to honour Aida's tag.

~~~

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you! (:

1. Easiest way to kill me is to push me into a river... or even a swimming pool.(not the kiddy one, thats too pathetic). [Ill update this when I can actually swim.]

2. My best pictures are the candid ones. Or natural one. I just dont know how to smile in front of camera, so ull be getting either huge grin or very seroius face.

3. My current favourite food = O.R.A.N.G.E.S . "Bila orange bertemu Munirah, maka umurnya x panjang." Oranges here are nice, juicy, sweet and big, and my favorite ones are from Pakcik Olive, 3 for Euro 1.70. I know they are not that cheap, but i can gobble up all 3 in one go and will happily endure the diarrhoea later on.

4. Im falling in and out of love with my d70-kun. He's fantastic but very unpredictable. I wish I know how to handle him better. Its really depressing getting blurred pictures.

5. Nickname time!!! "Muni" is common, "Chunky" is from high school (after peanut butter), "Che' Ton" from primary school. IMAM ppl started spelling my name "Munni" which i like a lot, and some called me "Mun". I always introduce myself to Irish as "Moo-nie", with cow mooing sound. I really2 like people calling my name full, like Asrih and some boys from high-school.

6. I really2 wanted to sew a denim kimono right now. Too bad i dont have sewing machine.

7. I L.O.V.E anime!!! Currently following Kuroshitsuji. Abselute favourite is Toki Wo Kakeru Shoujo, Byousoku 5 cm (and most Makoto Shinkai's works), Fullmetal Alchemist. I accept almost all genres, fighting (Bleach), vampire (Vampire Knight), ninja (Basilisk but x Naruto fan maybe coz i dont follow it), romance (Honey n Clover is nice), modern (Dennou Coil is fantastic!!), whateverness ( FLCL is amazing, I really2 love the art), or cute (Chi's Sweet Home).

8. I wanna have a close-friends-only Japanese themed wedding reception later. if you think you are gonna be invited, hehe... start looking for a costume right now, hahaha!

9. My dream house includes a cosy library (Im collecting books) , a studio for my "art-attacks", a music room, a rememberance room where all my sentimental junk goes... Abah said Im gonna need a huge house. (add a built in boling alley too)

10. I like tea and coffee black... I cant stand them mixed with milk/creamer. But plain milk is my favourite too. Just dont mix them. (Always have to be polite and just drink if I become a guest.)

11. Im not a social butterfly. I dont usually talk unless talked too. So, please start the conversation. i always look severely unfriendly, but once I cracked few jokes, its a good start.

12. I regretted registering "Munirah" as my middle name in UCD because then my first name is just Shahidatul (as appearing on teacher's list), and its kinda hard for people to pronounce it. If I say Im Munira... they cant find it on the list.

13. One of heavens on earth for me is library, or bookstores. I went to bookstores even in Germany and Paris... even if i cant understand. Books are really nice, and the best moment is writing your name on the newly bought book. Oh~~~ (got a huge book of Sherlock Holmes stories from start to finish, bounded limited edition only 4000 in the world!! and mine is number 0888, nice kn?)

14. I guess one of the effect of having my second name (Witness) as a name is I witnessed a lot of things happening to my friends... not directly on me. But they all give me big impact and loads of things to ponder.

15. I love love love video editing and picture editing even though Im not that good and I dont have that much time. I use Adobe Photoshop (My first program was Corel Draw)... and Sony Vegas right now. Im aching to use Adobe After Effect but I dont think my ol lappy can handle it. I wish to learn Adobe Illustrator to make some vector and line art. Perhaps later.

16. I was wondering how my life will be if i choose art instead of medicine. I always have this dillemma about it. But I guess, where Im now is the best, and maybe the interest and some gift was given so I can do more than being an ordinary doctor. Im gonna figure out something extraordinary to do with my life.

17. I dont know what to answer if people ask "Awk org mana?", as in negeri ape. Coz Im born in Pahang, raised in Kedah, now moved to Selangor n stay there, and spend 5 years schooling in Pahang, but still... I acquired the element off all those states but dont really know where i belong. So I usually say Im a Malaysian or "I live in ---".

18. I really2 love cats but he's kinda, "allergic" to them. Cats are cute! And best part is their paw. Oh, Im gonna dedicate "Kuroneko no Tango" to all cats in the world!

19. I love to coin terms, and love it even better when people use them. For example "bottomless stomach", "Jalan Red Riding Hood" (a path in UCD) , "kuda kepang"(used in anger).

20. Dont wear wristwatch but need to start soon, coz in clinical years we need to count pulse la plak.... who wanna sponsor my watch? Please~~~

21. Romantic vs practical? Hopeless romantic. So, between a hallmark card and a some crappy poem at the back of paper napkin? definitely crappy poem, hahaha.

22. Loves blood very very much. I used to stare at my own wounds (eg papercut, falling wounds) and observe the blood flow or dry or clot. And blood red is really2 beautiful. But no, i wont bleed you death for my pleasure.

23. My handwriting is a disaster. I cant even read them sometimes. (ke most of the time???)

24. Stairs, particularly spiralling, uneven or misshapen and tall like in batu caves, is not my favorite.

25. Im a lazy lazy medical student. Slap me into reality...

~~~~~~~~

Back to reading neurological examinations!

~25 Stars That I Noticed Recently~

2009-02-09T08:00:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

I've been noticing this 25 things about you tag going on facebook recently, and its very interesting to get to know my fellow friends. I wasn't tagged, but I just like the spirit. So I'm doing mine, as a single drop of water in a barren land (refering to my blog) ... coz i havent been posting anything useful for a while.

------------------------------

If Im a moon (Im Mun alraito!), then Ive been revolving for quite a while. I may fall to earth soon, or engulfed by the sun, but the future is only on the "hands" of The Almighty. To reflect the brilliant light from the sun is my task, but to be floating in this wonderful world, surrounded by stars... I wondered how many stars I have been ignoring, due to sheer huge number of them. But the stars... they are there, shining. Rahmatan lil alamin...

So these are the stars that caugh my attention recently. I hope me pointing will make them shine on you too!

1. Trust Allah fully on His plans for you. Coz He knew the best, and who are we? Maybe you detest something, but He know its the best for you.

2. Have a big heart. Lower your ego. Have a heart big enough to be adviced by your fellow sisters/brothers. And have a heart big enough to give advices because you love your sisters/brothers.

3. Do Zikrullah a lot. One type is the "chanting type". The other is simply remembering Allah in all things that we do. This will constantly save us from any danger of sins. ie. ur waking up and remembers Allah... surely this will effect your decisions of whether you want to skip school or not. Allah ask yourself, will He approve this actions?

4. Judgements of a mortal definitely and utterly means nothing compared to judgements of Allah. For that only His standards should prevails. Cleanse your hearts from bad-thoughts towards others.

5. We always let time flies and regret things we have not done. Time.

6. Allah tests you because He loves you. Turn back to Him. Wept and crumble only in front of Him.

7. Walk through Allah's test with increased iman, and hikmah, and His redha, not with accumulating sins.

8. Muhasabah.

9. Dont judge people by their age or seniority. I have learned a lot from my juniors, and i respected them.

10. Pray. For our brothers and sisters, for your family, for your troubled friends, for yourself... for everyone you care.

11. Back to no 1 actually, me and my friends have realised so many events, that was unexplained (hikmah wise) and unbearable.... was actually arranged in a way that is very purposeful. Only He knows.

12. Dont make decisions when ur drunk or intoxicated... in love, in wrath, so-on.

13. Mad people say stupid things. Both type of mad. (wrath and insanity). I guess thats why the share the name. Thats why we have hadith to ask us to cool down when we are angry, and hadith forbiding us from getting mad.

14. Be confident and trust yourself. Ive seen this star again and again... hard to digest, haha...

15. Love is a cold type of flame. It entice you with its beauty, when you're inside you are engulfed. Be warned, that without guidance, it can burn you someday in the fire that we all fear. To exercise cautions.

16. Never take "collateral friends"... meaning, become friends just because of someone else, not because of the person itself. So when you need to, be a true friend.

17. An enemy's enemy is not necessary our ally.

18. Check your niat all the time.

19. You might be selfish. Check yourself.

20. Every little helps. That's Tesco's tagline. (every penny you spend... will help who? fill in the blanks.) By yeah, even the smallest deed, even if we know wont "change the world"...will change the world!!! seriously! (i noe this is very complicated, try to understand me.)

21. Be grateful for everything. Be grateful for the nice things, be grateful for all the hardships. be thankful you are hurt. be thankful you are allowed to be thankful. (just imagine we are in those ungrateful categories, nauzubillah!)

22. Being contented is one of the way to be thankful.

23. Your parents or your seniors or just a very concerned friends may sounds nagging... but usually they stops you from being stupid most of the time.

24. Your friend is a reflection of yourself...your spouse too. (He/she is your best friend!)

25. Stars are too many to count. You may not realise each and every one of them. But verily... they are there to guide you, to colour your nights and days (they are there but you cant see em!)... Look out tonight for your very own stars. i suggest you find them before you sleep. (counting them can help your insomnia too!)

getting passing no 10 was tough. But after that I think that I cant stop! So maybe I might do this again. Hahahaha!!!!!

For a moment, I wish midnight doesnt exist...

2009-01-28T08:07:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt and hye...

Just got back from a wonderful date with my girlfriend Aisyah. Its been a while, and I havent been paying attention to my girlfriends recently. We're heading back to Penang for PMC, and the remaining time in Dublin ticks away as Im typing. It feels really sad to walk home alone tonight.

