Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Burned CPU --> Burned Pudding

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Alhamdulillah, these days I've been so happy. Been smiling most of the time. Yeah, i heard that dreaded, "Why can u stop smiling?" question again after a long time. Somehow it make me stop and think, am I all right? But I guess, Im all good. Never better.

Too many great things have been happening lately. Great and sweet. Making me feel appreciated, loved, or at least accepted. Or things that bring hope and promises, and new start, after a wonderful closure. Things that make me glad Im alive. But to live, means to hold responsibilities.

One of the responsibilities thats coming my way right now is the Final 2nd Year exam. Super Ultra Hyper Scary. The Very very~~ Its like a huge battle coming...

But in the preparations, I dont know why but today Ive been a little bit off the track. I dont know, maybe my CPU has been half hangit, butsomehow Ive been spending the whole day in the kitchen. As soon as I woke up (my early morning= vampire punye standard, ok?), i went to the kitchen, pick up my cooking book after looong time x pernah bukak pun, and decided to make a lemon-flavoured egg pudding. The electric mixer was broken so i just convert my hands into one. Every living soul that passed the kitchen marveled at my whole-hearted efforts in beating the eggs and stuff. Perhaps its one heart and a half effort, ngahaha... Then after baking, i keep going down to check, to take it out and putting the dish back in the oven again... countless time...

Then, off all the free time in the world I have chosen this very day to make salmon patties, which take more time than average dish... and bersemangatly, every now and then turun to cut vege n stuff. then siap went out to buy bell pepper, which was required by 2 tablespoon only in the ingredients. Huh, I dont know what has come into me today. Haha.. then I made the egg-sauce and simmer some vegi for the dish.



In the end, i spend hours in the kitchen.... and the best thing is,the pudding was burn and too sour for it to be edible... (being in the kitchen the whole day doesnt turn u into cooking goddess, i learnt.) ..duh... I guess, being in exam week does make us act a little bit wierd.

It effects everyone of us (budak second year specificly and sume budak nak exam generally).
eg:
  • If Aisyah's with her "Mandi x basah tido x lena..."
  • hyper-eating species -"Sharking" the whole packet of Custard Creme biscuits while trying to memories the mechanism of anti-bacterial drugs.
  • vampire-like circadian clock species-Im one of these species. "Siang mengantuk malam berjaga."
  • hyper lovey-dovey species - "Honey, dont hung up the phone... teman I study~~." (Not my species).
  • military-regime species - They never take their eyes off the notes, they also sleep (ter-sleep) on their notes, I reckon it helps with the "uploading" process.
  • Success Potion species - These people burn their notes and mix the ashes with their favourite beverages. I think this species has long extinct.
  • Many more la...(running out of idea n time actually) but i think the most successful of them is the one who really work hard and believe in tawakkal. An believe that Allah's equation of success is not just proportional to how many A's u get but how much u are sincere in ur efforts and how u truly believe in His Promises.
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So my friends, all the best for the exams, okay? Lets give our all because this is also included in our continuous assesment... the one we'll be getting result in the Hereafter.

"Allahumma najjihna fil imtihan, fiddunya wal akhirah"
Amin~~~

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Al-I'tiraaf

Tuhanku...aku tidak layak memasuki syurga Firdaus...
Dan aku pun tak mampu menahan siksa api Neraka.

Terimalah taubatku dan ampuni dosa-dosaku...
Sesungguhnya Engkaulah Pengampun dosa-dosa besar.

Dosa-dosaku amatlah banyak bagai butiran pasir...
Terimalah taubatku, wahai Yang Maha Agung.

Umurku berkurang setiap hari, sedang dosa-dosaku terus bertambah...
Bagaimana aku sanggup menanggunya?

Tuhanku...hamba-Mu yang durhaka ini datang bersimpuh menghadap-Mu...
Mengakui dosa-dosa dan menyeru memohon kepada-Mu.

Bila Kau ampuni aku, Engkaulah Sang Pemilik Ampunan...
Bila Kau campakkan aku, kepada siapa mesti aku berharap selain dari-Mu?

-Al Hasan bin Hani al-Hakami (Abu Nawas) dari Baghdad

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Tanjoubi in advance!

Assalamualaikum wbt....

Tanjoubi wa shi-gatsu nijuuhachi-nichi desu. However, yesterday was as good as my birthday, coz everyone has been soo sweet! Oh my! Thank you very much.

Why do you guys have to be sooo sweet?
Why do you make me smile all day?
My buccinator hurts, tau!