If time if something we can buy... I would spend a lot already. But its something we got on loan... its not ours. We are suppose to pay for it too actually, by living each moment to whats its meant to be lived with. And thats the hard part.

Whatever....

----------------------------------------------------------

I just realised Aisyah tagged me. Yayness... Thats the first tag for me. *sobbing in appreciation, haha*

What is the relationship of you and her?
She's my girlfriend.

Your 5 impressions towards her?
1. She is hot. Seriously.
2. She has her point of view, which i really respect.

3. She will stand up for you when ur in trouble.
4. She's strong.
5. She loves her girlfriends soo much. That means she loves me. *awww*
The most memorable things she had done for you
She listened to me when im being stupid over ... well .. something.

The most memorable things she had said to you
is to trust Allah fully on our destiny, and He knows the best.

If she becomes your enemy, you will…
not believe it.

If she becomes your enemy, the reason is…
no she wont.

The most desirable thing to do on her is…
hurm... draw henna on her hands.

The overall impression of her?
A great girlfriend.

How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
A bit annoying, or trying too hard or too little.

The character of you for yourself is…
arty. ( showily or pretentiously artistic.)
The most ideal person that you want to be is…
myself, haha... (narcissism???)

For the people who care about and like you, say something ABOUT THEM.
You are the greatest! Thanks for caring even at risk of having your heart broken or scarred.

10 people to tag
1. Saadah
2. Intan
3. Naun
4. Aini Shamsi
5. Liyana
6. Kak As
7. Kak Farhana Hamzah
8. Laili
9. Kak hannah
10. Kak Hannah

Who is no. 2 having a relationship with?
hu... misterious desu

Is no. 3 a male or a female?
Male.

What is no. 1 studying about?
Medicine.

Is no. 4 single?
Tatau.
Who is no. 5?
Rumate aka mom-in-law.

Say something about no. 6?
senior yg sgt sweet.

Back-biting

2008-12-21T21:42:00.000+08:00

They'll always say
things about us
things that untrue,
things that unjust.

Stinks in the air,
Swirling of hate,
Meat between teeth,
bleeding our tears.

Who are they to judge,
but then, who we are,
are we the same?
Are we the same???

Auction for Charity Week : Handmade Garden Themed FIMO Penholder [ENDED]

2008-11-24T09:09:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum wabarakatuh and hye to all....

To Dubliners.... Have you joined the wonderful street charity collection (FOSIS) already? It was an awesome day for me, so come on guys, support the good cause. Its still on! Its for the orphans. Check it out here.

Oh, and if you dont have time, but still want to contribute, why not join this auction for a lovely ....

Handmade Pen Holder: Garden Themed: Charity Week Special Edition

[CLOSING BID : Euro 115.00]

Those pens are for illustration purposes only.

So, how will this auction works...
I'll set the minimum bid to Euro5.00 (no I wont take a cent, full amount will go to Charity Week).
You can send your bid to this number 0857732182 or buzz me on my personal Yahoo Messenger (for those who know me). I'll keep you anonymous but I need to know who you are.
I'll try to update the highest bid as frequently as possible on this post, and on my ym status, or i'll tell you you have been outbid on the sms.
Bidding ends at 2400 28 November 2008 aka 0000 29 November 2008.
Payment and item delivery option (hopefully by hand) will be arranged between me and the winner.

________________________________________

Happy Bidding!

________________________________________

"Take sadaqah (alms) from their wealth in order to purify then and sanctify them with it, and invoke Allah for them. Verily,your invocations are source of security for them, and Allah is All-Hearer, All Knower." (translated from 9:103)

_____________________________________

Disclaimer: I hope everyone can join this with good intention of trying to raise money for the orphans, so hopefully our niat is not to get the item only. May Allah bless us for all our effords.

++ I'm definitely wont be able to be online all the time, so its better to use text messages to bid. I'll try my best to update you if you have been outbid (on request).

My Mom on News, ngehe~~~

2008-11-16T20:22:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Got this link from Abah (thx abah, I love you!). This is from Eduweb TV, they have daily news about education in Malaysia.

CLICK HERE

(just in case the link doesnt work -> http://streaming.schoolnetwork.com.my/eduwebtv/media/berita/2008/10/20081001030230_BM_031008.wmv?WMContentBitrate=150000 )

Ibu will be interviewed around 4th mins maybe...coz her school was involved in Bumi Hijau (Green Earth) Programme. Its about reviving agricultural education in school. Its really good pun, coz in this era that you can get everything in supermarket, many kids of even adults has failed to realise how hard it is to get food. Coz you can just throw money to TESCO and there ur groceries come. Hehe... Apekah point sy nih?

Its fun too, watching the plants grow. A lot of science are involved in the process, so if the teachers can point these out to the students it would be really great!

And u get the harvest summore! Thats my favourite part!

But of coz its important to instill responsibility in the childrens too.

II project desu ne?

p/s- can see my mom in vid pun, i feel so nice dy. Miss my family~~~

The trial....

2008-10-19T22:31:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt n hye...

Esok ade 2 xm, kene bace banyak, banyak, banyak (guna suara n style Mai Ahn, murid Sholehah).
Hu~ scary gle.
Scarier when ppl ask about it, r u ready? I feel interrogated.
Why I always feel inferior to everyone, feel guilty and all?
Ugh...

Some ppl says i tried too hard I wear my self off...
Some ppl say i dun try at all...
(on different occasion n subject)
Cam confuse plak kn?

So mestinye sbb salah fokus tenaga. Salah priority, salah perancangan atau x de perancangan.
Hati kat tempat lain pada sesuatu masa, atau pada setiap masa...
Sebab x de support atau x pandai mencari support, atau ego terhadap support.
Ataupun hormat dgn org atas dasar takut dan bukan sayang...
ya, mungkin x cukup sayang. X cukup sayang orang, x cukup sayang diri...
atau kene syg, tapi x rase.
Mencari yang lain, mengharap yg x dek dan melepaskan yg di tangan...
atau memilih dari dua atau tiga yang patut erat dipegang saja...
ataupun x cukup dekat dgn Tuhan.
Guilty abes.

Banyak nk kene improve but sumtimes we have to face the reality and take the blow,kn?
X pe x pe...
Be positive kn? Sekarang bukan mase nak depress ke rase bakka ke hape...penat gle jaga mood swing nih. Mcm org menopause plak, haha.
Lepak2... <-- aih, lupe, cannot do that now! hehehe...

Okay, back to study. Nk focus, nk letak hati, nk betulkan niat.

Papepun kwn, baca ni, kalau baik amek, kalau buruk, ha check ade x kt diri sendri. Kalau syg, support sy...cheewah. Kalau benci, just know that i feel bad, n trying to improve. Kalau terer, tolong, kalau x bape terer, doakan je la. Kalau x paham, x pe, baca buku lagi baik dr baca org yg x pandai mengekspressi diri. Kalau paham, paham-paham jela...

Kalau lawan yg bace? Hurm...jgn lawan dgn saye, kte kwn n sedare je tau. Kalau kte berbaik2, banyak manfaatnye. paling2 buleh doa-mendoakan.Kalau pnah saket ati...ckp kat saye, maybe ade ubat. Atau kite cube cari minyak cocoa butter yg buleh fade the scar. Atau hape2 jela.

Dan kalau dah x larat nk bace nih, buleh berenti. Babai!

Testing the Powder? What???

2008-10-12T05:22:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt n hye!

Hurm, Illani went to Italy with her parents and brought home some nice fridge magnets for her housemates (US!)...Soo sweet of her kan?

She abselutely have no idea what they said, so we end up translating them on the net. So, now, for some Italian lesson~~~~

"impara das passato, vivi il presente e spera nel futuro" means "Learn from the past, live the present and hope for the future"
"dire cose importanti con semplicita e una cosa importante" literary means, "say important things with simplicity and an important thing"... hurm, who can help interprete?
means ""potrei anche non possedere ricchezze o fama, ma ho dei nipoti che non hanno prezzo"I could not have wealth or fame, but I have grandchildren who are priceless"

But hurm... I chosen a nice design, but when we cheched the direct translation, I cannot think of any smart meaning of this phrase, "attenzione stiamo testando la polvere, non toccate i campioni" which directly translated to "attention we are testing the powder, do not touch the samples".

Haha... Im searching for the meaning so anyone who knows, please tell me,okay? But i like that it sounded scientific, like testing a chemical or antrax, hahaha!

My own intrepetation is, let life unfolds by its own and dont try to meddle with it by trying too hard or going too harshly, so handle it carefully. Hurm, that doesnt sound really convincing but I really have no other idea.

Throw me yours.

The Gift

2008-10-10T03:58:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt and hye~~

Just finished this new book by Cecelia Ahern. Her previous books are sweet, I read em all, haha.

PS/ I Love You : is a sweet chicklit. Its something I might think about doing pun. But i dont think the motion picture did justice to it. The opening ruins the sweetness of the story. Too much eye-sore.

Rosie Dunne aka Where Rainbow Ends aka Love, Rosie : My fav so far coz the theme about childhood love. Haha... but I was really tortured waiting for the ending. Sakit jiwa...why it is soo hard for them to get together!!!! When i bought it the title was Rosie Dunne...so Im one of the earliest kot. I really like it coz its in form of letters and sms and chatlog.

If You Could See Me Now aka A Silver Lining: Its about loosening up...Would make a nice Disney movie. Wanna see it filmed. Predictable but I like the flow, so ok. Imaginary frens, cute kn? Why anak2 org putih je ade imaginary frens ek?

A Place Called Here: Nice premise about place where all the lost things end up. Ok la... I like the "find me" theme.

Thanks for The Memories: Its really funny that I know all the placed mentioned in this book sbb Dublin, hehe. TCD, Viking Splash Bus Tour, haha Really2 predictable, but yeah, thats how Cecelia's books work, you know what will happen, how it will happen yg nice. I like how blood become romantic, tp flawed sbb if u get ur blood transfused from someone, the blood will eventually die off pun, n turnover of blood suppose to make the magic goes away. But if i put down my medic student cap n try to accept the cheezyness, kinda sweet gak aaa.

So, now... The Gift. i dont know how (not) long it has been on the shelf, but i bought the Hardcover straightaway in Eason. Ngahaha...didnt even wait for the paperback. But it looks too enticing, the giftwrapper theme and the red ribbon...

So, the review...
Basicly I think this book feels a little bit mature, perhaps because its less of sweet2ness kot. So, for me, this book is for everyone, not just for girls who crave for sugar-coated stories. It still retain Cecelia Ahern's signature magic. And the best part for me is its less predictable than her usual book.

This book is about a guy who needs to be at 2 places at the same time, all the time. He things he's a good juggler, but the fact is that the always flew over things and have relationships on the surface, because he have soo many things to do. He's just living life on the fast lane, and forgetting that you should pause and enjoy life, and there are ppl who matters in ur life.

But one day, he choose to help a homelessman, a gift he said... so the man returned his favour, by giving the thing he needs the most. Time.

I dont really like the brief parallel narration about the "turkey-boy", but the main story and this one was tied neatly in the end, so ill forgive it, hehe.

What else to say?Just hear some words from the author herself-lah...

...oh, ill give it 3.5/5.

p/s- Just read "The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole" by Sue Townsend... geeky and kelaka.Will read the rest of the series. Reading other people diary is fun!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hati Aku Sakit~~~

2008-10-09T03:35:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt and hye.....

Serius, something is wrong with me right now. Iman is not at peak, and I need some diagnostic tests. But, definitely, my heart is suffering. Some preliminary tests says that.Hurm... Ya Allah, help me.

Last liqa' Nuqaba', we have some discussions about hadeeth no 34 from Hadith 40.

Ill quote the Malay direct translation of the hadeeth (please look up the arabic version for accuracy):
Dari Abi Said al-Khudri r.a berkata:
Dia mendengar Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda:"Sesiapa melihat antara kamu perkara mungkar, maka hendaklah dia menegah (mengubah) dengan tangannya, maka sekiranya tidak mampu (berkuasa), maka dengan lidahnya, maka sekiranya tidak mampu maka dengan hatinya, dan itulah selemah-lemah iman."

I saw a mungkar action took place recently, but i didn't do anything at the spot. In the hadith, the word used was "fa"=thus, not "tsumma"=after that... Its time related, I should have acted upon it as i see it, not wait till its over, or wait till another mungkar act happened. But that point of time, the best I did was hating it, truly, and pray in my heart, please not let em do that...which is pathetic, coz i keep remembering this hadeeth we discussed, and I settled for the weakest of Iman... (and i feel depressed the whole night, duh).

As much as we can, we have to use our power first, then resort to the lesser option, but to admit defeat earlier on, was my embarrassment. Its a really good diagnostic test.

Its easy to call people to do good things, but its extremely hard to say, dont do that bad thing. maybe kinda easy to say, but when it happened directly in front of you, then its kinda hard, right. Sometimes you are afraid to say it. Afraid of getting embarrased, afraid of losing friends, afraid of being labelled Miss Goody Goody Girl or Mr Civic, stuff like that. But yeah, we know that we should fear Allah rather than fearing the humans. Coz then, in the Hearafter He will ask us why didnt we prevent, and if we say we are afraid of humans, then He will give it straight to our face, "By right you should fear Me."

We always pursuing the hikmah in giving advices, its a good thing pun. Stories about how Rasulullah s.a.w and Saidina Hassan n Hussein correcting people in creative and subtle ways, but effective, are really sweet and encouraging. But if you cant think of what to do, then you should not abandone the advice for hikmah. Paham ke? But remember that being harsh on people or matter that need harshness, that is hikmah too.

So, Ya Allah.. give me strength.

Okay, so, right now, while im at it, just let me say it. Sadly, we are almost desensetised by the vast amout of this mungkar thingy that happened, I think. Around us. Among us. But most of the time, I feel really disgusted... but am really sad, because these people seems to flaunt their sins. Im not saying that if you want to do sins, then do it in private. Theres no privacy in this world afterall, all you do, even the slightest smallest niat in ur heart, Allah knows. But combination of doing it, and exhibiting it WITH pride somemore, its hurm.. I dont know how to put it.

O my friends in love... to preach of loving for Allah's love is other topic, but let say you are in this relationship. Rule no.1, having a declaration or engagement doesnt make that girl/guy yours. So, BEHAVE! You know this thing about "La taqrobu zina..."="Dont get near zina", so hey, why should you cant even "get near" it? Coz you know if you play near the edge, the probability to fall is really high. And its really one thing leading to another, I dont need to elaborate, i think.

So whats with the eyes, and the hands that wander? And being really close, or even sticking together like velcro or something. And flaunt it live, publicly. Or even taking a happy2 lovey-dovey picture and showing off in friendster for all to see. Well, there are some ok couple pics, OK je la, coz theres considerable distance, maybe just for memories, ok la gak... like taking pics with frens... ok la kot. but frens or lovers, getting too close like ur gonna kiss or something, touching sommore, holding hands ke, hugging summore, or laying down together (what were u doing? Im not getting anywhere but, gosh, take care of urself la...) (saying this coz there are these happen)...come on my friends, i love you guys so im saying this, stop-lah. I dont want to jusdge people, i love you as friends, i love you as people, but some actions are sins or hovering near it, if sins are like fire, ur either burned or feel really hot right now.

some example with my lousy paint drawings (pics on frenster of live-action)-->

Kinda ok.

Haish....

If Im a mom I will cry. Its hard to imagine how you can show this to public and then some friends will give encouraging comments like, "waa.. ur so romantic." and stuff. Why cant you be more sensitive guys. Your friend needs help.

This is common, one thing becoz they usually take pic like this themselves. But for those who have this kind of picture, i like you as friends, im happy you found somebody, but i hate ur photos. (and im not jealous coz i dont have that kinda photos, Im just glad.)

I think im turning emo. And will nag. But Im sad i dont know how to say this in ur face, or even find nice way to say it. Hurm... will try.