Its the house tradition of suprising each other. (eg: sudden blackout, mysterious missing housemate, a guest return after usrah with cake, suprisingly unsuprise birthday party, misterius abang favourite fried chicken visit, big problem with PUISI, macam-macam la!) Somehow this leads me to think, duh, they must be planning something. and it wud really be soo lame if we are expecting something, kan? Like my little bro Aiman who sound a lil bit unsatisfy when all we did is to take him out for a dinner, maybe coz he expected more, for a month in advance already! That kinda poyo, but let the kid be. hehe...hes cute,kn?

But Im totally not suspecting Illani's innocent "mengidam"kan taco-chips. After JPA meeting, even we have no cash in hand, she really want taco-chips, even we got free food from the meeting. So, we withdraw cash and then upanya K-club is closed. Then she bring me to Dunnes, nk beli roti kononnye. In the end, satu kedai kitorg sapu! Adoila....

Then, she still want to buy taco-chips, so we decided to go to Rico's. Yeah right, upon entry I saw Jannah, Intan n Saadah, so I went, "Ya Allah korg kat sini gak...". x prasan lagi tu.innocent nk pensan. Then I saw the cake. Thats when... I cant unfix this smile the whole day. Adoi~~ Thanks gals, ur soo sweet!



There was 2 pakciks also in the shop. before I come they have asked, whose bday is it? So, when we eat, i cut 2 slices (on encouragements of others) and gave em to the pakciks. They said happy bday, and it feel soo good to give em some.

Jannah gave me this box of chocolate. Its my second time, I guess. last time I got one during valentine. Not from anyone in particular. Just a guy who fell down, and got his groceries all over the road. I helped picking up the stuff, and in the end he gave me this cute heart shape choco box! Sweet kn????


Then we played Truth or Dare. Actually its just Truth, and usually bday girl have to answer all the maut-maut questions. Huh, I'm glad I survived without a scratch. To dear Illani, Intan, Saadah n Jannah, keep the answers to ourselves kay?

In the end, the pakcik Rico's suddenly took out a 500ml mineral water and say, the pakcik over there pays for this. Aww... baik kn? Then actually, they belanje us air tu sebotol sorang. happy tol!

Thnx evryone who wished, especially when they day even havent come yet. Cute, mesti sbb Jannah dear iklankan kat YM status dia. And she described this party as "sincere"... betul! sweet giler! Thx sume, love u all!
____________________________________________________________________

Let me share 2 hadith, one about love and one about kindness (charity), (its an english translation, so please get hold of Arabic version for more accurate meaning and syarah)

From Abi Hamzah bin Malik r.a, Rasulullah s.a.w said,: "(La yu'minu ahadukum hatta yuhibba liakhihi ma yuhibbu linafsih) One among you is not considered a believer until he love for for his brother, what he loves for himself."

Narrated Abu Hurairah r.a : The Prophet s.a.w said,: "Charity is obligatory everyday on every joint of a human being. *If one helps a person in matters concerning his riding animal by helping him to ride on it or by lifting his luggage on to it, all this will be regarded as charity. A good word, and every step one takes to offer the compulsory congregational prayer is regarded as charity, and guiding somebody on the road is regarded as charity."
(Sahih Bukhari, Hadith no 2891)

* To show gratitude to allah for keeping your body safe and sound, you should give in charity or do charitable deeds.

Okay, till next time. Ja!

Friday, April 25, 2008

Aiman HoNeY-BuNNy, Tanjoubi Omedeto Gozaimasu!

Assalamualaikum wbt...

This post is dedicated to my beloved Honey-Bunny Aiman Syakirin. Happy Birthday my dear!
I have no big present for you, does me coming home next month will be enough? Hehe...


Uve grown loads, my boy. I cant imagine how famous you are at school. So active and being "hot-stuff" some more, hihi. But Im glad ur the kind of kid who knows what he wants and work for it. Im glad my boy, Im sooo glad.


Ur still so funny and so cheeky. I want to pinch yor cheek a little bit too, hihi.

I wish you will continue to grow to be a soleh son and be useful to everyone. My boy, life is still far fro you, insyaAllah, and in the end, its just for the sake of Allah.

My dear, Im coming home... and let us share our stories and our hope. And I hope I can share this wonderful thing with you. A love bigger than u ever imagine. HIS and only HIS.

I love you my dear, may Allah bless you with his hidayah and rahmat, may you always be in best of health and circumstances. I miss you, but not for long now.



p/s-- PIBA (Persatuan Ibu Bapa dan Anak) akan besidang kembali!

Monday, April 21, 2008

There must be hatred!

Assalamualaikum wbt....