Behave. Girls, you are valuable. Get yourself higher price tag. Im not wishing bad, but say u dont end up with that guy who has been all over you, i dont think ur future husband will appreciate ur history. Dont let that creep....creeps.hehe... Guys. Samela... Allah knows, remember that. There are far too many cases of "oopsies" even for Malay Muslim, which is too sad. It all started somewhere.

~~~Love yourself before you love someone else.~~~
(nk wat tutorial plak... lega skit)

ICCI Health Awareness Programme n Idris Tawfiq Tour

2008-10-08T00:03:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt n hye!

Ustaz Salam told us once in Syahadatul Haq talk, that if we found out about something really good, out of this world punye good, of course we will want to share it with everyone, esp the ppl we care about,kn? Thus, let me share with you guys, all the nice things that will happen, this coming week. Plan ahead, my frens, coz this is HOT!
(haha, im soo not good at promoting, but here I am, giving my best shot.)

So, 1st, its the Idris Tawfiq speaker's tour, powered by FOSIS (FEDERATION of Student Islamic Societies). Why this is soo cool? Bcoz, Idris Tawfiq is a really talented n experienced speaker pun. So, checkout when he will come to ur area...

Click the picture for bigger poster and details.Please click, hehe..
And checkout FOSIS's cool website. (with more info)

And next, is the ICCI Health awareness Program, that will be held from 15th-19th October 2008. Its kinda overlap a bit with Idris Tawfiq's schedule. But its fine, choose whichever you want, i think medical students around UCD can easily go to ICCI, and the programme is huge! So many great activities have been arranged. Its going to be officiated by Ireland's Minister of Integration, Conor Lenihan.

But please be informed that you will need to register to Lesley at 01-2080000 or Lesley@islamireland.ie.

Oh, and they will need some medical students to help with some medical checkup thingies too. IMAM will help ICCI, insyaAllah, so if you want to help up, you can contact me for now until IMAM says otherwise.

Okay, lets go to the tentative:

Wed,15 Oct-
3pm-5pm Opening and Talk->Importance of Monitoring Ur Health, then a buffet!

Thurs,16 Oct-
10am-1pm MABS workshop (stress, money management, dll) in Seminar Room.
Women's Health Check - Dr. Lawahd in Small Prayer Room.
Dental Workshop in MPH
10am-5pm Nurses MOT (assesment) in MPH
2pm-5pm Fitness Class (women) in Seminar Room
Relaxation and Aromatherapy in Small Prayer Room

Friday,17 Oct-
10am-1pm Women's Health Check - Dr. Lawahd in Small Prayer Room.
Relaxation Classes in Seminar Room.
Kids Health-PE Instructor in MPH
10am-5pm Nurses MOT (assesment) in MPH
2pm-5pm FGM Seminar (about gynaecology...) in Seminar Room
2pm-5pm Food Fair in MPH

Sat,18 Oct-
10am-5pm Nurse MOT (assesment) in MPH
10am-1pm Male Cancer Workshop in Seminar Room
10am-1pm Female Cancer Workshop in Small Prayer Room
Mens fitness workout in MPH

Sunday,19 Oct-
10-1pm First Aid Training and CPR by Order of Malta in MPH
(maybe good for UCD 1st year students, hehe)

Just remember that all the programmes must be booked in advance because of limited places. So, start looking at ur planner,guys! Lets promote and support these events because Im sure that alot of good things will come out of it. yeah, even if ur bz and cant attend, perhaps its ur words that bring others to these wonderful events. Thats a contribution too, right???

Okay guys, hope you are enjoying ur studies or going back to work after Eid holiday (not that we have one over here)... hu~~ Life will continue as usual with all the society works and exams and chores, but dont forget those sweet nights of Ramadhan. We are missing them already, right? Lets make some "reunion" then.

Assalamualaikum wbt n bye!

The Second Button~

2008-10-07T04:57:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt n hye!

Okay, perhaps Im the last person on earth who know this but whatever, this is sooo sweet, I want to share it with every girls out there who has a highschool crush. Kidding... This is for everyone who is poyo and buy cheezy stuffs, just like me.

"The second button of the top of a male's uniform is often given away to a female he is in love with, and is considered a way of confession. The second button is the one closest to the heart and is said to contain the emotions from all three years attendance at the school."<--Japanese hi-school custom. (quoted from wiki) Aww~~~ Melting with sweetness~~~ p/s: I didn't get one. But who needs one when u can get a real person. (peace!) So, next, I want to share this sweet song by an awesome group, Funky Monkey Babys aka Funmon.This is where i get to know about the second button thingy.

And the lyrics are:
This love, just one love, that I have for you is going crazy in my heart, my heart
Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms are blooming in my heart
Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms are blooming, flowers called “you”

I’m glad I fell in love with you, I’m glad I got to touch you
It was the first time I felt like I couldn’t do anything alone
Even cold winters become as warm as spring in the blink of an eye
The scenery floats before my eyes, shining, a wonderful day
Do you remember the Inokashira train to our town?
Crushed together on the packed train, holding the strap, you were in my arms
When you put your arms around me I learned for the first time what love meant
You were smaller than I imagined, I made up my mind to protect you

This love, just one love, that I have for you is going crazy in my heart, my heart
Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms are blooming in my heart
Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms are blooming, flowers called “you”

I’m grateful that I met you in the first place, in these same times in this world
As I think that, all the anxiety I’ve felt up to now disappears, one love
Being awkward, fooling around, talking all evening
The more I come to know of you, the more you seem to me like a sparkling treasure
And it’s because of that that I feel like I’d be hopeless on my own, but once again your smile saves me
I feel like I’d be hopeless on my own, but then I’m wrapped in a huge love
I can forget every bit of the sadness in my heart
If I have you, I can be much stronger than I am now

This love, just one love, that I have for you is going crazy in my heart, my heart
Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms are blooming in my heart
Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms are blooming, flowers called “you”

I’m not alone anymore, you’re in all the scenery I see
My smiles multiply, and when we’re together our tears are divided by two
Let’s entrust this huge dream to tomorrow and walk on

This love, just one love, that I have for you makes me so, so tender
Happy tears, sad tears, I want to take them all in
On bright mornings and freezing nights, let’s be together, forever

This love, just one love, that I have for you is going crazy in my heart, my heart
Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms are blooming in my heart
Cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms, cherry blossoms are blooming, flowers called “you”

I’m not lonely, even as I go home, the warmth doesn’t leave my days
Thank you, from now on I’ll live for the love between us
I’m not lonely, even as I go home, the warmth doesn’t leave my days
Thank you, from now on I’ll live for the love between us

Romaji:
Kimi ni sasagu tada hitotsu no ai ga kono mune ni kono mune ni sakimidareteru
Sakura sakura sakura saku yo boku no kokoro ni
Sakura sakura sakura saku yo kimi to iu hana ga

Kimi wo suki ni natte yokatta kimi to fureaete yokatta
Hitori ja nani mo dekinakatta sonna kimochi hajimete datta
Tsumetai fuyu demo matataku ma ni haru mitai ni atatakaku nari
Me no mae ukanda koukei kagayaite iru wandafoo dei
Oboeteru kai? Futari no machi made hashitte ita inokashira sen
Manin densha uzumaru tsurikawa kimi wa boku no ude no naka
Kata wo dakiyoseta sono toki hajimete ai no imi wo shitta
Souzou shiteta yori mo motto chiisakatta kimi wo mamorou to

Kimi ni sasagu tada hitotsu no ai ga kono mune ni kono mune ni sakimidareteru
Sakura sakura sakura saku yo boku no kokoro ni
Sakura sakura sakura saku yo kimi to iu hana ga

Mazu onaji jidai ni kono sekai de kimi ni deaeta koto ni kansha
Suru to ima made no fuan ga kiete nakunatte iku one love
Gikushaku shitari jare attari hitobanjuu hanashitari
Shireba shiru hodo kagayaku takaramono ni omoete kuru kimi dakara koso
Hitori ja dame ni nari sou demo mata sono egao ni sukuwareru
Hitori ja dame ni nari sou demo ooki na ai ni kurumareru
Kokoro no naka no kanashimi sae subete wasurerareru
Boku wa kimi ga ireba ima yori motto zutto tsuyoku nareru

Kimi ni sasagu tada hitotsu no ai ga kono mune ni kono mune ni sakimidareteru
Sakura sakura sakura saku yo boku no kokoro ni
Sakura sakura sakura saku yo kimi to iu hana ga

Mou hitori ja nai utsuru keshiki sono subete ni kimi ga ite
Kono egao ga nanbai ni mo naru shi sono namida wa futari de waru ni
Ooki na yume ashita ni takushi aruite yukou

Kimi ni sasagu tatta hitotsu no ai de konna ni mo konna ni mo yasashiku nareru
Ureshii namida kanashii namida uketometai kara
Mabushii asa mo kogoeru yoru mo soba ni iru yo zutto

Kimi ni sasagu tada hitotsu no ai ga kono mune ni kono mune ni sakimidareteru
Sakura sakura sakura saku yo boku no kokoro ni
Sakura sakura sakura saku yo kimi to iu hana ga

Sabishiku nai kaerimichi mo nukumori ga todaenai hibi yo
Arigatou kore kara mo kimi to futari no ai no tame ni ikiyou
Sabishiku nai kaerimichi mo nukumori ga todaenai hibi yo
Arigatou kore kara mo kimi to futari no ai no tame ni ikiyou

Brooch N' Keyring Happiness!!!

2008-10-04T09:54:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt....

Osashiburi ne~ Its been a while. Im waiting for few brooches and a special keychain to bake in the oven. What? Baked? Yeah, coz i made em out of FIMO clay so i have to bake em for 30 mins, then its gonna be ready. Yay!

I made few for myself just for fun recently...then wear em to uni.But ppl sez they are kinda cute, and i should make em available for sale, so, thsts what i did, hehe. I made em available for order!Custom made brooch and keyring, that should sound kinda nice,kn?

Its kinda fun. But im not that good, so i feel bad to put high prices... so i sell a brooch for 2 euros and a keychain for 3 euros. I put my lil "stall" in the prayer room with forms for ppl to order. See..

Im not sure if this is a good idea or not, but i think if people like it, they can have cute stuff at small expanse. They can even ask for anything they want as long as, x ngade sgt, hihi. N i put some sample so they know my craftsmanship, which is, duh... lopek je. Haha, but this is really fun!

See..see... the brooches i made, hope they looks cute~~~

Bear brooch for Kak Era.
Suraya's.Anis Maisarah's.
MASH's.Sholehah's.Special butterfly for me roomate.Muslima~

Cute cat for Amimah.Lil butterfly for Nafisah.Heart keychain for mUNi.Other view of heart keychain.

Fragile heart sign for my bag.

Lil' Cagari.

Himawari.

Hello Kitty.Sushi set.

Lil white butterfly.

I love karipap.

Ladybird.

I made smaller version of this teddy.
Adah's Lil Teddy.

Black butterfly.

Simple random flower.

Mr Bee.

For those who support PUISI, i shall give 25% the money you pay to PUISI coz they hv been so kind to help me advertise and even open booth there nnt. hihi...sweet, but only if im able to finish considerable amount b4 the event, if not, what will be there on the booth,kn?

Haha... tgkla. Just finished making ten "nametags" for the hosts of an open house tomorrow. Which house? Secret.. Ill post their finished "nametags" later. hihi....

Contact me if you want to book.

See ya!

Already Im Soo Lonesome....

2008-08-28T12:18:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum...

Goin back to Eire....
waaaaa.........!!!!!!
can I bring you all??

Amateur Muralist-s.

2008-07-20T23:14:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

My mom testing the golden Pelaka.

90% me 10% ibu. Inspired by her tudung, some weed flower and a chilli plant.

Sudut Kerjaya in Counselling room.

Work in progress, its a lot of work but i enjoy every drop of paint i used (and spilled).

My bro wonderful painting, i just colour the skin part, and add the details of infections at the hands and fingers and the eye, till my mom beg me to stop becoz she dont want the schoolkids to freakout.

Proud collab. by me and my parents.Batik style.
Me and my bro Amir, did this in 2 days.
My mom and her staff did this.
Sweet collaboration of me, all my siblings and ibu.
Heliconia and ficus by me and ibu. Abah love heliconia so ibu said this is dedicated to him.

Its been a while, guys.I've been kinda busy right now. Painting.Painting walls. Murals, yeah.Its been 9 walls since i got back. Quite much kan?I left my external hard drive at school...perhaps later ill show u the 9 walls.And my shabby painting skills. But i had fun. Soo much. and somehow i think, in alternate reality, perhaps im a muralist. Im not trying to say that im good, its just i love it. It pays well too. One pakcik said, for one wall of 3x6m wall, i can get around RM4000.00. Its moneymaking if we can be a pro. But im not...hehe. just an amateur. But its fun, and challenging as well. Coz im making those mural to order, so they are like missions, assignments, with specific clients' needs.

I think the best part of the job is i paint at school, on the hallways. So, in a way i got my own viewers, fans and supporters. And they are cute school children...curious and eager. they will stop on their way to class, or the assembly place, or the canteen...stop to see me paint. And ask this and that...
"How do u do it?"
"Where do u learn to paint?"
And throw some compliments.. (hehe, let just call em encouragements.)
"Lawala cikgu" -->yup they call me teacher, and i love it. Coz to me, teachers are honorable beings. Cuter, if we walk pass em, they will give this super polite bow and say, "Assalamualaikum cikgu...aww...can i take one of em as pet?
And when we draw, they will try to guess what we are trying to do, what word we are trying to write.

Then, after the murals are done...they really like it. And one of my favorite thing is, the mural does deliver the intended message. For example, i did one that has these words, "Hidup Berkualiti Tanpa Dadah." Even before the completion, the kids that pass by will chant the wordings... it makes my heart flowers in happiness every time i heard that phrase. And i did one with this scary looking sick pakcik on top of drugs, to portray that drugs mess up with ur life bad. While painting, i heard the kids discussing that they hate drugs, cigarette and all that. I guess, murals are really great medium to get the msg tru...and also beautify the school. All this, make me very fond of the tiring job, itself.

It takes like 3 days to finish a wall average.By a day...its like 10 am till 7pm. I use PELAKA, mural colour...Mom gets me all the colours and tools that i need, even the apron. The tools:
> brushes. Loads of em.
> palates. but usually i just mix the colours on pelaka lids.
> chair and ladder. It gets high sometimes.
> pencil and ruler and eraser. For sketching.
> old newspapers. For alas and dabbing dry the brushes.
> Water. u noe la.
> Lacquer spray. for glossy and lasting mural.
Mom bought a tube of gold shiny pelaka for outline of our batik murals. It cost RM130 per Kg. Gle mahal,kn?

But im glad, my whole family can help sometimes.
> Ibu. She's the boss. One who give out missions. And responsible for most of concept, and sometimes design and coloring. Shes really good at painting leaves.
> Abah. His coloring (tones and shades) is really nice.Usually helps a bit before we get home.
> Ame. Super good sketch. His style is solid colour, so usually i help with shades.
> Madihah. Ultra-patient and superb with outlines. Her outlines are thin and smooth.
> Hamdan. Very good with coloring but have hard time staying at the site coz he's extremely ezly distracted by.....
> Aiman. basicly, he's the best critics around. He's so mean u will cry. Just dont let he touch that brush! Or he will do it his own way.
> Me? I do all the job. But my weakness is the outlining.

I think we can make a business out of painting mural.

p/s: I wanna learn n try to make graffiti or graffiti style painting.

My First Lightpainting

2008-07-10T00:43:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt....

Hehe... seronok juga tau!
lepas ni nak wat lagilah...
tp kene fikir betul2.
Ni pun jd sbb ade ame...
(",)v

Me Mama in Mr. Mama

2008-06-05T00:56:00.000+08:00

Assalamuaaikum....

one, two, three... carik!

Watashi no Inori

2008-05-09T06:34:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Its xm week... status... [2/6]

Understanding Disability For Healthcare Students - DONE!
Japanese Ab initio - DONE!
Genetics Perinatal and Paediatrics - Tomorrow, this is the one i take few mins from for this post.
Cardiovascular and Renal Diseases - The day after tomorrow.
Principleof Infections. -Nxt week.
Cancer, Chemotheraphy and Immunopathology. - The independent day,ngaha!

Eventho ill go home in 18 days, and meeting my parents in 11 days. I missing all the ppl in Msia so much. Family, frens, special frens. (",)v Much much more right now it kinda hurts. But my prayers will reach there, InsyaAllah.

So my prayers to Allah, let it be between "us". But my as for prayer on the "surface"... Im dedicating this for you.

Complete with translation, ngehehe... (Inori by Lina Park, yup, its U Raise Me Up music)

urunda hitomi no oku ni
kawaranu kimi no sugata
"doko made sekai wa tsudzuku no"
todaeta hibi no kotoba

In the depths of my tear-filled eyes,
Is your everlasting beauty.
"How far does the world go?"
Those words from our bygone days.

kogoeru arashi no yoru mo
mada minu kimi e tsudzuku
oshiete umi wataru kaze
inori wa toki wo koeru

Even on those freezing, stormy nights,
Though you are still out of sight, I continue on.
Please tell me, ocean-crossing winds,
That my prayers will pass through time.

kasunda chihei no mukou ni
nemureru hoshi no souwa
"akenai yoru wa nai yo" to
ano hi no tsumi ga warau

Beyond the misty horizons,
Stars are fabled to lie.
"Dawn will surely follow every night."
The sins of my past laughs.

furueru kimi wo dakiyose
todokanu kokuu wo aogu
kikoeru yami terasu kane
kimi eto michi wa tooku

I try to embrace you trembling with uncertainty,
But I look up at the empty sky beyond reach.
I hear the chime that illuminates darkness,
Showing me that the path to you is still far.

kogoeru arashi no yoru mo
mada minu kimi e tsudzuku
oshiete umi wataru kaze
inori wa toki wo koeru

Even on those freezing, stormy nights,
Though you are still out of sight, I continue on.
Please tell me, ocean-crossing winds,
That my prayers will pass through time.

kogoeru arashi no yoru mo
mada minu kimi e tsudzuku
oshiete umi wataru kaze
inori wa toki wo koeru

Even on those freezing, stormy nights,
Though you are still out of sight, I continue on.
Please tell me, ocean-crossing winds,
That my prayers will pass through time.

inori wa toki wo koeru

My prayers will pass through time.

[Ayyuhal Walad Al-Muhib] A Talk by Sidi Afifi al-Akiti

2008-05-01T06:11:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

It has been a while since my last post on Ayyuhal Walad Al-Muhib series, right?
Alhamdulillah, in Dublin, there was a programme called "Hidden Treasure of Imam Ghazali", organised by MSM, PPIMI and Darul Firdaus. The speaker is Sidi Afifi al-Akiti.

The talk touched briefly on the history of Imam Abu Hamid Al-Ghazali and also the book, Ayyuhal Walad Al-Muhib (Dear Beloved Son), but just few first chapters because obviously, full sharah will take longer.

Take time and watch these videos, ok? (I just put part one as the other parts can easily be found in Watch Related panel in Youtube.)

__________________________________________________________________________

May you benefit from this, everyone!
Allah bless us all.

Burned CPU --> Burned Pudding

2008-04-30T05:45:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Alhamdulillah, these days I've been so happy. Been smiling most of the time. Yeah, i heard that dreaded, "Why can u stop smiling?" question again after a long time. Somehow it make me stop and think, am I all right? But I guess, Im all good. Never better.

Too many great things have been happening lately. Great and sweet. Making me feel appreciated, loved, or at least accepted. Or things that bring hope and promises, and new start, after a wonderful closure. Things that make me glad Im alive. But to live, means to hold responsibilities.

One of the responsibilities thats coming my way right now is the Final 2nd Year exam. Super Ultra Hyper Scary. The Very very~~ Its like a huge battle coming...

But in the preparations, I dont know why but today Ive been a little bit off the track. I dont know, maybe my CPU has been half hangit, butsomehow Ive been spending the whole day in the kitchen. As soon as I woke up (my early morning= vampire punye standard, ok?), i went to the kitchen, pick up my cooking book after looong time x pernah bukak pun, and decided to make a lemon-flavoured egg pudding. The electric mixer was broken so i just convert my hands into one. Every living soul that passed the kitchen marveled at my whole-hearted efforts in beating the eggs and stuff. Perhaps its one heart and a half effort, ngahaha... Then after baking, i keep going down to check, to take it out and putting the dish back in the oven again... countless time...

Then, off all the free time in the world I have chosen this very day to make salmon patties, which take more time than average dish... and bersemangatly, every now and then turun to cut vege n stuff. then siap went out to buy bell pepper, which was required by 2 tablespoon only in the ingredients. Huh, I dont know what has come into me today. Haha.. then I made the egg-sauce and simmer some vegi for the dish.