Hope people will digest this first before taking it out of context.
I just want to point out a few things....A bit ying and yang-gy~~

1. You cant have a world filled of love without hatred...coz to love you need to hate. Ngaha! Am I contradicting myself? Nay nay, I hope. What I mean is, love is not love until you have the opposite of ur subject. But then, there is a question of degree and whether u channel ur love or hate to the right subject.

eg: If you want to love Islam, Allah, then you have to hate sins, jahiliyyah stuffs.
You must enter Islam fully, right? No obeying some nice and ez rule and diobeying others.
Oh, I dont say you have to be extreme, its completely different.
eg: When u love, u want all the best things for the party, and u must hate all bad things for the party gak,kn?

2. You need to be able to crumble, to be able to be strong. I had one bad time lately because of my bad. I cried my loudest, letting it all out. I cried until I lost my breath, and look truly miserable. But at the end of that, I dont feel all good, but I felt stronger. Somehow. That I have let go of all, all the things that I held behind this "strong" fortress of a face. The fragility of this heart.

Then I have a thought, why qiamullail will produce strong ppl. Maybe one of the hikmah, for The Knowledge is His, and I know just as whats given to me. And if what I think is true, its because you have a chance to truly be ur humble self, to crumble and cry, with all ur hearts and letting it out JUST and only JUST to The One who will definitely Hear you.

I need this.

3. You need rest to be able to work, and you need to work, before rest is of any use. In this, the concept of degree and balance needs to be used. All work and no rest give u no energy to do more work. All rest,... try it, try lying in bed for 1 day, and all u feel is just ache. Haha!

Okay, with all this miscellaneous concepts, i hope you gain a bit something. If I have idea to elaborate or discuss i will.

Teach me how to love...

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Im taking some time from my studies. But I need to get this out of my system. Again. Maybe. Whatever.

I have questions to ask, and some of them feels stupid. I just feel that i lost myself these days. But will you bear with me?

Firstly, do you ever feel you have limited ability to love or feel emphatic? Or is it just you love ppl in different way than people do? Or u truly defective somehow?

What if you realise some day that you never care? Or you do, but its never enough?

What if you know its happening, you know u need to do something, but u just dont know what to do and just be there... but do nothing. Coz its awkward. Its hurt knowing but just cant do it. But you were there. Just there. Is it still caring? Is it still love?

Is just feeling it inside and not acting is love? They say, love is not love until you give it away. If its true, how will you feel if you know, you never truly love?

What if you think u love but never show? Will the other party feels it too? I know my dua will always reach there, insya-Allah. But, are we falling apart if we just drift away?

Is longings love?

How to love unconditionally? How can you brush off these little things that keeps bugging?

How to truly belong? Coz I want to be there...

Hurm... I have more but words seems to escape my fingers (coz im typing, ngeh!).But surely Ill find an answer if I just return to Him. And if I purify my heart a bit more.

"Jika ada kasih antara kita, kita kembalikan kepada Yang Esa" <- lirik lagu Sahabat Perjuangan. This is dedicated to all my IMAM 07/08 tanzim. And for the ones who are willing...

Teach me how to love,
Show me where i stand
Catch me when i fall
Pick me up again
Teach me how to feel
When to take a breath
How the people heal
When they're scared to death

Teach me how to love,
when the sun turns to rain
How to give too much,
Without expecting back the same
Teach me how to love,
when I’ve lost my way
How to not give up
When I wanna run away
Teach me how to love

Give me room to fail
Let me make mistakes
Help me mend my heart
It always seems to break

Teach me how to love,
when the sun turns to rain
How to give too much,
Without expecting back the same
Teach me how to love,
when I’ve lost my way
How to not give up
When I wanna run away
Teach me how to love

Love...

Love is the answer they say
But it’s hard to find it

I...
I won’t get out of my own way
til’l i fall deep inside it

Teach me how to love,
when the sun turns to rain
How to give too much,
Without expecting back the same
Teach me how to love,
when I’ve lost my way
How to not give up
When I wanna run away
Teach me how to love

Sunday, April 13, 2008

[Poison apple mode] A song, a manga and an anime

Assalamualaikm wbt....

Im in no mode for anything heavy...
So Im sharing.... some poison apples that was shared to me by a fren.

I like this manga called Vampire Knight.And the first episode of the corresponding anime is already out in youtube and crunchyroll, so Im really happy, ngehehe. Warning, too much anime is harmful to ur study, time management and will reduce the time u will take for other more meaningful activities. Take the right dose, ok?And i really like the opening song [Futatsu no Kodou no Akai Tsumi ]... kya~~

Oh, and check out this wonderful sweet song that I just found and i really like. Dedicated to...erm that person already knows. Ok ni lagu lama tp ok je kn? Ni bukannye laman web lagu2 terkini pun.Enjoy!