In the end, i spend hours in the kitchen.... and the best thing is,the pudding was burn and too sour for it to be edible... (being in the kitchen the whole day doesnt turn u into cooking goddess, i learnt.) ..duh... I guess, being in exam week does make us act a little bit wierd.

It effects everyone of us (budak second year specificly and sume budak nak exam generally).
eg:

If Aisyah's with her "Mandi x basah tido x lena..."
hyper-eating species -"Sharking" the whole packet of Custard Creme biscuits while trying to memories the mechanism of anti-bacterial drugs.
vampire-like circadian clock species-Im one of these species. "Siang mengantuk malam berjaga."
hyper lovey-dovey species - "Honey, dont hung up the phone... teman I study~~." (Not my species).
military-regime species - They never take their eyes off the notes, they also sleep (ter-sleep) on their notes, I reckon it helps with the "uploading" process.
Success Potion species - These people burn their notes and mix the ashes with their favourite beverages. I think this species has long extinct.
Many more la...(running out of idea n time actually) but i think the most successful of them is the one who really work hard and believe in tawakkal. An believe that Allah's equation of success is not just proportional to how many A's u get but how much u are sincere in ur efforts and how u truly believe in His Promises.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So my friends, all the best for the exams, okay? Lets give our all because this is also included in our continuous assesment... the one we'll be getting result in the Hereafter.

"Allahumma najjihna fil imtihan, fiddunya wal akhirah"
Amin~~~

Al-I'tiraaf

2008-04-29T02:51:00.001+08:00

Tuhanku...aku tidak layak memasuki syurga Firdaus...
Dan aku pun tak mampu menahan siksa api Neraka.

Terimalah taubatku dan ampuni dosa-dosaku...
Sesungguhnya Engkaulah Pengampun dosa-dosa besar.

Dosa-dosaku amatlah banyak bagai butiran pasir...
Terimalah taubatku, wahai Yang Maha Agung.

Umurku berkurang setiap hari, sedang dosa-dosaku terus bertambah...
Bagaimana aku sanggup menanggunya?

Tuhanku...hamba-Mu yang durhaka ini datang bersimpuh menghadap-Mu...
Mengakui dosa-dosa dan menyeru memohon kepada-Mu.

Bila Kau ampuni aku, Engkaulah Sang Pemilik Ampunan...
Bila Kau campakkan aku, kepada siapa mesti aku berharap selain dari-Mu?

-Al Hasan bin Hani al-Hakami (Abu Nawas) dari Baghdad

Tanjoubi in advance!

2008-04-27T20:43:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt....

Tanjoubi wa shi-gatsu nijuuhachi-nichi desu. However, yesterday was as good as my birthday, coz everyone has been soo sweet! Oh my! Thank you very much.

Why do you guys have to be sooo sweet?
Why do you make me smile all day?
My buccinator hurts, tau!

Its the house tradition of suprising each other. (eg: sudden blackout, mysterious missing housemate, a guest return after usrah with cake, suprisingly unsuprise birthday party, misterius abang favourite fried chicken visit, big problem with PUISI, macam-macam la!) Somehow this leads me to think, duh, they must be planning something. and it wud really be soo lame if we are expecting something, kan? Like my little bro Aiman who sound a lil bit unsatisfy when all we did is to take him out for a dinner, maybe coz he expected more, for a month in advance already! That kinda poyo, but let the kid be. hehe...hes cute,kn?

But Im totally not suspecting Illani's innocent "mengidam"kan taco-chips. After JPA meeting, even we have no cash in hand, she really want taco-chips, even we got free food from the meeting. So, we withdraw cash and then upanya K-club is closed. Then she bring me to Dunnes, nk beli roti kononnye. In the end, satu kedai kitorg sapu! Adoila....

Then, she still want to buy taco-chips, so we decided to go to Rico's. Yeah right, upon entry I saw Jannah, Intan n Saadah, so I went, "Ya Allah korg kat sini gak...". x prasan lagi tu.innocent nk pensan. Then I saw the cake. Thats when... I cant unfix this smile the whole day. Adoi~~ Thanks gals, ur soo sweet!

There was 2 pakciks also in the shop. before I come they have asked, whose bday is it? So, when we eat, i cut 2 slices (on encouragements of others) and gave em to the pakciks. They said happy bday, and it feel soo good to give em some.

Jannah gave me this box of chocolate. Its my second time, I guess. last time I got one during valentine. Not from anyone in particular. Just a guy who fell down, and got his groceries all over the road. I helped picking up the stuff, and in the end he gave me this cute heart shape choco box! Sweet kn????

Then we played Truth or Dare. Actually its just Truth, and usually bday girl have to answer all the maut-maut questions. Huh, I'm glad I survived without a scratch. To dear Illani, Intan, Saadah n Jannah, keep the answers to ourselves kay?

In the end, the pakcik Rico's suddenly took out a 500ml mineral water and say, the pakcik over there pays for this. Aww... baik kn? Then actually, they belanje us air tu sebotol sorang. happy tol!

Thnx evryone who wished, especially when they day even havent come yet. Cute, mesti sbb Jannah dear iklankan kat YM status dia. And she described this party as "sincere"... betul! sweet giler! Thx sume, love u all!
____________________________________________________________________

Let me share 2 hadith, one about love and one about kindness (charity), (its an english translation, so please get hold of Arabic version for more accurate meaning and syarah)

From Abi Hamzah bin Malik r.a, Rasulullah s.a.w said,: "(La yu'minu ahadukum hatta yuhibba liakhihi ma yuhibbu linafsih) One among you is not considered a believer until he love for for his brother, what he loves for himself."

Narrated Abu Hurairah r.a : The Prophet s.a.w said,: "Charity is obligatory everyday on every joint of a human being. *If one helps a person in matters concerning his riding animal by helping him to ride on it or by lifting his luggage on to it, all this will be regarded as charity. A good word, and every step one takes to offer the compulsory congregational prayer is regarded as charity, and guiding somebody on the road is regarded as charity."
(Sahih Bukhari, Hadith no 2891)

* To show gratitude to allah for keeping your body safe and sound, you should give in charity or do charitable deeds.

Okay, till next time. Ja!

Aiman HoNeY-BuNNy, Tanjoubi Omedeto Gozaimasu!

2008-04-25T05:40:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

This post is dedicated to my beloved Honey-Bunny Aiman Syakirin. Happy Birthday my dear!
I have no big present for you, does me coming home next month will be enough? Hehe...

Uve grown loads, my boy. I cant imagine how famous you are at school. So active and being "hot-stuff" some more, hihi. But Im glad ur the kind of kid who knows what he wants and work for it. Im glad my boy, Im sooo glad.

Ur still so funny and so cheeky. I want to pinch yor cheek a little bit too, hihi.

I wish you will continue to grow to be a soleh son and be useful to everyone. My boy, life is still far fro you, insyaAllah, and in the end, its just for the sake of Allah.

My dear, Im coming home... and let us share our stories and our hope. And I hope I can share this wonderful thing with you. A love bigger than u ever imagine. HIS and only HIS.

I love you my dear, may Allah bless you with his hidayah and rahmat, may you always be in best of health and circumstances. I miss you, but not for long now.

p/s-- PIBA (Persatuan Ibu Bapa dan Anak) akan besidang kembali!

There must be hatred!

2008-04-21T07:03:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt....

Hope people will digest this first before taking it out of context.
I just want to point out a few things....A bit ying and yang-gy~~

1. You cant have a world filled of love without hatred...coz to love you need to hate. Ngaha! Am I contradicting myself? Nay nay, I hope. What I mean is, love is not love until you have the opposite of ur subject. But then, there is a question of degree and whether u channel ur love or hate to the right subject.

eg: If you want to love Islam, Allah, then you have to hate sins, jahiliyyah stuffs.
You must enter Islam fully, right? No obeying some nice and ez rule and diobeying others.
Oh, I dont say you have to be extreme, its completely different.
eg: When u love, u want all the best things for the party, and u must hate all bad things for the party gak,kn?

2. You need to be able to crumble, to be able to be strong. I had one bad time lately because of my bad. I cried my loudest, letting it all out. I cried until I lost my breath, and look truly miserable. But at the end of that, I dont feel all good, but I felt stronger. Somehow. That I have let go of all, all the things that I held behind this "strong" fortress of a face. The fragility of this heart.

Then I have a thought, why qiamullail will produce strong ppl. Maybe one of the hikmah, for The Knowledge is His, and I know just as whats given to me. And if what I think is true, its because you have a chance to truly be ur humble self, to crumble and cry, with all ur hearts and letting it out JUST and only JUST to The One who will definitely Hear you.

I need this.

3. You need rest to be able to work, and you need to work, before rest is of any use. In this, the concept of degree and balance needs to be used. All work and no rest give u no energy to do more work. All rest,... try it, try lying in bed for 1 day, and all u feel is just ache. Haha!

Okay, with all this miscellaneous concepts, i hope you gain a bit something. If I have idea to elaborate or discuss i will.

Teach me how to love...

2008-04-21T06:20:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Im taking some time from my studies. But I need to get this out of my system. Again. Maybe. Whatever.

I have questions to ask, and some of them feels stupid. I just feel that i lost myself these days. But will you bear with me?

Firstly, do you ever feel you have limited ability to love or feel emphatic? Or is it just you love ppl in different way than people do? Or u truly defective somehow?

What if you realise some day that you never care? Or you do, but its never enough?

What if you know its happening, you know u need to do something, but u just dont know what to do and just be there... but do nothing. Coz its awkward. Its hurt knowing but just cant do it. But you were there. Just there. Is it still caring? Is it still love?

Is just feeling it inside and not acting is love? They say, love is not love until you give it away. If its true, how will you feel if you know, you never truly love?

What if you think u love but never show? Will the other party feels it too? I know my dua will always reach there, insya-Allah. But, are we falling apart if we just drift away?

Is longings love?

How to love unconditionally? How can you brush off these little things that keeps bugging?

How to truly belong? Coz I want to be there...

Hurm... I have more but words seems to escape my fingers (coz im typing, ngeh!).But surely Ill find an answer if I just return to Him. And if I purify my heart a bit more.

"Jika ada kasih antara kita, kita kembalikan kepada Yang Esa" <- lirik lagu Sahabat Perjuangan. This is dedicated to all my IMAM 07/08 tanzim. And for the ones who are willing...

Teach me how to love,
Show me where i stand
Catch me when i fall
Pick me up again
Teach me how to feel
When to take a breath
How the people heal
When they're scared to death

Teach me how to love,
when the sun turns to rain
How to give too much,
Without expecting back the same
Teach me how to love,
when I’ve lost my way
How to not give up
When I wanna run away
Teach me how to love

Give me room to fail
Let me make mistakes
Help me mend my heart
It always seems to break

Teach me how to love,
when the sun turns to rain
How to give too much,
Without expecting back the same
Teach me how to love,
when I’ve lost my way
How to not give up
When I wanna run away
Teach me how to love

Love...

Love is the answer they say
But it’s hard to find it

I...
I won’t get out of my own way
til’l i fall deep inside it

Teach me how to love,
when the sun turns to rain
How to give too much,
Without expecting back the same
Teach me how to love,
when I’ve lost my way
How to not give up
When I wanna run away
Teach me how to love

[Poison apple mode] A song, a manga and an anime

2008-04-13T08:06:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikm wbt....

Im in no mode for anything heavy...
So Im sharing.... some poison apples that was shared to me by a fren.

I like this manga called Vampire Knight.And the first episode of the corresponding anime is already out in youtube and crunchyroll, so Im really happy, ngehehe. Warning, too much anime is harmful to ur study, time management and will reduce the time u will take for other more meaningful activities. Take the right dose, ok?And i really like the opening song [Futatsu no Kodou no Akai Tsumi ]... kya~~

Oh, and check out this wonderful sweet song that I just found and i really like. Dedicated to...erm that person already knows. Ok ni lagu lama tp ok je kn? Ni bukannye laman web lagu2 terkini pun.Enjoy!

And here is the lyrics...Its Hana Kagari which means a type of flower in Japan. The singer is Yumi Shizukusa.

忘れかけた思い出に
燈台(あかり)が灯りだす
蛍のよう　それはあなたを
愛しくさせるのね

[In the memories that I've started to forget about
The lights start to turn on
Like a firefly
That makes me love you ]

懐かしき淡い香り
いつまで　胸焦がす

[The fleeting and nastalgic scent
How long will it burn my heart for?...]

ゆらり　ゆらり　舞う　花篝り
会いたい思い　届けて下さい
違う道を選んだけれど
今も心が呼んでいる

[The swaying, swaying, dancing hana kagari
Please convey my thoughts of wanting to see him
I've chosen a different road
And even now my heart is calling out]

Slowly now Pale moonlight
Shine through your gentle eyes
Trust all my love for you

I wanna be strong for you
I know we'll be together
Don't let your feeling go Oh Please

I feel you I hear you
Do you believe in fate?
Feel all my love for you
(forever and ever more)

I feel you I hear you
Do you believe in fate?
Feel all my love for you
yeah yeah

あなたが思っているより
強くなんかないよ
長い髪は　あの日のまま
好きだって言ってたから

[I'm not as strong
As you think I am
My hair is long, like it was on that day
Because you told me that you liked it...]

きつく抱いて　離れぬように
全て忘れさせて

[Hold me tight, so that I won't leave
And then let me forget about everything]

ゆらり　ゆらり　舞う　花篝り
寄り添う影が重なっていく
溢れる想い　雪を溶かして
やっとあなたに出逢える
そして　きっと

[The swaying, swaying, dancing hana kagari
The shadows, huddled close, are accumulating
My memories overflow, and the snow melts
Finally I'm going to see you
And, of course... ]

I feel you I hear you
Do you believe in fate?
Feel all my love for you
(forever and ever more)

All my love for you
I feel you I hear you
Do you believe in fate?
Feel all my love for you
(forever and ever more)

願いかけて　見る　花篝り
一人にしないとちゃんと言って
この手の平にある温もりが
夢でありませんように

[I see the hana kagari, and I begin to wish
Don't leave me alone
In order for the warmth in the palm of my hand
To not be a dream... ]

I feel you I hear you
Do you believe in fate?
Feel all my love for you
(forever and ever more)

I feel you I hear you
Do you believe in fate?
Feel all my love for you
(forever and ever more)

I feel you I hear you
Do you believe in fate?
Feel all my love for you
(forever and ever more)

I feel you I hear you
Do you believe in fate?
Feel all my love for you
(forever and ever more)

Quick Update~~~

2008-04-01T04:35:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Osashiburi ne? Lama x bersuara disini... nk ckp x de masa, still ade 24 jam sehari, nk ckp busy, pnah ade lebih banyak kerja dr ni, nk ckp malas, itu mungkin lebih mengena...

Banyak sangat yang berlaku dari post terakhir.

1. Mid term exams...dan resultnye. Lusa pula akan ade exam Principles of Infections.

2. Final exam timetable dah keluar. Spanning from 9 Mei to 16 Mei. Heart stopped.

3. Mungkin tak balik Malaysia lagi tahun ni. huu~~~ malas nak fikir sebenarnye.

4. IMAM Medical Symposium 2008.Sangat-sangat best organise sympo. So many memories. Found a family.Inspired.

5. Got my new toy, Nikon D70. Second hand, but come with a complete set.

6. Made this video for FOSIS Women's Conference.

7. The night of the rescue.
"0.0.0 huh?"

8. The night the bleeding sky.
"Words are falling from the dark bleeding sky, distorting those images in the puddles. In a blanket of chill, accompanied by squeaks of HER brakes,i brave this valley of faceless people."

9. Pizza date with Aisyah. Pizza plus window shopping. And a sweet chat.

10. Long distance date with Amy. The nearest we can get is across the road where St. Patrick's Parade was going on. We cant even see each other. Just a voice over the phone.
"Im sorry I asked you out."

11. Set up account at deviantart.com. Check out my deviations.

12. Made this poster...

out of this picture..Oh, kepada girls Dublin, jom la join painball ni tau. Boleh daftar lagik sampai 4Apr.
And join gak mende2 len cam Masai, Kursus Kawin, Islamic Awareness Week.

And jgn lupe studi, gosok baju sblm pegi skolah and muhasabah diri sblm tido.

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Small Deeds - Native Deen

2008-03-04T07:58:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Got some exams this week...so, just enjoy this rap nasyeed. Ngehe...
Small Deeds from Native Deen.

Ever been on a drive? Inside in your ride
And your looking through the glass, see a car on the side
The engine's broken and the car is smoking
And the dude is shaking cause the heat is baking
Or this cat's (guy) gotta flat, and the spare's all whack
No jack in the back, and no clue where he's at
There ain't no real rush, but you roll right by
Not even asking the guy if he needs a supply
He might be alright, and to pass ain't a sin
But within you feel bad the state that he's in
How hard would it been, just to ask “you ok”?
That might be the deed that you need to succeed
That might be the deed that will so please Allah
That your forgiven the sinning you did when you was living
It's a small little thing, that can cling and just ring
And will bring the blessing from Allah Who's the King
We pass on the deeds cause they seem all small
But it might be the deed that's the best of them all
Mad when see all the passes I took
On these small little deeds I just overlook

[Chorous]
I just can't believe
Small little deeds that I overlook, can you see?
Little deeds that I overlook, and you read
I read about it in my holy book, it says
Small deeds never overlook

Picking up trash on the path in a flash
Taking glass from the grass, as you pass to your class
A smile goes a mile and is sure worthwhile
When a brother's hostile, and has been for awhile
Put a dollar every day in the sadaqah (charity)
It may be small but you do it for the baraka (blessing)
I know you're saving for the Polo and the Nautica
A poor student but you do it just to please Allah
Things like praying for an ailing brother, under the weather
Obeying yo your lovely mother, it's for the better
Stay and help your baby brother, put on a sweater
Even saying good to one another when you're together
Advice to another sister about a mister
Your wife always go and kiss her, tell her you miss her
At night do quiet dikhr (mentioning God), and pray the witr
Invite a guy who wants to bicker, to share a snicker
Grand plans expand in our small little hands
But we overlook demands that just seem like strands
We get jammed on exams, cause we skip the small things
Small baby deeds come, bring the blessings!

[Chorous]
I just can't believe
Small little deeds that I overlook, can you see?
Little deeds that I overlook, and you read
I read about it in my holy book, it says
Small deeds never overlook

Muhasabah for the day, what could I do next time...
This little things, it can be da'wah too right?
And tarbiyah too. (",)

It would be nice if all nasyeed have video with this kind of quality.
Especially for Malaysian videos. Nasyeed video shud be more appealing and less poyo, hehe. And leave out that jiwang2 ones. Its too poyo. (although im poyo, but some "nasyeed" jiwang is too cheesy for me. It might work on some schoolgirl tho)

Okay, gonna revise and practice my hiragana for exam tomorrow.
Best of luck for my friends who are having exams, any type... even JPJ driving exam, ngehehe...
Ilal liqa, maa' assalamah.

Allah knows what the best for us...

2008-02-29T01:44:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Buat yang sedang dan bakal menghadapi ujian...

Ppl may not be able to understand or be with you all the time. But, there is the One and Only....
Be strong.

Painting auction is over but the Fundraising is Not!!!

2008-02-27T07:59:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

At 2400 26 Feb 2008, Alhamdulillah I closed the auction with the painting sold for Euro 220.00 to Mr. Bidder 4 (to honour the bidder's request of confidentiality). Congratulations!

For all my dear friends who participate, thanks a million. Only Allah can evaluate and reward your generosity and good intentions. This auction is marely to increase your awareness about the fundraising that has been going on to settle the land payment to erect Galway Mosque. May Allah help us in making this a reality.

Even if you didnt win, I hope as you bid you realised how much you are willing to give away for charity. With that spirit in mind, winning doesnt matter. You all can still donate to the bank account below...

HOW TO DONATE?

Accout name: Galway Mosque
Ireland Bank Account No. : 013 140 48
Bank Sort Code : 93 74 36

Thank you very much for my friends who support this idea of auction which really come out of nowhere. Ups... no... its an ilham from Allah in helping us, as we strive to "help" in His way.May Allah bless us all.

Remember that the money is needed before the end of February. So hurry up everyone!!!