And here is the lyrics...Its Hana Kagari which means a type of flower in Japan. The singer is Yumi Shizukusa.

忘れかけた思い出に
燈台(あかり)が灯りだす
蛍のよう それはあなたを
愛しくさせるのね

[In the memories that I've started to forget about
The lights start to turn on
Like a firefly
That makes me love you ]

懐かしき淡い香り
いつまで 胸焦がす


[The fleeting and nastalgic scent

How long will it burn my heart for?...]

ゆらり ゆらり 舞う 花篝り
会いたい思い 届けて下さい
違う道を選んだけれど
今も心が呼んでいる

[The swaying, swaying, dancing hana kagari
Please convey my thoughts of wanting to see him
I've chosen a different road
And even now my heart is calling out]

Slowly now Pale moonlight
Shine through your gentle eyes
Trust all my love for you

I wanna be strong for you
I know we'll be together
Don't let your feeling go Oh Please

I feel you I hear you
Do you believe in fate?
Feel all my love for you
(forever and ever more)

I feel you I hear you
Do you believe in fate?
Feel all my love for you
yeah yeah

あなたが思っているより
強くなんかないよ
長い髪は あの日のまま
好きだって言ってたから

[I'm not as strong
As you think I am
My hair is long, like it was on that day
Because you told me that you liked it...]

きつく抱いて 離れぬように
全て忘れさせて

[Hold me tight, so that I won't leave
And then let me forget about everything]

ゆらり ゆらり 舞う 花篝り
寄り添う影が重なっていく
溢れる想い 雪を溶かして
やっとあなたに出逢える
そして きっと

[The swaying, swaying, dancing hana kagari
The shadows, huddled close, are accumulating
My memories overflow, and the snow melts
Finally I'm going to see you
And, of course... ]

I feel you I hear you
Do you believe in fate?
Feel all my love for you
(forever and ever more)

All my love for you
I feel you I hear you
Do you believe in fate?
Feel all my love for you
(forever and ever more)

願いかけて 見る 花篝り
一人にしないとちゃんと言って
この手の平にある温もりが
夢でありませんように

[I see the hana kagari, and I begin to wish
Don't leave me alone
In order for the warmth in the palm of my hand
To not be a dream... ]

I feel you I hear you
Do you believe in fate?
Feel all my love for you
(forever and ever more)

I feel you I hear you
Do you believe in fate?
Feel all my love for you
(forever and ever more)

I feel you I hear you
Do you believe in fate?
Feel all my love for you
(forever and ever more)

I feel you I hear you
Do you believe in fate?
Feel all my love for you
(forever and ever more)

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Quick Update~~~

Assalamualaikum wbt...

Osashiburi ne? Lama x bersuara disini... nk ckp x de masa, still ade 24 jam sehari, nk ckp busy, pnah ade lebih banyak kerja dr ni, nk ckp malas, itu mungkin lebih mengena...


Banyak sangat yang berlaku dari post terakhir.


1. Mid term exams...dan resultnye. Lusa pula akan ade exam Principles of Infections.

2. Final exam timetable dah keluar. Spanning from 9 Mei to 16 Mei. Heart stopped.

3. Mungkin tak balik Malaysia lagi tahun ni. huu~~~ malas nak fikir sebenarnye.

4. IMAM Medical Symposium 2008.Sangat-sangat best organise sympo. So many memories. Found a family.Inspired.

5. Got my new toy, Nikon D70. Second hand, but come with a complete set.

6. Made this video for FOSIS Women's Conference.



7. The night of the rescue.
"0.0.0 huh?"

8. The night the bleeding sky.
"Words are falling from the dark bleeding sky, distorting those images in the puddles. In a blanket of chill, accompanied by squeaks of HER brakes,i brave this valley of faceless people."

9. Pizza date with Aisyah. Pizza plus window shopping. And a sweet chat.

10. Long distance date with Amy. The nearest we can get is across the road where St. Patrick's Parade was going on. We cant even see each other. Just a voice over the phone.
"Im sorry I asked you out."

11. Set up account at deviantart.com. Check out my deviations.

12. Made this poster...
Paintball5
out of this picture..Oh, kepada girls Dublin, jom la join painball ni tau. Boleh daftar lagik sampai 4Apr.
And join gak mende2 len cam Masai, Kursus Kawin, Islamic Awareness Week.

And jgn lupe studi, gosok baju sblm pegi skolah and muhasabah diri sblm tido.

Assalamualaikum wbt...