[Ayyuha'l Walad al-Muhib] Dhikir

2008-02-26T05:22:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh...

Im sorry for long break from Imam Syafie's advices. My bad. Lets not waste time...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twelfth Counsel

Dhikir

My Dear Beloved Son,

"Awaken at night to pray [tahajjud]"(Quran, 17:79). This, my son is a command.

"And in the hours of early dawn, they were found praying for forgiveness." (Quran, 51:18). This verse indicate thankfulness.

"And those who pray for forgiveness in the early hours of the morning." (Quran, 3:17). This verse indicates dhikr of Allah the Exalted.

The Messengger of Allah s.a.w said: " Three voices are beloved to Allah the exalted: the voice of the cock, the voice of the one who reads the quran and tha voice of those seeking forgiveness in the early morning."

Sufyan al-Thawri r.a said:"Allah the Exalted has created a breeze which blows in the early hours of the morning, that carries the dhikr and the supplications to the Supreme King." He also said: "In the early hours of the night, a caller from under the Throne calls:" Let the worshippers rise," and they will get up and pray till the early hours of dawn. At that point a caller will call:"Let those who pray for forgiveness arise," and they will get up and seek forgiveness. At dawn a caller will say:"Let the heedless arise," and they will get up from their beds as the dead ressurrected form their graves."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[ENDED] Painting Auction for Galway Mosque.

2008-02-25T11:10:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Dear brothers and sisters in islam...
Have you hear about fundraising that has been going around?
Galway Mosque needs us! Hurry, before end of February!!!!

HOW TO DONATE?
Accout name: Galway Mosque
Ireland Bank Account No. : 013 140 48
Bank Sort Code : 93 74 36

Well, in conjuction of UCDISOC's Islamic Awareness Week, we had a batik booth. And see how wonderful this painting (drawn by Irfan),

This is hand drawn with wax and colored with batik dye, on A5 canvass. Look at the baby-colour scheme, isnt it adorable???

If you want this painting, you can bid by contacting me via YM, (my YM rasmi, not to be disclosed here...) or this temporary id, binamasjid.

Bidding will end at 26 Feb by 12.00 midnight. (my clock, ngehe...) As this is manual auction, ill try my best to be adil and the winner will be final and he/she shud be contacted for immediate internet banking payment. Ill confirm it and transfer it to Galway Mosque's account and dispatchthe painting asap. (",). Well, as Ill just be accepting payment by internet banking, so, ppl from other country susah aa nk join. For that, gomennasai!

Starting bid is Euro 2.00, its the cost of the canvas.(final bid= euro 220.00)

Even if you dont want the painting, be free to donate ,k? Our allowances has been increased for a reason too, hehe. Be thankful and share the nikmat with those in need.(",)

"Take sadaqah (alms) from their wealth in order to purify then and sanctify them with it, and invoke Allah for them. Verily,your invocations are source of security for them, and Allah is All-Hearer, All Knower." (translated from 9:103)
---------------

p/s-binamasjid will always be "away", just add and tegur her.

Of Pain...

2008-02-24T08:24:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Pain tells us that we are alive, at least, even if we are not all that well. Not feeling pain doesnt mean we are dead,there will be other kind of pain then, and thats subject to our deeds when we are alive. And to His Mercy, thats what I believe. To die is painful. Even Allah's most beloved experienced it. Inevitable till the end.

And its a way for your body to tell you something is wrong. And you need to fix it. Like ur touching a boiling hot kettle and pain ask you to retract ur hands. To lose the sensation, like very bad diabetic patient, may allow it be too late until you realise how badly injured you are.

So, be thankful for the pain. Be thankful that it hurt. Be thankful you made mistakes.
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

Just dont think ur in pain alone. Even if I cant really help. Tell me, tell somebody. Just to hold your hands while u try ur best to endure. But, first and foremost, rely on Him. ["You (Alone) that we worship, and You (Alone) we ask for help." (1:5)]

Just know that everything hurts. To endure every struggle hurts. To hurt others hurts. Even to love hurts.
“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

It may come in a combo when you just dont know when and how it will end. Or even if it will ever do. Its like a long fall and ur really dont know. And not knowing what to anticipate when u finally reach the bottom. Will u shatter of survive? But then my dear. Just dont quit.
“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.”

In every experience, there's somthing to be gain. You may carry the scar forever. but you can always look back and see that you survived.
“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.”

So my dear, dont let this experience go. At least make something from it.
“Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.”
What doesnt kill you makes u stronger, huh?

And my dear, if ur in soo much pain and you dont know what to do. Ask Him for the way.
["Guide us to the Straight Way"(1:6)]
“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.”

------
For my dear, whom pain I believe is the sign that she is loved.

Islamic Awareness Week UCD...

2008-02-15T16:10:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt....

Its NEXT Week! Lets join all the fun activities...

See ya!

Things That Never Change

2008-02-12T04:08:00.001+08:00

(The ori images was from movie TOKIKAKE, my neighbourhood, my glasses, Afni's tudung, some chick's hair from deviantart n someone's glasses from Google)

We joked around on our way home.
I made you angry for no reason.
I guess I just wanted to see your different sides.

Your large eyes, your trembling voice,
Even now they are close by my heart.
In the crowd of strangers, I ran after you.

I was searching for the things that never change.
I will never forget how you were on that day.
These feelings I have transcend time.
I just want to meet you now.

These feelings upon which the street lights shine,
I could never manage to let you have them.
The nights brought us further away from each other.

The lie you told through your opaque heart,
Even now it continues to resonate within me.
Uncertain of our future, you and I fell in love.

I was searching for the things that never change.
The unfamiliar place we found on that day,
If the two of us can go there together again,
I will be reborn as many times as it takes.

As I embrace the things that have no shape,
I fail to hear the breaking sound.
On the same path that we walked together,
Even now the light continues to shine.

I was searching for the things that never change.
I will never forget how you were on that day.
These feelings I have transcend time.
I just want to meet you now.

I just want to meet you now.

I will remember ...

2008-02-09T09:08:00.001+08:00

"Being attached to someone is something so precious that u have to make sure your dignity is always being upheld."

Lets Join Us!

2008-01-22T08:33:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Just finished with these posters. Thanks to Intan for helping with wordings and sorry for such intolerable delay. All in all, its great fun making posters until sometimes we "syiok sendiri" and forget that posters are for delivering specific messages and not the sole medium of self expression. So, the typography is important. Clarity is important. Information that we want to highlight is important. Remember that Munir.. not just the appearance of it.

I wish I can improve my poster making skill. (Photoshop la tu)... So, your constructive criticism is always welcomed. Im still a beginner. (^_^)v And im not "ahli" in this matter so pardon my knowledge.

So, feel like coming? Come la tau. Ill be waiting!

Oh, and for those who dont know Bro Abdul Karim.. (saye pun x tau sape tu???), lets read a bit..
Speaker: ABDUL KARIM
Afro-European convert to Islam.
Author of the 'Enter the Shadows: Exposing the new world order' documentary.
Co-founder of Halaqa media and Blackbanner media.
Studied media studies at the University of Luton.
Studied basics of Malaki Fiqh in Morocco.
Graduated from the Markfield Institute of higher education
In Muslim Chaplaincy.

"Verily, a meeting in which we recite Quran and learn God's knowledge is one of the gardens in Paradise."

Myrisstycated

Jejak

Work, Life and Festival Buku Kanak-Kanak 2011

Wahai Tuanku (ver.1)

PMC Pre-Farewell

Primum non nocere

[PMC / Penang] Pre-loved and still loved but need to let go...

Prisoner.

When I'm afraid...

“Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all. For now you are traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be.”, quote by Meg Cabot.

How to Hand Sew Your Own Little Felt Coin Purse

Word salad for thought

In the pouring rain...

My best beloved!

Postcards are awesome!

Wedding banner for my dear friend

Almost empty fridge mix and match.

Being a Big Sister :)

Ceritera Kawen Mawen : Tangga Rumah Pengantin

One Perfect Rose

Konteks tak disertakan ...

How To Spare Your Loved Ones Heartaches

Post-exam = Post Ictal

Google it.

This is how it feels like...

Secrets to Sweet-Talking

Random Funny Stories

Mind Your Silly Little Tongue

The Lift...

A Baking Virgin... no more

This baton is my keepsake...

Kudoakan Syurga Buatmu....

Looking for Cinderella...

Home built around you...

Why things happen to them?

Jigsaw Puzzle of Life

Paths.

Between Today and Tomorrow~

[A Stem and 5 Leaves]: Hearties

Bookaholic Anonymous

Disorder of Prematurity

Exam Nite Curry-in-a-Hurry

No pet allowed~

Pusat Serenti2

Layang-layang 2

Saving You (Pusat Serenti 1)

Aku Dalam Dingin Dalam Kelam

Food poisoning "song"

Story Books with Sign Languange "Translation"

Kebahagiaan~

Opthalmology Examination : Romanticised

K.I.T.E : Strings attached.

Aku seorang stalker

Happiness

Sole Night Eye

~Unloved~

A Very Special Day For My Very Special Abah

Lets walk hand in hand forever!

Ntah la....

Anda suka tak berkawan dengan murid khas..?

Or was it you?

Kejora Melambai Hatiku Pergi [Pantun]

~~~25 Randomised Thingies~~~

~~~25 Stars That I Noticed Recently~~~

For a moment, I wish midnight doesnt exist...

Back-biting

Auction for Charity Week : Handmade Garden Themed FIMO Penholder [ENDED]

My Mom on News, ngehe~~~

The trial....

Testing the Powder? What???

The Gift

Hati Aku Sakit~~~

ICCI Health Awareness Programme n Idris Tawfiq Tour

The Second Button~

Brooch N' Keyring Happiness!!!

Already Im Soo Lonesome....

Amateur Muralist-s.

My First Lightpainting

Me Mama in Mr. Mama

Watashi no Inori

~25 Randomised Thingies~

~25 Stars That I Noticed Recently~